Mark G Melvin
A Deranged Book
Published by Lynnwood
Also by Mark G Melvin
Breath of Fresh Air,
Doc Manias Tales of Terror
PG Dedicated to my Family
This book is a work of fiction.Names,characters,places,
and incidents either are products of the author's
imagination or are used ficticiously.Any resemblance
to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead,
is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2010 by Mark G Melvin
All rights reserved,including the right of reproduction
in whole in part or in any form.
Published by Lynnwood,
Summerlin, Las Vegas Nevada 89117
Hello! Hello! Susan! Susan! Ma'am pay attention!
Hi my name is Susan from Carpet Falls Indiana. People call me Susie for short. I've been calling Carpet Falls home all of my life. Born here raised here, and subject to die here. My mother taught me to find a kind man. She would say sweetheart you can tell a good man by his manners. If he is polite, kind, and doesn't say any bad words honey then he is a goodman.She would say stay away from those bad boys baby. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck chances are its a duck.
On a beautiful Monday morning, I was heading to work. Everyone spoke to me friendly an all. It was just one of those beautiful days. You could just feel it in the air. I had on my high heels. My momma calls em' hooker heels but I don't care. I had on my newest white summer dress. I had just bought from the local department store Dempsey's. This day I was using my sisters advice. She is a freak. But please do not tell anyone I told you that. Hair done nails done lookin' fine and feeling fine. Sandra my sister well she's more like my best friend. Well anyway's she says show your ass an always give em' a lil cleavage. It keeps em' calm and craving you more and more. She is such a whore. Lol. Her advice sounds great to me. I haven't seent me a date in months. Am I not pretty? Why don't men like me? Not slutty enough that's it. I've got to learn to loosen up, have a drink,and kick back. I was doing my job as usual checking out library books, and then he walked in.
He walked up smiling, grinning at me. He had black hair down to his shoulders a leather jacket blue jeans work boots and was kinda' scruffy lookin.' He walked right up to me opened his mouth,"Hey foxy mama you look like you need your oil changed!"
I covered my face with both hands to hide the redness of embarrassment. Peeked through my fingers that covered my eyes to see if anyone had heard this crazy idiot.
"So what's your name foxy one.?"
"Susie," I said with my head down bashfully.
"Hey now Susie the Cutie don't look down now girl, I am talkin' to you! Hey gal I'm talkin' to you!"
Something just told me to be quiet. Thank goodness Mr. Nickerson came. Noticing something was quite wrong.
"Susan is there a problem here?" I remained silent.
"Hey old timer her name is not Susan its Susie the Cutie." He said holding his hands cupped in front of his chest,, to confirm that he thought mine were huge.
"Sir we won't tolerate that kind of disrespect.Would you please leave?!" Mr. Nickerson told the man with extreme authority in his tone of voice.
"Well excuse me Mr. Peabody." The man said sarcastically to Mr. Nickerson.
He was rough yet I just thought he was gorgeous an
intimidating. My momma said to leave the rough guys alone. Wouldn't you know it, the same day, that another man was watching me, to check out some books too. He was dashing with his three piece suit on. Looking well educated with his wire frame glasses, and his briefcase. He looked educated, classy, and successful.
"Hello. How are you today ma'am?"
"Ma'am! I'm not even!"
"I most humbly apologize."
"Well what shall I call you then?" He asked most gently.
"Well actually its short for Susan." I said rolling my finger in my hair. Laying my boobs in his face setting them onto the counter.
"'What's your name stranger?" I asked him attempting to make my voice sound deep and sexy. He straightened up tall staring at me so hard into my eyes that you know he was actually using his peripheral vision to cop at my boobs. Can't blame him I do have a pair of knockers to die for. If he acts right I just might let him suckem' like a baby! Hope he doesn't say anything stupid.
"Tim, he said smiling. My name is Tim short for Timothy."
"Oh really, Timothy."
"So do you have a man?"
"Well Susan would it be possible if I take you on a traditional?"
"A traditional you say." Now I'm hoping a rent a movie, an a fuck.
"Traditional, he says again. Dinner an a movie" I could not help but look disappointed. But what the heck a free movie. I checked him out, looked him up and down one more time.
The guy looked so happy kinda' dweebish. But momma said manners and respect was a good man. So what do you think I did? I gave him the digits. He said yeah he'd call me, and we'd go out. It would be all good. So you know I am excited. Work went fast that day. When I was walking outside to my car Mr. Oil Change was waiting for me. Stalker! D.A.! D.A! Desperate alert desperate alert!
"Hey foxy momma! How bout you and me warm up the back seat?" I stopped immediately and click clacked my hooker heels right up to his face.
"Look Oil Change!"
"My name is Kyle, Krazy Kyle!" He said so rudely interrupting me.
"I wouldn't go out with you if my life depended on it! Do you hear me? You are rude crude crass and disredamnspectful! How are you going to ask me to warm up your back seat, and you don't even know me! Fucker!"
He must have been a freaking idiot or something. He kept trying to talk to me all the way from the building to my car.
"I'm just being honest babe." He said rambling on.
Now I really can't wait to see Mr. Gentleman tonight! I turned around before getting into my car.
"Well how about you just get the fuck out of my face jerk off!" Then I stopped, put my hand on my hips, and smiled an eerie smile, and grinned a devilish grin.
