Somebody does not understand my praise because you do not know
where Yahweh, the God who redeems has brought me from. Recently
He reminded me that even in the womb of my mother He covered and
protected me. Tears streamed down my face as the scenes of my life
were unfolding. Just before birth, something......it looked like a creature
to my mother. She was horrified for it seemed to be alive and swimming
around in the basin. By the time I made my entrance, my mother was even
more distressed. For  I was fuming at the mouth, and my eyes were rolling
over. What a sight ! It was just too much for my mother, and I was sent to
my grandmother, who was a praying mother. The seizures were severe, and
with each episode. It was said that I would not survive. However, Yahweh
healed me ! My grandmother died when I was just a little girl, what a great
loss. The curtains of my life reminded me of how withdrawn I became even
from my own mother, who was unwed at the time; and not having no daddy
to call my own. I am sure my mother loved me, yet the curtains revealed that
this seed was left to grow......grew and I was convinced that my parents did
not love me. My mother married, and oh I learned the importance of having
a daddy to call my own. Things did not work out so well though. My mother
suffered much and at the age of forty-seven she died. I discovered she really
did love me. She just could not express it to me; and oh how I loved her too.
My daddy. I love him and discovered I could not express it to him either. What
a mess ! Misunderstood, depressed, and oppressed the curtains reveal me being
steeped in generational curses, and filled with unforgiveness in my heart. For
even though I was saying with my lips I loved my mother and daddy. The curtains
revealed that, I longed for my mother to hold me, and tell me she loved me. What
a revelation. My daddy whom I love but there was so much unforgiveness lodged
in my heart for not being able to communicate with him. Yes. I was a complete mess.
From a young child, the pain seemed to much to bear; and I decided to end my
own life by eating poison. I awakened early the next morning, and recall being very
angry with God for allowing me to be alive ! Went outside and remembering asking
God. " Why did You allow me to live ? I do not want to live.," God did not answer.
I then grew even more withdrawn, and began to hate myself. Many times I would
look in the mirror and say to myself. " I hate you, I hate you. " I did not talk to any
one, and always had an angry look on my face, people were afraid to approach me.
The boys especially were afraid to approach me, which was good for I hated all boys,
and did not want to ever get married. I actually wanted to become a nun. Yet God had
another plan, and at the age of sixteen at my high school student christian movement I
confessed Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour ; and that changed the course of my whole l
life. I tell you God has a plan for my life. He lead me in the path of a wonderful man, who
became my husband. A christian and devoted man of God. Oh Hallelujah ! What I did not
know was that my troubles and trials was really just beginning after we married; and what
I was born into was preparation for where God was taking me. For what I had already walked
through was to bring me to see from a new perspective ! Incurring turbulence in my marriage,
experiencing sickness and disease. Attempting to commit suicide. Even losing my mind
momentarily. Feeling always like my husband did not love me. No matter how hard he tried
to convince me of his love. ( The seed that was planted as child and was left to grow, had
now followed me into my marriage relationship. ) Still I felt so unloved by him. We argued
so much about the most silly things. When he would say A I would say B. The curtains are
revealing how God Himself divinely intervened. He took me by the hand during one of the
worst times of my life. (He put me in a straight jacket ) and led me to a place. Told me to
get on my knees and pray. As I knelt, sleep was hitting me heavily......was mumbling. I did
not know how to pray. I said....." Father, I do not know how to pray, and I am sleepy. I am
going back to bed. " As I turned to get off my knees, I heard...." Don't go ! Stay with Me !"
Instantly something happened. His voice was so comforting, I reached for Him and looked
all over the room for Him. The room at 2am in the morning was brighter than the noon day
hour. Immediately, I turned on my knees to the chair where I was kneeling; only this time. It
was not me praying. The Holy Spirit was praying. My life took on purpose. I now understood
that God really did have a plan and a purpose.

The sickness and suffering of my children was not in vain. My oldest son had grown gravely
ill and was diagnosed with meningitis, and had to under go a spinal tap which left him deformed.
He suffered from the asthma and was sick almost daily. My oldest daughter suffered a deformity
in one of her legs; and had to wear special shoes hooked up to a girdle around her waist, with
steel strapped to her legs. My youngest son suffered severe seizures. One Sunday morning after
prayer. He collapsed and lay lifeless on the bed losing what looked like so much of his bodily
fluids. The curtains reveal how through faith. I declared that he was not dead. Took up his lifeless
body, and took him into his play area. Then laying him on his favorite blue couch. Immediately I
began to weep and wail as I looked at my youngest son.....He was not there (His eyes were glassy)
I petitioned God to heal and deliver him. Weeping and walking the floor for hours. Then it happened!
My son regained consciousness and was healed, and delivered. My husband, and his siblings all
gathered around hugging him and giving God thanks ! My oldest son was healed of meningitis and his
deformity, and the asthma. My oldest daughter's leg was healed too. She did not have to wear that
brace and specially made shoes anymore. My youngest daughter, who was diagnosed with having
cerebral palsy, and told that she would never walk or talk. She is walking and talking. Doing things
which was told she could not do. God is healing her gradually ! It is a process. The curtains reveal.
The sickness and marital problems, and turbulence was all for the glory of God. For you see as the
curtains unfolds. The sickness that came to cause my demise is working to bring glory and honor to
God. My marriage turbulence has equipped my husband and I to sharpen each other. Somebody
does not understand my praise ! They buried me and left me for dead. But God has placed a powerful
gift in my hand, and with it I began to work the dirt which was black, was being transformed into white
quarry. Suddenly I could see the light  up out of the pit of darkness and despair. Abba Father has
rescued me. Oh Hallelujah ! Now today. I stand by my husband's side with our children. Yes. Every
child was challenged and suffered sickness, and physical challenges. Today. The oldest son and the
youngest son are now married. I have gained two more beautiful daughters. The oldest daughter has
graduated from college with her degree. The youngest daughter is walking and talking. We are seeing
the gifts that God has given her manifesting in her life !

