Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Neil Levin, iKaren Wilson, iJohn Herlihy, iJ. Allen Wilson, ijude forese, iCheryl Sellers, iCharles Neff, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 5,681 Titles
· 43,173 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Sidekicks Incorporated
by Terry Vinson

In the world of good versus evil, not all heroes wear the white hat.....  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
In Search of Truth and Freedom; A Path from Ignorance to Aw
by Dietmar Rothe

A scientist/philosopher explores the mysteries of existence in a highly personal quest for answers to life's ultimate questions, forging a bridge between sterile science ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Just Around The Corner
  2.  What Part Of No Don't You Understand?
  3.  Yes
  5.  Halloween is Coming!
  6.  My Good Friday Procedure
  7.  Sadie Graylow
  8.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  9.  The Toilet Seat
  10.  Ah, Shucks
  11.  A Cool Guy
  12.  The Smithereens
  13.  A Southern Gentleman...
  14.  A Guitar
  15.  Lines
  16.  SUCK...
  17.  'Nere Do Wells
  18.  Nuts
  19.  Gary's Ghostly Bar & Grill
  20.  Buzzards Gizzard...

by Ed Matlack

Sunday, February 15, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  Living within the Barrens
•  Our dog Rufuz...
•  Crazy...
•  Standing the test of time..
•  Day dreamin'...
           >> View all 5,656

Discussing smells at 5 in the morning, man I must be desperate...?




Okay, all you housewives or wanna be’s out there,

What the hell is the difference between the expensive stuff,

Or just the inexpensive dollar store brands,

Besides the obvious,

They smell better if they are costly…


They don’t make the clothes smell any different, in the end,

I buy the expensive stuff, get less detergent, have to be on the lend,

Or buy the less costly stuff, have money left over to do the wash,

Never do I seem in the smaller stores having to bend,

The stuff is right there, in front of my nose, just having to sniff,

But not actually see it, I can sense it with the sniffer of a hound…


Soap on the other hand, used for the body primarily,

Is the same, smelling better the more costly,

But then again, did you smell the less costly stuff?

Pee you, & I do mean pee,

Be better off using your own, smells better than living alone,

Hard to believe that people actually use those low priced brands,

Those must be the folks I seem to get stuck in elevators with, phew!


Let us forget the usage of low priced deodorant, on top of using the

stinky soap,

At least they try, but who wants to be close to that, maybe a zoo animal at best,

Maybe like a crotch smells after a few days without a bath,

Please don’t ask how that smell I am familiar with? J


Guess we covered the worst, let us not get into anal smell,

Hell, my dinner is already regurgitating, can’t ya tell?

So for now we have dealt with all the smells I can possibly sell,

Let me now close and let you think about all the worst above…





Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Carol Chapman (Reader) 2/15/2004
I made the mistake of reading this right after coming in from farm chores. I spit coffee all over the keyboard and roared. Once stood in line at a grocery store having left the barn and run over to grab corn oil for an ailing horse. Two people behind me started saying they smelled horses and sniffing. I huddled into my barn coat and did not turn around *grin*. Even the finest of soap does not remove my favorite smell off me sometimes.

Carol - heading for a shower and laughing
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 2/15/2004
Ok, Ed.. here's an idea.. buy the best-smelling, most expensive clothes soap and, while fully dressed, toss YOURSELF into the machine.. Voila! the clothes are clean, you're clean and if you hold onto Rufuz, HE'S clean! How's that sound? LOL ..(can you hear everyone out here sniffing themselves?). what a mind you have! hehe... katy xox.
Reviewed by Michael Charles Messineo 2/15/2004
Ed, Something stinks about this write. Did you use the cheap computer to write it? lol

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/15/2004
You are so!!

The worst smell to me are sweaty armpits rotten.....Jaysus they smell like rotten onions to me....and that smell are all around us in South leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.....YIKES!!

O' ya and rotten potatoes are also bad....not so familiiar with all the "Others" you mentioned!!

Thanks for the giggle!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Jared Troutman (Reader) 2/15/2004
I'm sorry to hear that. Scott said you smelled bad . . . really bad. And since Sally has a weak stomach now with her pregnancy, we'll have to postpone coming to see you . . . maybe forever.

Have a nice stinky life,


PS: Enjoyed your poem, though.

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.