"Yeah that's what you do tonight grease boy jerk off! Yeah everytime you think of me you just grab a good tight hold of your little pecker and jerk off!" I said to old Oil Change so calmly, loud, and sensual. I sounded so sinister, I scared myself.
"Fuck you!" He screamed with both middles facing me.
"That's why your going out with that dweeb Professor Peabody tonight! Bitch!!!"
I sat down into my car with the window rolled down slightly, and listened to old Krazy Kyle. You know Mr. Oil Change ranted and raved for a while. When he stopped ranting I peeled out leaving him frustrated with a hard cock. Yes, he did have a boner. I just so happened to look down and see him throbbing, when he was calling me a bitch. That's why I told him to jerk off ha ha ha! It was my pleasure to tease a jerk like him.But Mr. Peabody, I mean Timothy. If he acts right tonight he can have it all!
I got home right quick, bathed,showered,and then just sat, and soaked, daydreaming of tonight. Thinking to myself as all of us women do one time or another. Is this the one that can cancel my loneliness, like a bad credit card,is he the one? Is he my knight in shining armor with a sword or a three piece suit an a briefcase?
I got out of the bathroom an oiled myself down lotioned up,and body sprayed perfume, shaved my hairs down their. You catchin' my drift. I got plans to get lucky tonight. I remember dozing off in the living room when he called.I told him I live at 1234 Park Place, in Binsonwood. He came right over. I saw him pull up in front of the house. Oh my! He stepped out of his big Ford something or other. Tall,strong, and chiseled like an NFL football player. Hard features hair slicked back with a pony tail. He was looking edible/scrumptious. Woo!
I knew I would have to use one of my mommas old paper fans from church to keep myself cool while talking to him. I opened the door checking him out thoroughly,and believe me I did not hide it. He noticed.
"Why come on in tall dark one?"
"Yes ma'am." He responded cordially.
"Now I done told you about calling me ma'am!"
"I'm so sorry Susie."
"Now that's more like it.Have a seat please?"
"Why thank you Susie."
"Would you fancy a drink?"
"Well yes please. What do you have?"
"Dirty Daniel," I responded like a trampy whore so he would like me. I didn't want to lose this one. No way! He sat right up in the chair.
"Susie I haven't heard of Dirty Daniel."
"It's Jack Daniels sweetheart,and we call it Dirty Daniel,because when you drink enough of this, things can get down and dirty."
"Well ma'am uh sorry Susie," He said adjusting his glasses like Clark Kent attempting to fool Lois Lane. " I have the utmost respect for women."
"Well that's nice,but too much respect makes Timothy a dull boy. Or maybe even a virgin." I stated coyly walking over to hand him his drink.
"You have such a lovely home Susie."
"Why thank you Timothy."
"You afford all of this working at the library.Binsonwood this is the Creme de la Creme." He stated kindly.
"Well Mr. Timothy my parents left to go on vacation,and they never came back. After 3 years went by they were declared deceased. I inherited this. I just work at the library because I love to read."
"Oh I am so sorry to hear that."
"It's ok, it has been a while."
"Ah who's your favorite author?" He asked me kindly. Gee this is a very polite gentleman. In fact he's so polite I might not get laid tonight. Maybe I'll offer him another drink you know to kinda' help it...well him along.
"Well Tim I'm partial to classic writers. Hmm I'd have to say, Edgar Allen Poe, an I really enjoyed Annie Proulx'sBrokeback Mountain, Tim. Let me ask you something, I said directly.Why don't you let go of your briefcase? Is it like the Linus syndrome with the blanket?" I could tell he was embarrassed that I asked,he was still kind and polite.
"No ma'am its not like Linus. Susie it's just that I have important documents that I must send off on Monday. My boss warned me not to let them out of my sight. They were critically important to the business."
"Well what kind of business are you in if you don't mind me prying? Do You?"
"No ma'am -Susie I'm sorry. I'm in financing. Basically I tell people how to invest their money." By this time I had to have another drink to keep from changing my mind about laying this guy. A nerd in an action figure body with manners mind you. What's the world coming to? Maybe I should have taken up Krazy Kyle the Oil Change guy on his back seat warm up proposition.
"Well it's about time you got it right!" I blurted out kinda' buzzed from Dirty D.
"Are you all right Ms. Susan?"
"I'm fine lets go Peabody. I mean Timothy."
"Susan?" He stated humbly and questionably as only he would. We walked out to his truck. I click clacked my heels with him right behind me. I could feel his eyes piercing onto my large ass. When I turned around quickly to catch him looking. You now how we do it. Just so I could get the conversation going on planting seeds and sexual thoughts in his mind about my ass. He was looking at the house across the street whistling hum dee dumb dee dumb. I turned around disappointed again. I mean is this guy even going to check me out?
He didn't even bother to tell me I looked nice.Or compliment me in anyway. This guy must really be Clark Kent stuck in Superman's body. But I'll fuck him, oh will I fuck him good! Wait till he gets me on top of him. He will remember me, Susan the one that stays heavy on his mind. The one woman he can not forget.
"Let me get that for you Susan . My you smell wonderful today. Out here in the evening moon you look radiant and so beautiful." Well now that is more like it.
