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Peter J. Oszmann

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Member Since: Dec, 2001

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· Jew Be or Not Jew Be; The Story of a Perpetual Alien

Short Stories
· Stories about my childhood, my Mother and her family.

· The Butterfly Effect (Repost) Revised

· A living, breathing abstract art…- (Satire)

· Christmas Miracles.

· The Anniversary.

· Traces In The Air - A story of Meaningful Coincidences.

· A Bar of Chocolate… and a Smile…

· You'll cry where no one will see you.

· Professor Somersault knows it all.

· Travel Diary USA - Canada. 1995.

· About the Book -“Remember Us”

· About dicks and arseholes.

· Dotcomology

· Bringing up kids.

· Blogito, ergo sum.

· 2 Blog Or Not 2 Blog.

· Terrorism, martyrdom: A "Jew-ish" perspective.

· Ruminations…

· Who needs Love?…

· Thoughts… just thoughts… Part 2

· Once upon a time - Sonnet

· A stroll in the autumn glow - Sonnet

· Autumn Requiem

· Hallowed be Thy name…

· After sunset - Sonnet

· Why visit museums?

· Searching for your face in the clouds – Sonnet

· Ideal Man – Ideal Woman

· Tanabata - Sonnet

· A Moment On a Summer’s Day… - Sonnet

         More poetry...
· Magda's Daughter : A Hidden Child's Journey Home

· Author Interview at Phoenix Book Reviews.

· Review of "Jew Be or Not Jew Be; The Story of a Perpetual Alien" at Phoenix Book Reviews

· The Book "Jew Be or Not Jew" Be Available in the UK.

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Books by Peter J. Oszmann
  Confessions of a Dirty Old Man.
by Peter J. Oszmann
Friday, January 09, 2004

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Recent poems by Peter J. Oszmann
•  Once upon a time - Sonnet
•  A stroll in the autumn glow - Sonnet
•  Autumn Requiem
•  Hallowed be Thy name…
•  After sunset - Sonnet
           >> View all 256




I’m not a boastful man… and you may not believe me,

But I swear what I tell you here are every bit true .

You may judge me that I acted abominably,

Or that I am as mad as a demented cuckoo.


I slept with Sandra Bullock… and you heard nothing yet…

Nicole Kidman, Debra Winger and quite a few more;

Names as many as letters are in the alphabet,

Slept with some only yesterday, others… long before…


With some I slept early evening, with others at dawn.

With Sophia Loren it was a hot afternoon.

If I recollect it was evening with Goldie Hawn

And with Doris Day it must have been a sunny June.


Kim Basinger was on a Sunday after breakfast,

I remember it well because the morning was hot,

Pamela Anderson… she must have been the amplest…

But oh, when was it? I really remember it not…


Michelle Pfieffer must have been at tequila sunrise,

Whilst Sigourney Weaver was just aping it so well…

Meg Ryan, well, what can I say?  Her eyes mesmerise…

And who wouldn’t remember her orgasm decibel…


Julia Roberts… well she is a pretty woman

And I confess I slept with her at Notting Hill Gate.

Demy Moore… what could I do? I am only human

And she undoubtedly is an exceptional mate.


Yes it’s absolutely true ; I slept with all of them.

We all assume their virtues are not locked in Fort Knox.

I slept with all… They were on telly… these “Fatal Femme”…

And I’ve been snoring my head off in front of the “box”.





© P. J. Oszmann (2004)


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Reviewed by Tonya Harper (Reader)
LOL. I enjoyed reading this. Well written. Thanks for the laugh.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Funny write, Peter; thanks for the >grins <, my friend! Enjoyed~ (((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D Love ya, Peter! I really do!
Reviewed by jude forese
LOL! well done!
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
I'm just wondering when you found time for Melanie Griffith and Dolly Parton.
Reviewed by Trixie Love
Great write Peter....

Thanks for the laugh...

Trixie :)
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
You are cracking me up, Sir! And I find it a tad disturbing that we have both slept with the same women - repeatedly, I assume!
Reviewed by A PAX
this is the BEST!!!!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

LOL--this is so funny, and cleverly written

some of my best naps are in front of the telly :)

(((HUGS))) and love,


but i don't sleep with the the guys *grins*
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