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Kevin S. Hart

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Member Since: Nov, 2003

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River Walk
by Kevin S. Hart

Saturday, December 27, 2003

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           >> View all 144

Kind of a haiku/tanka mix as a sonnet form. Any suggestions for improvement, please!

River Walk


Cold stream under sun

Rises to meet a new day

Steady current flows

With no reason as to path

Nor care for destination

Woodland memory

Swept too quick through chill waters

Autumn leaf floats, swirls

Frost filled nights begin

Careful regeneration

New circles of truth

With different destinies

Constant searches for meaning

Breeze whispers winter

Leaves fall, meandering

Unavoidable fate

Between rock strewn banks

Swift, cruel rapids endanger

Unasked for journeys

Followed until riverís end

                         And patient wait for rebirth

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Reviewed by Jim Dunlap 1/2/2004
Lots of good stuff for haiku here, but a sonnet is 14 lines only, it has an octave (8 lines), a volta (turning point) in line 9, and a sextet (six lines) which includes the volta. Nothing you have here is in any way connected to a sonnet, although you have some very nice imagery. It is more of a haiku sequence, which I believe might be a tanka.
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