"Why thank you Clark,up-oop. Why thank you Timothy." He closed the door. When he walked around in front of the truck I could not help but to think in my head what a dweeb he was. Yet in still maybe I should have talked to Kyle. I mean at least he doesn't take his briefcase with him into the movies.We went straight to the theater and walked right in. He had already purchased the tickets. He was such a fine gentleman. Opening every door offering every courtesy possible. He was such the gentlemen even the candy girl and the popcorn lady complimented him. Both telling me how lucky I was to have such a fine man. Now every woman knows that in girl talk smiles of how lucky you are translates into I'll take your man bitch! Am I right girls? I was almost waiting for him to throw down his coat for me to walk safely over a mud puddle or pick me up an carry me into the theater.
I'll never forget it we watched Crimson Tide with Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman. The movie was great, Gene was so crazy with that cute little dog of his. Denzel that fine chocolate man. Watching him in that movie most definitely made me peek my interest into black men. He was so fine in that movie standing up to crazy Gene. Oh! The uniform OMG!
"So Susan did you have a good time?" Tim asked as we walked out of the theater.
"Yes my prince," I answered with desire in my eyes. Right now he was aggravatingly agitating,but I still just wanted to eat him up.
"Shall we what?" I responded.
"Go across town for dinner. I have made reservations."
"Reservations!" I said happily. While waiting for him to climb in after opening the door for me. I contemplated should I fuck him...hmm? No no no! I wrestled my own mind over that question. Like should I just drop boobs and just shock him,or should I just lunge at him?No he's hella action figure he might kick my ass. Hmm the dilemma to fuck... or not to fuck? That is the question. I know I am such a whore,but I'm really not. I'm an extremely nice small town girl who is wonderfully horny. Haven't seen a cock since. Well if you have to think about it, its been way too long.
My body aches for it like a vampire wants blood. I think I'm gonna rape him. That's it I'll rape him! What's he gonna' do, call the cops? Look how huge this guy is, would they really believe him. Maybe I will just go all psycho bitch on his ass and just blurt out fuck me babe! Go all porn star on his ass!
"Hi Susan,"he said as he slammed the door closed. Snapping me back into reality. I turned and looked at him with the most apple pie grandma face.
"Hi Tim," I said in a timid whisper praying he could not read my mind.
"So what restaraunt are we going to?"
"Carlyle's." I gasped placing my hand on my chest like an old Victorian Queen movie actress looking excited and taken back.I changed my mind about this handsome gentleman man.Carlyle's thee most
prestigious,expensive restaraunt in town. Oh yes! He wants to get laid tonight! He is expecting some ass! Carlyle's! He can get it! Desert is like 175.00 now I can't keep my eyes off of him. We drove across town chatting the whole way.
" Hey Timothy,so where did you grow up? Where are you from? Please tell me some thing about yourself?" I slid over to sit next to him in his truck.He appeared to rather enjoy it.You know ladies my momma taught me that you can always tell what is on a mans mind by just one look. A look is worth a 1,000 words or explanations. He cleared his throat.
"When do we have to be there?" I asked.
"Anytime before 11pm." Timothy replied with that sweet baritone voice of his.
"Ok well can we go and sit by the lake and chat for a while?"
"Hey Tim check this out." I said reaching into my purse pulling out my Dirty D,two shot glasses an a candle. We pulled up to the lake or lovers lane,is what we call it here.I had on my nice pink and white summer dress with the ruffles on my shoulders.We just sat quietly,looking at the full moon rising onto the waters shimmering with the wind blowing ripples on the surface.Timothy placed in a Boys II Men cd.I told him,"not yet baby lets just enjoy the silence." I lit my candle,and placed it on his dashboard with an old newspaper from under his seat,to catch the wax. Poured him a double shot of Dirty D and myself as well.
"My feet hurt in these heels Tim."
"Well take them off babe."
"Babe,oh my Tim are you flirting with me?" He never answered,only grinned.Tim tapped his lap with his big strong hands,as if to signal to me,to put my feet up on him to rest.So I did.
"Hope there not sweaty or stinky Tim." I said eyes wide open and eyebrows up in the air.
"No of course not my dear." Listen at him such the gentleman. I feel so safe with him.He is so big and strong,I'll bet cash money he'd wallop three grown men at once. With my feet upon his lap turned sideways in his truck looking directly at him,I begin to know this wonderfully kind man.
"So Tim where are you from?"
"Get out! If that don't pull down the panties on a rooster! It has got to be some kind of cold there."
"Why yes it is." He responded calmly.
"What about your folks?" I asked bold and directly,as we both held our glasses, in the flickering, of the candle light."Well my mothers from Washington State, and daddy's from Oregon,both from the west coast."
"What brings you to Indiana Tim?" I said holding my glass with one hand,and tracing the rim with my other hands finger.Trying not for him to notice that I am hornier than 2 jack rabbits in a backpack all alone.
"Well Susan,Sue,Susie." He smiled like a school boy.He is so beautiful m m m. I am going to tastes him tonight.
"Well Susie I just needed a change of pace,something different."
"Tim I know exactly what you mean."
"You do Sue?"
"You do Sue." I said laughing, and giggling, smiling adoringly at him.
"You made a rhyme Timothy."
"You can call me Tim,Tim is just fine."
"Ok Tim your fine."
Oh snap what da hell did I just say? Ok ok don't panic he'll think it's the alcohol.Play it off and don't comment on it.
"Your fine too babe." Wow I guess that got heard.What's a girl to do?
"You know I do not want to disrespect you,or touch you without permission, said Tim.I mean." He said nervously to himself.