I have come to understand first hand. I was saved yet not delivered. The beauty of this story is, Abba
Father is real, and it is His perfect will for you to be made completely whole. Many things, be it sickness,
negative trends, addictions, generational curses, and broken marriages, you name it. These all can be
a cry for help ! For there is a cry from within that says. " Help me. I do not want to live this way anymore."
Be sensitive to each person you may cross paths with. Don't be quick to pass judgement on them, or
get angry with them because of what others have said about them. The next time you see a drug addict,
a drunkard, a prostitute, or someone who is homeless. You do not know there story ! Stop for a
moment take a second look in their eyes. If you would take the time to look. You will see someone who
is crying out for help ! There are persons who have suffered broken marriages. They are crying out for
help ! There are so many who have been molested and raped. Far too many children have been robbed
of their innocence . There is a cry for help ! A cry for help is ringing out from every child who has been

abandoned, despised, and rejected by and in some cases both mother and father. There is a cry for help,

help me ! Help me ! Yet for far too many no help ever comes ! I just stopped by to tell you. Abba

Father has heard your cry for help, and He is stepping into your situations and circumstances ! He did

it for me ! Now He will do it for you ! Somebody who does not understand my praise now knows my

story. Still there maybe many who will never understand why I praise and worship in such a way, and

that is okay ! The question is though. Can you hear it ? Hear what, you may ask ? A resounding urgent

cry for help ! Will you help those whom you cross paths with almost on a daily basis ? Pause and

calmly think about this; and may Yahweh, the God who has redeemed you, empower you to change

the course of someone's life, who is crying out for help ! Be encouraged and strengthened in His word !

            Somebody does not understand my praise because you do not know

where Yahweh, the God who redeems has brought me from. Recently

He reminded me that even in the womb of my mother He covered and

protected me. Tears streamed down my face as the scenes of my life

were unfolding. Just before birth, something......it looked like a creature

to my mother. She was horrified for it seemed to be alive and swimming

around in the basin. By the time I made my entrance, my mother was even

more distressed. For  I was fuming at the mouth, and my eyes were rolling

over. What a sight ! It was just too much for my mother, and I was sent to

my grandmother, who was a praying mother. The seizures were severe, and

with each episode. It was said that I would not survive. However, Yahweh

healed me ! My grandmother died when I was just a little girl, what a great

loss. The curtains of my life reminded me of how withdrawn I became even

from my own mother, who was unwed at the time; and not having no daddy

to call my own. I am sure my mother loved me, yet the curtains revealed that

this seed was left to grow......grew and I was convinced that my parents did

not love me. My mother married, and oh I learned the importance of having

a daddy to call my own. Things did not work out so well though. My mother

suffered much and at the age of forty-seven she died. I discovered she really

did love me. She just could not express it to me; and oh how I loved her too.

My daddy. I love him and discovered I could not express it to him either. What

a mess ! Misunderstood, depressed, and oppressed the curtains reveal me being

steeped in generational curses, and filled with unforgiveness in my heart. For

even though I was saying with my lips I loved my mother and daddy. The curtains

revealed that, I longed for my mother to hold me, and tell me she loved me. What

a revelation. My daddy whom I love but there was so much unforgiveness lodged

in my heart for not being able to communicate with him. Yes. I was a complete mess.

From a young child, the pain seemed to much to bear; and I decided to end my

own life by eating poison. I awakened early the next morning, and recall being very

angry with God for allowing me to be alive ! Went outside and remembering asking

God. " Why did You allow me to live ? I do not want to live.," God did not answer.

I then grew even more withdrawn, and began to hate myself. Many times I would

look in the mirror and say to myself. " I hate you, I hate you. " I did not talk to any

one, and always had an angry look on my face, people were afraid to approach me.

