Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Elizabeth Weeks-Rowe, iJeanne Miller, iRoger Vizi, iStephen Lodge, iSusan Lindsley, iP Lewis, iPhillip Rice, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

John W Townsend

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 469 Titles
· 498 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: May, 2009

John W Townsend, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
La Llorona (The Wailing Woman)
by Leslie Garcia

Evil walks the banks of the Rio Grande. Children are being sacrificed in the dark waters.....  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Books by John W Townsend
By John W Townsend
Saturday, July 04, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by John W Townsend
· Mr. Jawbreaker
· The Last Train Home
           >> View all 33

Jim Bolton was amazed when a hole started to appear in his backyard. It seemed deep as he could not hear anything when he threw something down, it did not hit any bottom. Then he became concerned when it grew in size.

Jim Bolton's backyard is about 40 foot long by about 30 feet wide. It was part covered in paving stones with a small perimeter set as a garden. A few garden chairs and a table, some pot plants, all fairly ordinary.



Then one day last June that all changed, Where a paving stone was there appeared a hole. It was as square as the paving stone, and the paving stone was no where to be seen, just a deep hole that seemed bottomless, at least if a stone was thrown in it never seemed to bottom out.



His dog Flash, a Golden Retriever, peared nervously over the edge, then backed well away, when a few loud barks into the hole only created an echo.



Jim thought about filling the hole in, then forgot the idea when he tied a wieght to the end of a 60 foot length of twine and lowered it into the hole, without reaching a bottom.



As a temporary measure he covered the hole with a large sheet of plyboard, and phoned a friend for advice.



The next day, Jim was terrified. The hole had now expanded into an area that had swallowed up 6 paving stones, about 9 meters square. In fear he stared into the blackness of the hole wondering why it was here, and where it was leading too.



Flash his dog, refused to go into the backyard, but peered out of an upper window of the house.



For reasons best known to Jim, he leaned over the edge of the hole and shouted out, "Hello, anyone down there?"



You can imagine his surprise when a reply came back deep from within the blackness of the hole. "Why hello there, who would it be that I am talking to?" Jim stared in disbelief and nervously replied, "Jim Bolton, thats my name, and is this your hole?"



The voice from within the hole then responded in a fairly stern manner, "Well nice to speak to you Jim, but this hole is nothing to do with me, in fact I was going to ask you if it is yours." Jim then replied as he leaned over the edge. "I did not mean it to sound  as if I was angry, but this is getting to be a big hole, I am worried." Then Jim continued by asking, "If it is not a rude question, what are you doing down there?"



There was a pause and some stones came flying out of the hole into the air. Then the voice responded, "I nearly slipped then, I must stand back. I am not in the hole you are, I am in my back garden looking into this hole." Jim then politely responded, "I am sorry, I am confused, all I can see is a deep black hole, and hear your voice, where are you?" The voice then replied, "I am Andrew Trehurn and I live in Saltash Devon, where are you?" Jim's mouth hung open he knew Saltash, its in the UK, so he replied, "What are you talking about, thats in the UK, my backyard is in Cape Charles Virginia USA, how can you be that far away?"



The voice then replied, "That has shocked me, are you saying you are thousands of miles away and it sounds like your here down this hole?" It was at this point that another voice was heard, a broad Irish accent, shouting at the top of its voice. "Would you all be minding and giving a bit of a hush, I would like to explain." Jim was taken aback and replied, "Who then are you?" The Irish voice then appologetically responded by saying, "It was a bad idea, I do appologies, I thought that if I dug a deep hole in my garden I might be able to grow more potatoes, but the hole caved in, I managed to scramble up my ladder and escape, I do appologies for the inconvience, I will be filling in the hole soon, I have several lorries coming with soil, The voice in Saltash then called out, "Sir where are you?" , to which the Irish voice called back "Killarny Ireland to be sure. Noel Murphy you will be talking to."



After a moment of everyone contemplating what on Earth had happened, Jim then called back to the Irish voice, "But I do not understand, I am In The Usa, Andrew is in Devon, and you are in Ireland?"



It was then that the irishman Noel  replied, "I must dash the lorries with the soil are just arriving."



They could hear a lot of noise then a low rumbling, Jim suddenly saw his hole filling up from the bottom upward. Andrew saw exactly the same, and Noel was well pleased that his hole was now filled in, and gave not a thought to the voices he had been talking to.



Jim and Andrew although now unable to talk to each other both, were now both messmerized at the holes now filled and all that had gone on.



No one will believe them, not that they believe themselves, or the Irishman called Noel.


all a bit of a tall story if you ask me.






Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 7/10/2009
Weird,i.e. Although There Are Many REAL Holes Opening Up All Over Evil Planet Earth...


Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
3. Poetic Injustice
4. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
5. The DMV Funnies
6. Dealing With The Children. ...
7. A Man and His Dog
8. A Reluctant Father Christmas
9. Duped-Net: Undercover Blues
10. Rose is dead

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon: a cure for short attention spans..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking by Mark Sutton

'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking' is a strange, humorous tale about Jeremy Felliwell, a sociopath, loner, pervert, stalker and poet. Jeremy's already chaotic existence deteriora..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.