"Hey Tim...just spit it out ok?!"
" Ok Sue." He said reluctantly,still pausing, and hesitating.
"Well!" I exclaimed becoming agitated.Why does he take me through these loops?
"May I rub your feet for you? I mean you have been working hard,walking in high heels all day.You took the time to even wear more heels tonight.I assume to look pretty for me.Its the least I could do to show my gratitude an appreciation for all of your effort.You look good and you smell great,but I know these puppies have got to be aching by now." He said looking at me with that warm wonderful enchanting trance like smile of his.
"No they ain't puppies,these are dogs,why do you think I took off those heels and placed them on you?"
"So I'd rub em." He responded like a genius.
"Oh I get it. you wanted me to read you between the lines.Kind of like a power of suggestion type thing."
"Now your getting it." I said smartly rolling my eyes as he began to firmly rub my feet to humble submission.
"Mm,oh,mm Tim that feels so good.I could so totally get used to this."
"That's right babe drink your drink and relax you deserve it.If anyone deserves it,it is you."
"So tell me how you got those big strong muscles of yours Tim?"
"You can notice that through my clothes?"
"Yeah Tim, a body like yours gives a woman's eyes x-ray vision."
"Yeah well I used to work out,with the Pastor of my church." Right then I awoke out of buzzed slumber and sat straight up and drank my drink right down.
"Pastor!" I repeated anxiously with worry and concern written all over my face.
"Why yes my Pastor,"he said with much anxious concern as well.
"Is there something wrong Sue?" He asked me suspiciously.
"No of course not." I know I must have sounded like the cat swallowing the canary.
"Are you sure Susan?" He asked again.
"Yes!" I snapped removing my feet from his lap.Sitting up in the seat, opening the truck door, and stepping down onto the ground.I stepped onto the damp dewed grass and slammed the door crossing my arms into frustration. He immediately got out of the truck,and ran around to me.He turned me to face him.
"Susan what's gotten into you?"
"Is that why you won't drink your drink?!" I blurted out.
"What?!" He blurted back bewildered and slightly distressed.
" My drink?" He questioned again.
"Are you so religious that you can't have a drink with me?" He ran back around to the drivers side,grabbed his glass came back,and drank it right down with one swallow.
"Ah, I love that Dirty D." He said with the widest smile.We both laughed hysterically.
"I'm so sorry Tim. I thought I'd been acting like-."
"Stop! Stop right there Sue,you have been acting like a great date an I enjoy your company ok!"
"Ok." I responded like a wounded whimpering dog. I threw myself into his arms and cowered into his strong chest,whining like a little child.
" I am so sorry Tim,you probably think I'm a luney tunes,an daffier than Daffy Duck." I said apologetically.
"No,no babe your fine."
"So are you." I snuck in as I stared into his sexy and gorgeous eyes.I noticed that when I placed my arms around him for a quick hug.I hit an "awkward" Moment. his hands stayed at his sides. He did not hug me back. He did not hug me back at all!Wow, how could he not want to curl up and mush himself into these knockers?! Maybe he's gay?! So you know a woman like me had to go ahead and ask him,"are you gay?!"
"Are?... You?... Gay? I did not stutter! I mean you don't drink,you don't want to hug me,you ask for permission to touch me,and now you would not hug me back....Are... you... gay?!" He sighed and took a deep breath.
"Your hesitating Tim." I said refreshingly taunting him. Yeah that's it this guys too cleanly dressed.Mr. attache he's gay,that's it he's a queerball. He probably handles the cock better than I do.
" I'm drinking I'm horny,I'm feeling a lot rejected here Tim!" OMG,did I just blurt outloud my thoughts I was thinking to myself.
"Shit! Answer me Tim?" I screamed at him both hands on my hip, and my foot tapping on the ground.He sighed again directly in front of me.
"No Sue,I respect women. I just didn't want you to think, that just because we were out here with candles,and the Dirty D,that I was going to try and take advantage of you!"
"DuhTimboe, that is what's supposed to happen when people are alone in situations like this." I said almost in tears frustrated beyond belief.
" Can we just go to dinner ok, lets just go!" He went to go open the door for me again. I pushed his hand away,and rolled my eyes into the back of my head.
" I've got it Mr. Gentleman!" I said with much sarcasm.
I'll be right back, I have got to go pea," Tim said.I'll be right back I have got to go pea, I said mimicking him.He walked away from the truck.OMG I just wished he would come on. Kicking the floor stomping my feet.I just want to fuck, my goodness, am I not pretty enough? I yelled in a blood curdling scream,after I rolled up both windows,so Professor Wonderful here would not here me. Let me see what in the hell is so important about this briefcase. So I picked it up,and clicked it open.There were no papers in there.It was two large trash bags and rope. Now what in the heck would he be doing with 2 large trash bags and rope?He told me it was documents for his boss. Something's up! Hmm.
"Hey Susan,"said Timothy as he opens the door. He looked around suspiciously and then climbed up in and sat down.He started up the truck,and reached out to softly caress my face with his hand.
" Susan are you ok? I have never ever had a woman get so angry from me not making a move. I am only trying to respect you."
"I know Tim I am so, so sorry.Please forgive me baby?" I said sighingly.
Yeah its no problem as pretty as you are an all, come here baby? Now I am truly wondering what he wants.
