I’m not a boastful man… and you may not believe me,
But I swear what I tell you here are every bit true .
You may judge me that I acted abominably,
Or that I am as mad as a demented cuckoo.
I slept with Sandra Bullock… and you heard nothing yet…
Nicole Kidman, Debra Winger and quite a few more;
Names as many as letters are in the alphabet,
Slept with some only yesterday, others… long before…
With some I slept early evening, with others at dawn.
With Sophia Loren it was a hot afternoon.
If I recollect it was evening with Goldie Hawn
And with Doris Day it must have been a sunny June.
Kim Basinger was on a Sunday after breakfast,
I remember it well because the morning was hot,
Pamela Anderson… she must have been the amplest…
But oh, when was it? I really remember it not…
Michelle Pfieffer must have been at tequila sunrise,
Whilst Sigourney Weaver was just aping it so well…
Meg Ryan, well, what can I say? Her eyes mesmerise…
And who wouldn’t remember her orgasm decibel…
Julia Roberts… well she is a pretty woman
And I confess I slept with her at Notting Hill Gate.
Demy Moore… what could I do? I am only human
And she undoubtedly is an exceptional mate.
Yes it’s absolutely true ; I slept with all of them.
We all assume their virtues are not locked in Fort Knox.
I slept with all… They were on telly… these “Fatal Femme”…
And I’ve been snoring my head off in front of the “box”.
© P. J. Oszmann (2004)