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D. P. Roseberry

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Breaking Laws
By D. P. Roseberry
Sunday, August 03, 2003

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There's a story behind the story here! I was asked to write a short-short story for a contest for one of my day-job associate's business. I rattled this out over a lunch break. The reason I'm putting it here is because I actually won a prize for it! But I can't tell you until the end of the story what the prize is. So read to see what I won!

Breaking Laws


It was a dark and stormy night.  (It truly was!)  The thunder rumbled and sleet fell on the roof with the clicking sound of a thousand tiny monsters.  Still, she slipped into the living room as quietly as she could, light and noise making her jump at each flash and boom of the weather.  Not a fit night for woman nor beast.


Her ears strained beyond the storm sounds for any waking inhabitants of the house -- there were many.  Again she wondered if this lawless trek into the night was right.  What if she were caught?!  How could she explain the need to take another's priceless property?  What had she become, stalking a family like a cat burglar, stealing their blind faith in their safe domain? 


She could not worry about that now.  Time for thinking and worry was gone.  She needed to act.


Moving forward, she spotted the night light in the kitchen and the valued item on the counter.  Oh, these people were so ignorant of the real world, leaving their precious belongings scattered about for anyone with true need to slip in and take!  She carefully went to the counter, pulling a knife from its rack as she slipped closer -- one had to have a knife.  The prize sat stately on the counter, along with a wallet, some car keys, and his expensive sunglasses.  She slid them aside to reach for it.


Suddenly, the lights came on -- brilliance slapping her with fear!


"Ahhh!" she screamed out over the storm, holding the knife out in front of her.


"What are you doing in this kitchen?" he demanded in a voice that was barely audible over the chittering sleet.


"I . . . I . . . I . . ." she stammered.


"You're breaking the law."  His tone was flat.  His eyes were harsh.


"No," she answered, still waving the knife.  "I'm not.  I swear."


"It's my pie and I said one small piece a day," he said with a pout.  "Eating 10 small pieces in a day just because they are cut in small slivers is breaking the law of the pie."  He shook his head.  "What a way to treat your husband."


"But I can't help it," she whined, the knife lowering towards the pie.  "It’s Browns apple caramel pie.  NO one can eat one small piece.  NO ONE!!"


"Well," he said, grabbing a plate from the drain board.  "Some laws are meant to be broken, I guess."


The End.


Ok -- Now for what I won!  But you already know, don't you?  I won a Browns Orchard Apple Caramel pie and a $5. gift certificate for other goodies! This pie from this place is my addiction.   If you are ANY where near Browns Orchards in Logansville, PA  (Eight miles south of York, PA on Old Susquehanna Trail (PA Rt. 216) or take I-83 to Exit 3 West to Loganville.) you owe it to yourself to stop buy and get one of these pies!  Tell them I sent you -- and if they don't know what you're talking about (shrug), oh well.  The pies are great!



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Reviewed by Shirley Cheng 9/1/2004
LOL! I like the twist and the ending! Yummy!
Reviewed by Doug Boren 8/3/2003
Dinah, you had me going there for a while.The suspense and description was terrific. The knife is always a sinister and forboding object. When the wallet and keys were swept aside for the "prize", I thought what the heck is she after?

A humorous twist for a funny ending. You got me wanting a slice....

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