" It would be a shame to waste all of this candle light,and the moon shimmering on the water and thangs." He said so romantically.I looked at him reluctantly.We both scooted toward one another.Tim took his right hand and cupped the back of my neck. Looked at me in the eyes,with his sexy ass brown eyes,he leaned right in, opened his mouth slightly and we smooched! Whew can that man kiss.When we backed away from one another,I placed my hand on his leg,and this so and so had the nerve to move it!He told me to slow down now,you are moving too fast baby girl.I was thinking oh yeah, I'm a put a speed knot fast up on his head!
"Ok Timberly,I mean Timothy." I said smiling so hard my teeth stuck together.
"Lets go oh ye proper one."
"My goodness,you find a good man treat you good,respect you,and your all smart mouthing me now. If I was trying to have sex with you,you would be turning me down so quickly my head would be spinning. Women I can't figure you all out for to save my life.Can't live with you,can't live without you." He said complaining, and whining,sounds like widdleWimberly needs his mommy. We left the water, and went to Carlyle's.
Now Carlyle's was the Creme de la Creme in our town.We pulled up in front of the valet,in Tim's big ol' clean Ford truck.They had a goldfish pond out front.A large lit water geyser in the middle that sprayed every which way.The building was pure white with 2 large columns in the front.It had the look of an old southern mansion with candles in the windows upstairs.That is were you can sit on cozy couches and drink in the upper bar. It was always barely lit. So romantic,I have to be here with Mr. old scared of a woman, good old respectable Tim.We pulled up to the valet.Tim got out and passed the man a twenty dollar bill,just to park the car.Tim got out, walked around opened the door,reached in, picked me up, and place my feet onto the ground.He can pick me up anytime he wants to.
When we walked in the hostess asked us who we were.Timothy said,"two for the Donner Party."
"Right this way Mr. Donner." She sashayed in her night gown,shakin' it kind of hard.Almost like she was trying to attract Tim's attention. I was right behind him,mocking in my head.Right away Mr.Donner.She was quite polite pulling out both of our chairs,as I rolled my eyes.Standing a moment allowing us to get settled into our seats.
"May we have two red wines and some warm bread please?"
"Right away sir,"said the hostess.
" My name is Sheila,Mary your server will be right out.Is there anything else I may be of any assistance to you with?"
"No thank you we both responded."
" Is there anything I may be of assistance to you with." I said mockingly as she walked away. She heard me and turned around momentarily,and then kept walking.
"Bitch!" I said loudly.
"Susan! Susan! Just what is your problem? Would you like for them to spit in your food or worse?!"
" I don't appreciate her flirting with my date in my face!"
"She wasn't flirting she was only being polite!"
"I'm another woman,I know when a woman is flirting an all!"
"Is that right Susan?"
"Yes that's right!" Our server came out.
"Hi my name is-."
"Mary!" I interrupted.
"Yes Shelia!" I said with much attitude,"already told us." Tim sat quietly with his hand over his mouth embarrassed.
"I am so sorry." Tim said apologetically.
" What da fuck are you sorry about?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I jumped up pushing my chair onto the floor.
"Oh so your apologizing about my behavior! What Tim?!" I said with my hands on my hips huffing and puffing in a violent rage. Everyone stopped eating and began staring at us.Tim sat like the punk he is with his head down,and his hand over his face,to cover his shame.
"All I said was Mary because I knew her name!Sheila had just told us!"
"Mary.Tim said passively. Could you excuse us and come back in a moment?"
"Yes sir," Mary said walking abruptly away.Sheila cowered in the corner observing.
"Sit down!" Tim whispered forcefully with a smile rubbing his temple trying to appear to cool.
"What's the matter Timberly can't handle me?! Huh?! Can't handle a woman like me?!" I began crying and ranting, rambling my life to Tim.
" I am so sorry." I said sitting back down beginning to sob.
"Its just that you are so fine,but I think I scare you.I am probably going to sit here with you all muscular,fine,and polite,and it is seriously looking like you won't even want to fuck me tonight! I haven't been fucked since my last trip to the drug store for batteries! I'm just going to put it out there.Are you going to fu-?"
"Susan! Susan! Please get a grip?" Timothy scolded softly.
" I'm trying to grip something tonight!" I said back to him sarcastically,while drying my tears.
"Hey maybe I should just take you home."
"No!" I said sharply as Mary sat down the wine and warm buttered bread.
"No the hell you won't!" I yelled grabbing and tearing into my bread in one hand,while chugging my wine with the other hand.
" Hey Mary!"
"Ma'am!" I roared back.
"Susan! Timothy interrupted again.I was actually turned on by Timothy's mean muggin' me.I calmed down,"Mary I said obviously forcibly smiling,"may I have a drink please?!"
"I'm sorry miss."
"Miss,yes that is much more like it. Please may I have a Long Island Iced Tea,and a double shot of Cognac please?"
"Mary,may I have what shes having please?"Timothy said disappointedly.Tim then studied me momentarily.
"You know Susan what is your deal? Is this a tv show?" He said looking around for hidden cameras.
"Am I getting punked? Where's AshtonKutcher?" Mary began to bring the drinks,as I began to laugh hysterically.
"Sir would your party like a menu?"
"Yes please Mary."
"Right away sir,"said Mary.Tim laughed at me.
"Well I never."
"Well tonight you will." I responded with a drink in my hand staring him down directly,into his eyes,like a bull charging a matador.Tim clasped his hands together,eased back into his chair,and just studied me with easy eyes.
