AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  A. Colin Wright, iJill Eisnaugle, iS Zachary, iDavid Page, iFrank Stephenson, iHugh McCracken, iDavid Hearne, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

John W Townsend

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 469 Titles
· 498 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2009

John W Townsend, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Passports to Hell
by Terry Vinson

Next stop: the fiery pits via a collection of unrelenting terror tales that explore the unspeakable horrors of eternal damnation.....  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Books by John W Townsend
ALWAYS READ THE LABEL
By John W Townsend
Sunday, July 19, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by John W Townsend
· GEORGUS UNTUMPUS
· THERE'S A HOLE IN THE GROUND
· COSMIC MIRRORS
· GREENS SUPERSTORE
· THE MUFFIN GIRL
· Mr. Jawbreaker
· ERNST THAKELWAITES 15 MINUTES of FAME
           >> View all 33


The excitement of recieving a parcel can overide the fact that is the parcel really for you.

For Arty Shore it was a surprise when the the door bell rang and a large package was sitting on the doorstep. He looked surprised as he waved the delivery driver a cheery wave as the driver called across, "You nearly didnt get Mr.Shore, I left my glasses at home, your nieghbour told me you lived here." With that he was gone. 

It was a hefty package but he managed to carry it into the lounge. In his excitement he did not look at the two labels that were attached, one would have told him the driver had delivered it to the wrong place, it was intended to go to The Party Store, and the other said 'DO NOT REMOVE SECURE CLIPS UNTIL IN AN OPEN AREA.'

Well Arty was an impatient man who was now tearing through the packaging to reveal a plastic container with four clips around the sides. Still excited he hurried to undo the clips, first one, then two, then the third, and finally the fourth clip.

Well it was at the moment that Arty lept backwards as the lid was flung into the air, while from inside the container a huge hissing sound was heard as several large extrusions of rubbery material started to pop out and appear to be inflating. "Oh my what of earth is it?" Arty declared as he started to back away, heading towards the kitchen.

It was just three minutes and the object was now touching the ceiling, which was begining to creak and crack under the expanding objects strain. Soon the ceiling started to give way as the object pushed its way threw the ceiling into the bedrooms above. Arty ran to the garden as plaster was falling everywhere.

His hands to his face he stared in horror as he watched the roof of his house suddenly burst with tiles flying all over the place, and roofing timbers falling to the ground. "Help, Help!" he shouted as friends appeared from all directions looking in astonishment at what was emerging through Artys roof. A huge blow up doll with big rich ruby lips and extended arms swaying in the breeze. One friend exclaimed aloud, "Arty you should be ashamed of yourself!" Arty strongly denied owning the giant blow up doll. It was at this point that the delivery driver returned, and in the absence of his glasses missed the object protruding through Arty Shores roof. He saw Arty to the rear of the house and called out to him, "Oh Mr.Shore I am so sorry that package I delivered it was a mistake, can I have it back, it was for The Part Store down the road, I am sorry."

Arty looked at him, then looked up at the giant swaying blow up doll. Then he surveyed all the destruction, "My oh my, it was not for me you say?" 

 

       Web Site: papabears-publishing

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!



Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
3. Rose is dead
4. A Man and His Dog
5. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
6. A Reluctant Father Christmas
7. Nothing to Worry About, by Owen Thomas
8. Age Retirement What it means to me
9. Armina, the cat who invented canned dog-fo
10. Looking For Mr. Golfball

Idiots and Children by Diana Estill

Family and observational humor from award-winning author Diana Estill...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part III is adult satirical literature that parodies thirteen famous short stories...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.