I keep going over these pages
Wondering how, on earth, we are at war.
War in body, mind, and spirit.
Yet, I keep going through these pages
At war with myself, my body,
my mind, and my spirit.
Which is worse?
Internal war or external war?
How do you compare?
Each day I think of the trials
The turmoil in which and through which
I cannot raise a child.
Might I first find the one with whom I will share this newborn?
Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next year.
Either way, will it be the right time?
Can I subject my baby, innocent, and pure
To the sickening horrors of war?
Do I want to act as if I condone this violence?
Hell no. I hate war. I hate it in here and I hate it over there.