"Woman what am I going to do with you?" Now I wanted to tell him what I would love for him to do,but Tim here was a true gentleman.He was taking my worst and rolling with it. In my mind I'm still wondering why he has two big garbage bags, lawn size garbage bags an a rope.But he is so kind, nice, polite,and gentle I don't think he could hurt a fly.
"Hey Tim lets switch tables and sit by the window?"
"Sure ok." Tim raised his hand and gestured for Mary.
"Yes sir Mr. Donner."
"May we please sit at the window table please?"
" Why yes sir, go right ahead, I will bring your drinks and some fresh bread sir."
"Thank you so much Mary you always take care of me.Now...all I heard was, "always." My female alert alarm of p.p.i. went up immediately.That's possible penis interference radar!Boop! Boop! Boop! We relocated tables, and Tim excused himself to the little boys room. That's when I went right over to the Hostess Sheila.
" Hi," Sheila I said nervously. Not only have I been acting like the worlds biggest bitch,I called her one.
" Sheila I just wanted to apologize,woman to woman,that was wrong. I don't have any excuse other than,it has been a rough night,and I am extremely sorry."
"It takes big girl panties to come an apologize face to face.Especially when you call me a bitch straight up,and you don't even know me! But, I can get over it,its cool,forgotten."
"Thank you Sheila." I walked away quickly to find Mary at our table waiting for me. Now I had to be quick to get this information before Mr. Man got back.
"Mary, may I ask you something?" I asked hesitatingly.
"Sure Ms.what is it?"
"Well I heard Tim say that you take care of him. So he comes here allot."
"Oh yes,but usually upstairs to watch games."
"Mary may I bother to ask you another question?"
"Yes Ms. go right ahead its no problem.No problem at all."
"Well would you say Tim is a nice guy? I mean woman to woman what kind of man is he? Ok to the point is he gay or luney tune?"
"Oh goodness no he ain't gay."Mary said bursting into hysterical laughter.He is one of those clean guys,kinda metro,you know.Hair and nails done, never ever dirty."
"Oh really Mary,he seems stand offish to me." After that,we just chatted about the restaraunt,until ol' Timberly came back to the table.
"So ladies what are you all chattn' about?"
" Nothin' Tim just girl talk." Mary said as she winked at me and walked away.
"You ladies sure are covert."
"Just what the hell was that supposed to mean?!"
"Ok, ok lets not get you started again ok Susan?"
"What shall we eat?" I asked.
"The steak is great."
"Yes really." He responded quickly.
"Well how about some shrimp and potatoes too?"
"Sounds fine." Tim called Mary over and steaks were a comin.'We sat and chatted at our nice white clothe covered table with floating candles on it.Both of us staring out of the window, when Oil Changes face popped up. He squashed his nose onto the window. He then began yelling obscenities to put it nicely.
Timothy jumped up and these two began yelling at each other through the window. I truly think Oil Change is messing with the wrong man.Old Timmy here carries two trashbags and a rope.You know? Thank goodness security came. Kyle was removed from the property.
Our steaks were so tender and juicy.They actually served it with a butter knife.We had rum and bananas cooked right at the table. Mm. It was so good.The vanilla Icecream was like vanilla intense!I did not know it but expensive food taste better.Maybe that's why they make you pay so much.
Dinner was finished with the nicest cup of herbal raspberry tea. It was served in the cutest little tea cups. It reminded me of when your a little girl, pretending to be Queen of England,having a tea party.Now I wonder if I can actually have sex with Tim,or is he going to be the gentleman.I don't want him to play the gentleman tonight.Tonight I need him to be the bad boy.We just sat staring at each other drinking our tea bathing in each others eyes. I wonder what he is thinking of me. He probably thinks I'm one crazy luney bitch.
When I look at him I'm thinking of choking him in a bubble bath,while I ride em cowgirl. Yee Haw!Take this coochie you sombitch! Getty up doggy yee haw! Yeah I'm a crazy bitch! If he could read my thoughts I wouldn't be here with him now.
Hello! Hello! Susan! Susan! Ma'am pay attention!
"Huh?" I responded dreamily.
" Are you daydreaming?" He whistled and said earth to Susan come in Susan,resembling a robot.
"Come back Susan? Boopboopboop!" Timothy had to snap his fingers,clap his hands and stomp his feet to get me out of la la land. I was right in the middle of orgasming on top of him in my mind.
"Hello, hello, Susan, Susan." I didn't snap back fully until he came and stood right beside me.
"Tim could you excuse me,I need to use the little ladies room."
"Ok babe are you sure that you are ok?"
" Ah yeah."Placing my hand on my head like duh.Timmy baby looked confused. Men they'll never understand us why?Because we won't let them. We won't let them because they are so stupid. Men are naive simpletons that are like little children.Men believe anything you say if you cry a lil bit.My favorite is faking like I'm upset an all.When I walk away I go into the bathroom and pretend to give myself an award.And the award for best actress of the year goes to me Susan,Susan Gentry.Yeah then I make the roaring crowd goes wild sound.Then I parade all around laughing to myself. Kudos. Kudos. Pope waving to myself and the imaginary crowd and then....and then... and then...taking a bow I throw roses to my adoring fans.When I'm completely all done with that, I make him feel sorry he ever even thought of questioning me,with the old classic guilt trip routine.
