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Katy L Walsvik

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Member Since: Aug, 2002

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Gardening For Idiots
by Katy L Walsvik

Thursday, March 04, 2004
Not rated by the Author.
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I planted an acorn,
Gave it water to soak.
It was right where the sun shines,
But it never grew an oak.

I poured my orange juice
All over the ground.
When I checked for some navels
Dry dirt was all I found.

Old coffee won't grow coffee beans.
Mrs. Butterworth's won't bring sap.
Should I have poured it in Vermont?
Should I plant the bottle WITH the cap?

Everyone is readying themselves for spring
With gardens that take all summer.
I'm sharing myself and my food with the earth.
But only I'M growing. What a bummer!

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Reviewed by Londis Carpenter 3/6/2004
Hey amazing poet woman. I just got back from vacation tonight. Sure was great finding out you left me with so much rhymes to keep me up giggling all night. This stuff is great. You never seem to wear out, and your poems are always so fresh and original.. I truely appreciate this one. Reminds me of the time I planted soybeans and not a single plant came up. (except the weeds, of course). :0)
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart 3/6/2004
Now this is quintessential Katydid! Of all your funny poems, this one has to be my favorite. You sure know how to cut a slice from the funny pie. My Mom loves gardening and she would love this poem.
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 3/6/2004
Hahaha, sweet Katy, I saw you got snow overnight! They actually had Medford on the Weather Channel! They got 5 inches of snow! :) Watch for robins, I'm finally shooing them off from Arizona. Tomorrow and next week we'll be in the 70s!! ;)
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 3/5/2004
Cleverly humorous and meaningful as well. Thank you, Katy. Love and peace. Regis
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 3/5/2004
Hahaha this is tooo cute....well my husband needs
to talk to you....our lawn is an alcoholic...LOL..
Yep...he feeds it beer.....puts it into the end
sprayer thing on the hose and feeds the lawn...and
I think he is totally nuts...and guess what...
You got it...green green lawn....he said he read that
somewhere in a book....well I did love this poem Katie..
as you can see I truly do relate to it....(((smiles)))
floria
Reviewed by Tami Ryan 3/5/2004
I knew I could count on you for a smile, Katy.
Hugs!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/5/2004
LOL

hilarious poem! Enjoyed~

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

LOL at Ted Sheridan's comments! LOL LOL LOL LOL
Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader) 3/5/2004
Try planting your feet in the dirt and see if you can grow corns.
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 3/4/2004
I have a green thumb I must say...
Try buying those little plants at a co-op to put
in a hole in the ground. Dirt must be loose
for the roots to grow. hee, hee...Love the write..
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 3/4/2004
Katy, my thumb was always black, hell, I probably couldnt even grow hair on my head, if I had to do it myself...LOL! I laughed at every line, something I needed today, thanks. OH if you are going to keep growing dont think you are coming on my boat, unless you bring that sexy bikini you have spoken of...LOL! Peace thru Laughter, Ed & Rufuz
Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers 3/4/2004
Oh Katy! I used to love to garden but now I can't do any of that...I never had a green thumb anyway..but I enjoyed getting out and acting like I did. I just love your humor! Lisa
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 3/4/2004
I am looking forward to helping my daughter with her garden this year. We agreed we will keep the tradition of a surprise garden, amoung the others. Basically everything ends up it there and its a surprise what grows :-) Wonderful garden write :-)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 3/4/2004
Fantastic poemm with a chuckle in every line and a couple of guffaws here and there for good measure. I just love this Katy, I'm saving it as we speak.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 3/4/2004
Oh Katy I love it! My mom was a green thumb, but I never
caught it;-) Best I ever did was a sweet potato plant;-) lol
Reviewed by Mark Mahoney 3/4/2004
I used to plant apple pips, seeds to you yanks, but being the impatient type time wasnt on my side so rather than wait for nature to do its bit, i'd rob them off my neighbour down the street, never tasted sweeter fruit in all my days, till the bollix caught me one day and locked me in the coalshed...unheard of these days, explaining to ones parents that you were doing something you shouldn't have been doing, hence your excuse for being late... i never did say why to those elder than me why i was missing for 6 hours that june, i never stole another apple from him though, so his drastic action in an innocent world at the time may have worked, either that or the fact i chopped his trees down one night with a chainsaw, done the trick.....a Lovely poem Katy, expressed in your unique style and thats one of the many traits we and i here find so endearing...take good care...Mark xx
Reviewed by Leysa Lowery 3/4/2004
This is too much fun! I used to try planting pennies ... that didn't work either!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 3/4/2004
Hehehehe...what a bummer.........lol!!

O' fuck you are so funny

I thought I might plant my husband and grow new men.......but that did not work either


Love Tinka
Reviewed by George Carroll 3/4/2004
A delightful write that gave me my first chuckle of the day.
Love and hugs
George
Reviewed by Leland Waldrip 3/4/2004
Tricky things, those gardens! I've been out climbing the fruit trees, pruning and trimming. Didn't realize how un-monkeyish I've become over the winter. Ha. Great poem, Katy.
Love ya!
Leland
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