Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Matthew Miller, iRichard Mason, iJack Harney, iFumiko Takahashi, iRichard Sharp, iClaire Power Murphy, HonDL, iJoe, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

TJ Perkins

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 31 Titles
· 24 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Sep, 2002

TJ Perkins, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
by Terry Vinson

A remote, snowed-in rehab facility for superheroes gone bad. A fiery plane crash. A deadly, bloodthirsty entity on a single-minded mission of mass slaughter. Welcome to T..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Books by TJ Perkins
The Adventures of Liz Bond, The Incident with the Tag
By TJ Perkins
Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by TJ Perkins
· Shadow's Daughter: Flight of the Fox
· The Midnight Watch
· The Crystal Llama
· The Dairy Barn
· The Adventures of Liz Bond, The Alien Invader
           >> View all 6

Liz is a girl with a HUGE imagination.

Liz snuggled into her new pillow, but that crinkly sound was keeping her awake. Frustrated, she pulled something off the edge of the pillow and laid it on her night stand. "Liz!" Her mother's voice jolted her from a deep sleep "Get up. Time for school." "Coming," she called back. She rushed around her room, gathering clothes to wear, when she noticed the paper she had torn off the pillow. "What's this?" She questioned as she read the label, "Under penalty of law this tag not to be removed." Oh, no, she thought. I wonder if I'll get into trouble. Nah, that's silly. As Liz skipped down the sidewalk to Melissa's house she heard the sound of police sirens and men shouting. "They're after me," she whispered to herself, "I knew I'd get into trouble." She crouched down low, scooted next to a bush, and raised her watch close to her mouth. "I must contact HQ," she said, turning a small dial on her watch. "The enemy is closing in, Sir. Yes, they found out quickly and are searching for me as we speak. Liz Bond, out." Liz leaped over the bush and army-crawled to a tree in Melissa's yard. Melissa came outside to find Liz hiding behind the tree. "What are you doing now, Liz?" Melissa said in a tight, annoyed voice. "Hey, Melissa," Liz said, with a casual smile while trying to act natural. "Come on, let's get going. I don't want to be late for school." Liz urged Melissa to walk faster, but the sound of approaching police cars captured their attention. "I wonder what's going on?" Melissa asked. The girls couldn't see the commotion because of a tall row of hedges that surrounded the house. Liz knew that the police were gathering to track her down. She panicked and raced ahead of Melissa. "Where are you going?" Melissa shouted. "I'll explain later," Liz called back. Liz ran several blocks, dive-rolled over several low hedges, came up on her feet and scrambled up a tree. From her perch, she watched the police. At that moment, a police cruiser came to a stop right under Liz's tree. Silently she dropped to the ground and sneaked behind the car. School was only one block away, but she would make her approach from a different angle. She sprinted across the street. Crouching behind parked cars, she kept moving as the police car continued up the street. Upon her approach, she saw several police cars parked in front of the school. "Oh, no," Liz's voice was shaky and her heart skipped a beat, "they're sniffing me out." She weaved in and out of a row of trees, that lined the side entrance to the school, made her way to the basement and tip-toed up the stairs. In the hallway she saw the principal talking to the police. "Principal Kermit is in on their plans," she muttered into her watch. She scribbled a note to Melissa on a scrap of paper and stuck it to the front of her locker. "Diversion AA23 commencing," she told her watch. She inched beside a row of lockers and pulled the fire alarm. It was total chaos in the halls as the kids cheered for the fire drill. Liz flowed in with her class but she couldn't get to Melissa. She did, however, see Melissa go past her locker, snatch up the note and read it. Once everyone was outside, Liz caught up with her. "I'm in big trouble," Liz blurted out, "I tore a tag off my pillow and the police are after me." "All this from tearing a tag off a pillow!" Melissa demanded. Liz nodded. "But the teacher said the police are here for public safety day," Melissa protested. "It's a scam, a cover up," Liz said convincingly. "You'd better get out of here," Melissa said. Liz broke from the crowd and dashed across the playground. "Hey!" Principal Kermit shouted, "Stop her!" The game was up, her cover was blown. Several policemen intercepted her, but Liz lead them on a merry chase all over the school grounds. At last she was tackled and escorted back to school. Liz held her head high. She stood before the vile Von Kermit awaiting torture, but the fate of the country was at stake. What if this happened to everyone who tore tags off pillows? No one would be safe. "Liz," Principal Kermit's voice brought Liz back to reality, "I want to know what's going on with you right now." He loomed over her, peering over his glasses. No, she couldn't break, not Liz Bond, not after all she'd been through. Suddenly the tears welled up in her eyes, she fell to her knees clutching Principal Kermit's pant leg. "I didn't mean to tear the tag off my pillow," she wailed, "it was a mistake." "What?" Principal Kermit asked. Liz took the tag from her pocket and handed it to him. "Please read this out loud," Principal Kermit requested, handing the tag back to Liz. "Under penalty of law this tag not to be removed," she read. In smaller words under that it continued, "Except by the customer." Liz's mouth hung open. "If you weren't an honor roll student I'd recommend counseling and a therapist," Principal Kermit said quietly. "Now go to class." Liz walked happily to her classroom. "Mission accomplished HQ," she said into her watch. 

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
3. Rose is dead
4. A Man and His Dog
5. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
6. A Reluctant Father Christmas
7. Nothing to Worry About, by Owen Thomas
8. Age Retirement What it means to me
9. Armina, the cat who invented canned dog-fo
10. Looking For Mr. Golfball

Bingo and Bullets - Book One: The Borzelliero Bunch by Mark Sutton

Crabley-on-Sea is a town under siege... from its own 'killer crinklies'.....  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's s..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.