My one rule in life is that I rule anyway,anyhow!My sorority sisters and some of my best friends would say that every year at New Years.While everyone else was screaming and yelling an all that,we lifted our special glasses,with our names on them.We grouped into a circle and said the Rule pledge.Afterwards we all hugged each other and said I love you.
I'd better hurry up and get out of this bathroom before Timmy Wimmy starts getting flustered.Still thinking to myself,I hope he fucks me tonight,or...
Walking back out into the dining room area table,Tim was waiting for me. He was waiting with his hand out stretched to hold mine. You know that I grabbed it with Tim's fine ass. He is so large and so muscular,I sure hope that I don't push him so far that he punches me or something.Tough I may be,but this is the garbage bag and rope guy.Wow I noticed that Tim had left a Benjamin on the table for ol Mary. Why o why can Tim leave that bitch a hundred bill,but he don't want to hug me!We walked outside holding hands.Still kinda full from the steak.
Tim looked me right into my eyes woo fuckinghoo! He gave me one of those once in a lifetime mouth watering kisses. He had me feeling as if I wanted to completely pass out. Mm.Timmy! Timmy! Timmy! OMG! He is making me want him so f______g bad! Whew!
The valet walked up,and Tim gave him the ticket and a fifty dollar bill.When the valet came back with Tim's truck,guess what? Yup you guessed it Timbo gave him another fifty.
He totally insisted that he be the one to open my door for me.He did not want the hottie valet guy who was so totally doable. OMG...I...am...such...a...hoe!
We got in looked at each other and smiled. Off we went.About three blocks away I said,pull over." Of course Tim being a simple man kept on driving.
"Tim pull over!"
"What is your deal woman?!"
"Could you please just pull over?"Sighing and reluctant,Timmy,Timberly said,"ok babe."As soon as we pull over. BOOM! I hop up an out of nowhere straddle him!
"What are doing?! What are you doing?!"
"Shut up Timberly I'm going to fuck you! I am going to so fuck you!" Tim resisted slightly with a raised eyebrow when I said Timberly.But when my lips touched his,he subsided his,and flowed with it. His arms wrapped around my waist strongly. I came on myself! Tim began to kiss me on my neck. I began to move his hand down to my butt as Tim was the kind of mommas boy most that definitely needed the clue.
He squeezed my butt momentarily,but unfortunately,he respects me so much,he moved his hands back to rubbing my back,and not my backside. That was cute an all,but if I had wanted a massage,I could have bought a massage pad at Walmart for like twenty-five bucks,and some change.He must be a serial killer because he does not want any ass.However,I still kissed him,because it felt great. Tim needed more help getting a clue. I sat back grabbed his arm from around me.I took his finger placing it into my mouth,and sucked it,like it was the real thing.Then I took his same hand and made him slide his big middle finger inside of me.He peeked and felt around for my panties.I leaned in an whispered into his ear,"I'm not wearing any."
Grabbing his face an leaning in on his finger is feeling so good.Moaning, and moaning, and moaning.One hand in me the other,he finally reached under my dress to grab my ass.I pulled out my breast and grabbed the back of his head and made him suck it.As I was reaching the pinnacle point of another climax.
"Why did you call me Timberly?!" Glass broke from the window an a brick brushed by my arm.
"What da fuck?!" I screamed outloud lifting myself up off of Tim's more than satisfying finger.
Tim jumped out and began fighting.I while putting my dress back up,began looking to see who it was,that he was fighting.The street was so dark I had to jump out to see who it was.As I jumped out my foot had caught hold to Tim's briefcase, catching it,and it fell to the ground,partially under the truck.
I peered in closer as they fought.OMG! It was fucking Oil Change.
"Oil Change! What the fuck?!"
"I'll save you Susan! I'll save you!" Oil Change yelled bravely.Angrily I yelled,"Save me from what?! Some cock?! I blurted sounding confused.Kyle you just blocked my cock tonight. You luney son of a bitch!" A resident from one of the homes on the street looked on.
"I just called the cops,you crazy idiots!"
"Thank you!" I barked back confused,finally piecing together what had just happened.The dumbass cock block thinks that the prude was....Wow that's a laugh, hardy harrharr.
Tim was completely whooping this guys ass.Do you think I was about to stop him? Hell no! He had just totally,absolutely,and thoroughly,messed up my second come of the night.I was right there man! Whew! I should whoop dat ass myself! He was on top of that guy straddled,holding his face still with one hand,while pounding him all in his grill with the other!Wow that shit was fantastic! It turned me on! I mean he was non stop repeatedly hitting him in the eyes,nose,and mouth.His teeth were on the ground!
The police sirens were wailing as the police car pulled up directly in front of all of this.I don't know if the officer noticed,but I noticed.As the policeman were getting out of there car.Timmy stood up closing his door,and eased his briefcase under the truck,with the heel of his foot as he turned around.
"Up against the truck now!Dispatch an ambulance to the 1200 block of Dulancey Avenue."The officer said forcibly.He looked around at all of us to assess the situation.Krazy Kyle lay on the ground covered in his own blood.He began garbling something to the police.
"He was raping her man! Pointing at myself, and Timothy. I stopped em' I stopped em! He was raping her and I through a brick through the window!" Kyle yelled huffing and puffing,out of breath from the fight.The officer now focused all of his attention onto me. With is weapon drawn and flashlight pointed in the same direction, he began asking me of Kyle's accusation.
