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Ed Matlack

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by Ed Matlack
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 5,681

Discussing smells at 5 in the morning, man I must be desperate...?




Okay, all you housewives or wanna be’s out there,

What the hell is the difference between the expensive stuff,

Or just the inexpensive dollar store brands,

Besides the obvious,

They smell better if they are costly…


They don’t make the clothes smell any different, in the end,

I buy the expensive stuff, get less detergent, have to be on the lend,

Or buy the less costly stuff, have money left over to do the wash,

Never do I seem in the smaller stores having to bend,

The stuff is right there, in front of my nose, just having to sniff,

But not actually see it, I can sense it with the sniffer of a hound…


Soap on the other hand, used for the body primarily,

Is the same, smelling better the more costly,

But then again, did you smell the less costly stuff?

Pee you, & I do mean pee,

Be better off using your own, smells better than living alone,

Hard to believe that people actually use those low priced brands,

Those must be the folks I seem to get stuck in elevators with, phew!


Let us forget the usage of low priced deodorant, on top of using the

stinky soap,

At least they try, but who wants to be close to that, maybe a zoo animal at best,

Maybe like a crotch smells after a few days without a bath,

Please don’t ask how that smell I am familiar with? J


Guess we covered the worst, let us not get into anal smell,

Hell, my dinner is already regurgitating, can’t ya tell?

So for now we have dealt with all the smells I can possibly sell,

Let me now close and let you think about all the worst above…





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Reviewed by Carol Chapman (Reader) 2/15/2004
I made the mistake of reading this right after coming in from farm chores. I spit coffee all over the keyboard and roared. Once stood in line at a grocery store having left the barn and run over to grab corn oil for an ailing horse. Two people behind me started saying they smelled horses and sniffing. I huddled into my barn coat and did not turn around *grin*. Even the finest of soap does not remove my favorite smell off me sometimes.

Carol - heading for a shower and laughing
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 2/15/2004
Ok, Ed.. here's an idea.. buy the best-smelling, most expensive clothes soap and, while fully dressed, toss YOURSELF into the machine.. Voila! the clothes are clean, you're clean and if you hold onto Rufuz, HE'S clean! How's that sound? LOL ..(can you hear everyone out here sniffing themselves?). what a mind you have! hehe... katy xox.
Reviewed by Michael Charles Messineo 2/15/2004
Ed, Something stinks about this write. Did you use the cheap computer to write it? lol

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/15/2004
You are so!!

The worst smell to me are sweaty armpits rotten.....Jaysus they smell like rotten onions to me....and that smell are all around us in South leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.....YIKES!!

O' ya and rotten potatoes are also bad....not so familiiar with all the "Others" you mentioned!!

Thanks for the giggle!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Jared Troutman (Reader) 2/15/2004
I'm sorry to hear that. Scott said you smelled bad . . . really bad. And since Sally has a weak stomach now with her pregnancy, we'll have to postpone coming to see you . . . maybe forever.

Have a nice stinky life,


PS: Enjoyed your poem, though.

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