Acceptance By Ameasha Brown
Monday, March 09, 2009
Not rated by the Author.
This is a story about being who you are, not being who others want you to be. It's also about unconditional love.
Looking at the world through my eyes wasn’t very encouraging. At fifteen I thought every day was dramatic. I had acne, I was short in stature, hadn’t started shaving yet and girls scared me to death. I always seem to stutter when I had to talk to a girl and I was glad that wasn’t too often. Puberty sucked and the only one I could talk to was my sister Glenn. I didn’t consider her as a girl, just my older sister by six years, who I thought knew all the answers. I’d come home from school feeling really bummed out and Glenn would know right away that I had had a bad day.
She’d tell me things like, ‘ be yourself,’ ‘ be true to yourself,’ ‘ don’t be a follower ’,‘ be happy with yourself. ’ Then she would tossle my hair and race me to the washroom to wash up for dinner. She always made me smile and forget for a while. I’d wish she went to school with me so I could feel a bit more comfortable or that I was finished school and we could hang out together. Then a reality check would hit me and I would work up the gumsion to go to school the next day.
Mom and Dad tried to help, but it wasn’t the same. Then one day I started hearing harsh whispered voices of my Mom and Dad arguing, which was very unsettling, because Mom and Dad didn’t argue. At least they didn’t when Glenn and I were around. I would enter the room and the tension could be cut with a knive. Several months passed by and life at home was strained to say the least. Glenn wasn’t home much anymore and I missed our time together. I would ask where she was and they would just say out.
Then one Saturday afternoon I heard my Father say, “ She can’t have that operation! ” Then Mom said, “ She is going to have it. ” I just knew they were talking about Glenn and when I entered the kitchen I asked if she was sick. Both my parents had shocked looks on their faces and they asked me how much I had heard. I told them not much and they said not to worry about it. Dad went out to the garage and Mom started dinner. That was so not like my parents. Something was really bothering them and it had to do with Glenn. They left me totally out there in the dark and I was scared. Mom set the table with an extra place at the table. I asked who was comimg and they told me Glenn. I was so excited and I had so much to tell her. Then Mom said that we were going to have a family discussion after dinner. Glenn arrived and she gave me a big hug and tossled my hair, thenwe sat down to dinner. Conversation was light and no one looked at each other, which I felt was very strange.
When dinner was over Mom cleared the table, then we all sat in the frontroom for our family talk. Glenn asked if I had been told anything and both my parents shooked their heads no. Glenn said I had to be told and that she would tell me. I thought the world was ending. Glenn told me that she was a homosexual and she was going to have an operation so she could be a he.
I was shocked yes, but I understood. What I didn't understand was the way my parents had handled it. I looked at my parents and said to Glenn, " Be true to yourself."