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Ed Matlack

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Member Since: Aug, 2003

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Featured Book
Coping with illness and grief, by Dr Audrey Coatesworth
by Audrey Coatesworth

Coping with grief and illness is a poetry book written by a retired psychiatrist, Dr Audrey Coatesworth. It is written to help children in some of varying situations of i..  
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I'm Gonna Die a Virgin...(from the paws of Rufuz)
by Ed Matlack

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I really NEED to meet a bitch in heat, its that time of my life...

IíM GONNA DIE A VIRGINÖ(from the paws of Rufuz)


Dad is really great and I love him no end,

But how am I gonna get me a bitch in heat?

If Dad wonít let me bark at the other dogs,

Or even go up and sniff them, so I can meet.


I canít even watch Mom & Dad have ďfunĒ,

They shut the door and tell me to go lay down,

All I get to do is to listen to the sound,

Panting and heavy breathing is all I hear,

             Not also, very clear.


Maybe Duchess could come over and see me,

Or maybe Kady & I could make some bacon, hehe,

Donít you all get what I am saying here, donít you see?

I need to get my first piece of tail,

From then on, everything will be okay,

I must not herein fail!


Daddy, I love ya, but you gotta let me do this,

You gotta let me get my first piece of a Miss,

I promise I wonít ever again ask, for anything like thisÖ



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Reviewed by Debra Conklin
Ed, you gotta cut the apron strings on your "son". Let him out, have a little fun. He's been faithful, he's been true. Let me wander the big bad blue. Find a lady, a little miss. Get his heart broken, what a bitch!

Wait a minute, that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Poor puppy, they'll be another bitch in heat, give it a coupla months.

Have a tail-waggin' day, Ed!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

LOL--hope you find the bitch of your dreams :)

cute poem--good boy

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)

why won't your daddy let you meet another playmate???
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
rufuz....just like any other male; wants a woman, and wants a playmate NOW! LOL funny write; thanks for sharing! (((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
LOL cute write.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Ed, don't ask me how I know this, but there's a place in Atlantic City that can take care of Rufuz's problem - won't cost you much either.
Third door east of the boardwalk; knock three times; password is Scoobydoo; they'll take care of him. Good Luck!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
Oh Dear, this was just so funny, very cute!

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