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Jason T Goudie
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Slavs of the Shadow
If Only Real Money Could Talk
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The Shaking Doors
By Jason T Goudie
Last edited: Monday, February 23, 2009
Posted: Thursday, February 19, 2009
This short story was "not rated" by the Author.

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Just a little unpublished fiction. Ghost stories are always fun.

I was at work on a cold winters night. I worked as a night watchman in a local museum. The night shift was a lonely time of night for me because I was alone inside the old creepy building. The only things that surrounded me were my desk in the basement, and the above floors. Each floor had two sets of exhibits on either side of the floor. I would do my rounds every two hours. On this particular night, however, I was about to get a very harsh awakening.

My very first round was at midnight - some people and countries called it the witching hour - and I was about to begin. I called in to another museum that monitored our alarms and let them know I was about to conduct a patrol.

"Otis one to Otis two? Over?"

"This is Otis two. Go ahead."

I'm off to begin my fist round, so you can expect some motion detectors to go off," I said.

"Ten four, Otis one."

I began my walk to the main level and made my way over to the first exhibit. The space exhibit. Each etnryway was locked by two heavy doors. I unlocked the first two doors and entered the exhibit. As I entered, the door closed and locked automatically behind me. This of course as normal. I carefully scanned the area I was in. Then I took a several slow guarded steps forward. 

A big part of my job was to be very cautious. You never knew what to expect in a big dark place like this. Or any other building for that matter.  I have grown to respect the darkness and treated it as if it were my friend. This night, however, gave me a certain sense of forboding. I could not understand why. I got back on my two-way radio.

"Otis one to Otis two? Come in, please?"

"Go ahead," a man's voice answered.

"I have a question. Are my movements the only movements you scanned so far?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Don't know," I said quietly in to the radio. "Something just tells me I'm not alone tonight."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the walkie-talkie. Then the same man's voice replied. Nope, we've recieved no other alarms but we'll keep our ears open."

"Thanks," I said, placing my walkie-talkie back on my belt.

I cautiously moved forward again, my eyes continuing to scan around me. Trying hard to see behind solid exhibits in the shadows. I wondered why I felt so paranoid tonight. I thought to myself. I worked at this museum for two years now. I should be used to this shift adn the darkness. Then I spoke outloud.

"What the hell am I doing? I'm all worried over nothing. Like Otis two said, I'm all alone here."

Gathering up my courage I carried on my patrol and completed that exhibit with no further concern. I used my key to walk back out and into the light of the main level.

"Now, that wasn't so bad was it?" I asked myself.

I then made my way to the opposite side of the floor where the mining exhibit was.I unlocked the doors and walked in, letting the door close mehind me.  This exhibit was always a little bit darker than the space Exhibit.

"I wonder why it's so dark in here. Even for myself, I can hardly believe I still cannot find the light switch.  Anyway, no time to dawdle. I'd better get on with my round."

So I began walking and paying attention to my surroundings.

I barely took seven steps away from the closed entry door and suddenly, I heard something. I stopped moving but continued to face ahead.  It souded very close but was barely audible at first. The sound, however, quickly grew louder. The hair on the back of my neck rose up as I very slowly turned back towards the entry door.

"Oh my God," I whispered as I stared at the shaking doors.

As each second ticked by, I whitnesed the doors shaking harder and harder. I wondered what was on the other side of those doors that wanted in at me so badly, but I could not move. I could not speak as I tried to. I was frozen in fear.

Then suddenly it stopped. For a brief moment I waited to act and finally I made my move and charged the heavy doors. Reaching them in seconds I swung them open, ready to defend myself, but...there was no one there. I looked all around from left to right and even up and down...I was alone.

"Otis one to Otis two?"

"Go ahead, Otis one."

"Are you sure there is no one else in this building but me?"

another brief pause, then the man's voice replied.

"Absolutely spositive."

I simply stood there in shock. 

 

The end. Please let me know what you think. Don't be shy.

 

 


 

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Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 5/20/2009
Jason, intriguing story. It certainly kept me on the edge of my seat. I was just a bit disappointed with the ending as I was expecting a twist to the story, but I think it could easily be expounded upon. I've read that every word should count and should bring your story forward...there are some that could be exposed of, i.e.

"As each second ticked by, I witnessed the doors shaking harder and harder. I wondered what was on the other side of those doors that wanted in at me so badly, but I could not move. I could not speak as I tried to. I was frozen in fear."

could read:

Seconds ticked by. The doors shook harder. I could not move, I could not speak. Whatever was on the other side wanted in badly and I was frozen in fear.

I hope this has been of some assistance as it is my intention to be helpful, not hurtful. I enjoyed the read ... it gave me a bit of the intended chill :) ~ Best, Elizabeth

Reviewed by Jason Goudie 2/20/2009
It's not one of my greater works but at least it gives people an idea as to how I write.



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