The boys especially were afraid to approach me, which was good for I hated all boys,

and did not want to ever get married. I actually wanted to become a nun. Yet God had

another plan, and at the age of sixteen at my high school student christian movement I

confessed Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour ; and that changed the course of my whole l

life. I tell you God has a plan for my life. He lead me in the path of a wonderful man, who

became my husband. A christian and devoted man of God. Oh Hallelujah ! What I did not

know was that my troubles and trials was really just beginning after we married; and what

I was born into was preparation for where God was taking me. For what I had already walked

through was to bring me to see from a new perspective ! Incurring turbulence in my marriage,

experiencing sickness and disease. Attempting to commit suicide. Even losing my mind

momentarily. Feeling always like my husband did not love me. No matter how hard he tried

to convince me of his love. ( The seed that was planted as child and was left to grow, had

now followed me into my marriage relationship. ) Still I felt so unloved by him. We argued

so much about the most silly things. When he would say A I would say B. The curtains are

revealing how God Himself divinely intervened. He took me by the hand during one of the

worst times of my life. (He put me in a straight jacket ) and led me to a place. Told me to

get on my knees and pray. As I knelt, sleep was hitting me heavily......was mumbling. I did

not know how to pray. I said....." Father, I do not know how to pray, and I am sleepy. I am

going back to bed. " As I turned to get off my knees, I heard...." Don't go ! Stay with Me !"

Instantly something happened. His voice was so comforting, I reached for Him and looked

all over the room for Him. The room at 2am in the morning was brighter than the noon day

hour. Immediately, I turned on my knees to the chair where I was kneeling; only this time. It

was not me praying. The Holy Spirit was praying. My life took on purpose. I now understood

that God really did have a plan and a purpose.

The sickness and suffering of my children was not in vain. My oldest son had grown gravely

ill and was diagnosed with meningitis, and had to under go a spinal tap which left him deformed.

He suffered from the asthma and was sick almost daily. My oldest daughter suffered a deformity

in one of her legs; and had to wear special shoes hooked up to a girdle around her waist, with

steel strapped to her legs. My youngest son suffered severe seizures. One Sunday morning after

prayer. He collapsed and lay lifeless on the bed losing what looked like so much of his bodily

fluids. The curtains reveal how through faith. I declared that he was not dead. Took up his lifeless

body, and took him into his play area. Then laying him on his favorite blue couch. Immediately I

began to weep and wail as I looked at my youngest son.....He was not there (His eyes were glassy)

I petitioned God to heal and deliver him. Weeping and walking the floor for hours. Then it happened!

My son regained consciousness and was healed, and delivered. My husband, and his siblings all

gathered around hugging him and giving God thanks ! My oldest son was healed of meningitis and his

deformity, and the asthma. My oldest daughter's leg was healed too. She did not have to wear that

brace and specially made shoes anymore. My youngest daughter, who was diagnosed with having

cerebral palsy, and told that she would never walk or talk. She is walking and talking. Doing things

which was told she could not do. God is healing her gradually ! It is a process. The curtains reveal.

The sickness and marital problems, and turbulence was all for the glory of God. For you see as the

curtains unfolds. The sickness that came to cause my demise is working to bring glory and honor to

God. My marriage turbulence has equipped my husband and I to sharpen each other. Somebody

does not understand my praise ! They buried me and left me for dead. But God has placed a powerful

gift in my hand, and with it I began to work the dirt which was black, was being transformed into white

quarry. Suddenly I could see the light  up out of the pit of darkness and despair. Abba Father has

rescued me. Oh Hallelujah ! Now today. I stand by my husband's side with our children. Yes. Every

child was challenged and suffered sickness, and physical challenges. Today. The oldest son and the

youngest son are now married. I have gained two more beautiful daughters. The oldest daughter has

graduated from college with her degree. The youngest daughter is walking and talking. We are seeing

the gifts that God has given her manifesting in her life !

I have come to understand first hand. I was saved yet not delivered. The beauty of this story is, Abba

Father is real, and it is His perfect will for you to be made completely whole. Many things, be it sickness,

negative trends, addictions, generational curses, and broken marriages, you name it. These all can be

a cry for help ! For there is a cry from within that says. " Help me. I do not want to live this way anymore."

Be sensitive to each person you may cross paths with. Don't be quick to pass judgement on them, or

get angry with them because of what others have said about them. The next time you see a drug addict,

a drunkard, a prostitute, or someone who is homeless. You do not know there story ! Stop for a

moment take a second look in their eyes. If you would take the time to look. You will see someone who

is crying out for help ! There are persons who have suffered broken marriages. They are crying out for

help ! There are so many who have been molested and raped. Far too many children have been robbed

of their innocence . There is a cry for help ! A cry for help is ringing out from every child who has been

abandoned, despised, and rejected by and in some cases both mother and father. There is a cry for help,

help me ! Help me ! Yet for far too many no help ever comes ! I just stopped by to tell you. Abba

Father has heard your cry for help, and He is stepping into your situations and circumstances ! He did

it for me ! Now He will do it for you ! Somebody who does not understand my praise now knows my

story. Still there maybe many who will never understand why I praise and worship in such a way, and

that is okay ! The question is though. Can you hear it ? Hear what, you may ask ? A resounding urgent

cry for help ! Will you help those whom you cross paths with almost on a daily basis ? Pause and

calmly think about this; and may Yahweh, the God who has redeemed you, empower you to change

the course of someone's life, who is crying out for help ! Be encouraged and strengthened in His word !