What Do You Mean?
by Keighley Louise Perkins
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
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I sit at my window watching the world,
Watching it pass me in the blink of an eye
The pain in my heart beats uncontrollably
And I can't help but want to start to cry
I turn away and look around my house
The place that you and I have made a home
And I feel so much sorrow inside
Because soon this will have passed and I'll have gone.
I remember how it used to be
We were together morning, noon and night
There wasn't a moment I was alone
And I knew that this love was so right
But all I have now are pictures,
Memories of times that are long gone,
Faded memories of happiness
That changed into times that just go wrong.
I walk away from the window
And gather up some more of my possessions,
Trying to hide all of my emotions,
Trying to come to terms with your confessions
As I pack up my things brokenhearted
I came across a picture of you by my bedside
And tears sting the back of my eyes
Despite all of the tears that I have cried.
It's strange there's a smile on your face
Because I never see it upon there anymore
All I see now is a shadow ver it
That crushes me down to beneath the floor
I can't come to terms with the changes
How everything has taken the wrong turn
You used to be the man I depended on
But now you're the man to let my love burn.
You used to hold me so tightly,
You used to whisper so sweetly in my ear,
You used to send chills down my spine
When you said all the things I loved to hear
Now you won't even talk to me,
You can't even look me straight in the eye
All you do is cause arguments
And that's the reason why I'm saying goodbye.
I know you tell me you love me
But what do you mean when you say that?
Because all you do is make me smile
Then the next second bring the tears gushing back
You can't honestly love me
If you're always treating me like this
Love shouldn't mean torment
It should mean complete and utter bliss.
I try to make everything better
But you don't tell me what's troubling you
And I can't read your mind
So there's nothing that I can really do
Yet despite all this pain
I still love you with every bit of me
But I can't stay around here
When you act as though you can't see.
I walk away from our home,
Tears in my eyes that are hidden by the rain
I can't understand any of this,
I can't accept that I'll never see you again.
I try not to turn back,
I try so hard not to take one final glance
But I can't fight the temptation
To run back to my first true romance.