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Erica Ivory

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Member Since: Dec, 2002

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One Last Victim
by Erica Ivory

Saturday, November 15, 2003

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Ironic


He watches her..
Everyday..
Following her to school
Studying her routine..
Staying far enough away
not to be seen..
He watches through her
window at night..
As she sleeps..
In her litlle pink bed
tucked in tight..
She know not
of this predator..
Who lurks in shadows
out of sight ..
She know not of the threat
to her young life..
He sweats as he watches..
Dreams of when
she will belong to him..
Dreams of all he will do..
Hands shaking in anticipation..
To see the look on her face..
To know she will die
in his embrace..
He followed her one day..
When into the woods
she went to play..
She sensed him in
the breeze somehow..
She ran as fast as her
little legs would go..
She ran so fast
she didn't see..
The cliff that loomed
behind the trees..
He chased her through
the woods with fury..
She screamed as she fell
Landing on jagged rock..
Her predator..
Blind with want
also jumped
through the trees..
His chosen prey..
Now a mere five feet away..
He watched her take
her final breath..
He smiled
One last victim
before his death.  
 
 


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Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/15/2003
a chilling write that is painful to read for me, because of a child involved. Though it is well done Erica!You do these extremely well due to your own experience...
Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader) 11/15/2003
great WRITING, Erica!
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 11/15/2003
Hot N Diffferently Done So!

TRASK
Reviewed by Robin Ouzman Hislop 11/15/2003
there is a time when she actually senses his presence & intent, what it is she knows he knows & it is against her, for me the ist & ii nd part could have been more developed around that, drawing us into the weird nature of the relationship & it´s predatory circumstances, v difficult to do, but a good effort
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 11/15/2003
Terrific spell binding write!
Reviewed by Christine Morell 11/15/2003
Excellent, chilling piece.
~Chrissie
Reviewed by Gary Gebert 11/15/2003
Very, very disturbing subject, but reality we need to think about. I had to read from start to finish before I had a chance to think. You caught my attention. Keep your children close!

P.S. You know there are alot of woodland up here!

Gary
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/15/2003
chilling! :( (((HUGS)))
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 11/15/2003
This was sad, but I'm glad there will not be any more victims.

Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu :o)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 11/15/2003
Hey! Liked the ending. Yep.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 11/15/2003
Haunting write Erica!!

The pic gives me tha creeps!!

What is that??

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 11/15/2003
Hauntingly real.
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 11/15/2003
entertaining Erica but sounded like halloween to me. cheers G
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 11/15/2003
Gave me cold chills, toooo real for comfort, well done.
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