"Ma'am is that true ?!" The officer waited as his partner began to frisk Tim.
"Sir!" Tim interrupted.
"Be quiet you piece of shit! Ma'am is that true ?!" The officer asked more intently this time.
"No it is not true .The truth is we had just left from having dinner at Carlyle's."
"Who is we ma'am? Him standing up, or him with teeth on the ground?"
"Him the big guy standing up. Tim Donner.You can call Carlyle's we just left.The guy on the ground says his name is Krazy Kyle.He got himself escorted off of the property for harassing Tim and I."
"Ma'am are you positive he did not rape you?"
"No sir he did not rape me. If anything I was trying my best to get him to rape me.Tim is an absolute gentleman.The officer called Carlyle's immediately as the ambulance came an attended to Kyle.
"He'll live. The EMT worker said.He's a little banged up,well he's a lot banged up.He got his ass whooped d d d! Sorry sir. The EMT said,apologetically.I haven't seen someone beat up like this,since after losing a high school football game." He said almost smirking.
"Hello Carlyle's,yes this is officer Baker of Carpet Falls PD. Who's in charge their?Sheila, well hello Sheila.Was there an altercation where a gentleman was escorted off of the property tonight ma'am? Mhm.Oh and one more question,did you serve a couple tonight,by the name of Donner? What was the lady wearing by chance if you can remember? Ok did they give you any trouble?No. Oh he's a good tipper huh.A perfect gentleman huh.Why thank you Sheila mhm bye bye."
The officer looked at Krazy Kyle like a big heap of warm freshly dropped dog shit.He removed the handcuffs from Tim,an apologized sincerely.Krazy had been charged for destruction of private property,an assault.The residents of the small dark street,who had come out to onlook all had left.The police officers loaded up an were pulling away.He pulled off ,Tim an I looked at each other wide eyed like w.t.f.Tim sighed in relief.
"Hey big boy,my knight in shining armor,How can I relieve you?" The officers reverse lights shined, as he backed up right next to Tim an I,right along side of Timbos truck.He rolled down his window.
"Hey there is a briefcase under your truck!" The cop said loudly over his squawking radio.OMG! OMG!OMG! My brain went into sheer anxiety, panic attack,for poor Tim.
"Is that yours?"
"Why yes thank you officer." The officer had gotten curious an opened his door.He stood up an watched us over his hood semi-suspiciously.
"Oh,"I said outloud.
"I kicked it out of the truck,getting out after Kyle threw the brick in and hit me."
"Oh ok well you two have a good night."The officer tapped the roof of the patrol car twice and then left.
"So honey lets go to my house and get cozy."
"I don't know Susan all of this excitement tonight.You got yourself hit with a brick in the arm an all.
"The least you can let me do is thank you."I said deep and seductively holding his hand in the moonlight,on the dark street.We both stood by the drivers side door.My sisters advice running through my mind.
"Susan you sure are a nice woman,but I just don't want you to think,that I would take advantage of your kindness." Oh how he does not know,how I want to get on my knees and beg him to take advantage of my kindness.He can take all of the advantage he wants.
"Humor me ok big guy." I said while rubbing his back with my free hand.Giving him the pouting puppy dog eyes.
"Oh all right Susan lets go." He said reluctantly.We both climbed into Tim's truck.We kissed.He started her up an off we went.
We arrived at my house very quickly.I waited for him to walk around an open the door.After stepping down out of the truck,I had my hand outstretched waiting to hold his.We clasped each other's hand and walked up the steps to my front door.
My nosy neighbor was outside watering the grass at 1:00 am in the morning.
"Hi Ms.Karen!" I mumbled ,nosy ass under my breath as Tim laughed. Unlocked the door,and we strolled in. Tim breathed out a sighing ah.So I knew that he was relaxed.
"Tim you have been drinking why don't you spend the night?"
"Oh no I could not do that Susan." We sat down in the living room.He then placed his feet up on the ottoman as I had gestured.Immediately I got down onto my knees,taking off his shoes and his sox.Excusing myself to the kitchen,and retrieved a wash towel,an a bucket of warm soapy hot water. Palm Olive to be exact.I washed his feet rubbed em'with lotion. Fixed him a drink...a few.Ha ha ha! Hey this Tim was a tuff nut to crack but I was determined to bust a nut for him whether he liked it or not.I had to do what I had to do.
The next thing you know old Tim boy was yawning,and snoring fast asleep.I tip-toed on my carpet and just looked at him.Looking into his beautiful face,my body temperature elevated immensely.Leaning forward,I grabbed my crotch and began to rub myself,grasping my breast,taunting,teasing myself,fantasizing of Tim.
He just was so fucking hot,I could taste him.Gently,I rubbed my hands onto his pants.Softly,I unbuckled his belt,as he was snoring and sound asleep.Next I quietly,smoothly,and slowly eased down his zipper,notch by notch by notch.He moved his arm,and I jumped back anxiously awaiting for him to settle back into deep sleep again.
When he was deep into sleep,I eased back over to him pulling his penis out of the slit in his boxer shorts.Mm,while my own fingers pleased myself,I began to lotion his penis.I place it into my hand securely, turned on by the heat of it warming my palm.I started at his mushroom tip and squeezed.Then I opened my hand slightly moving down a little and squeezed again. Repeating this process until his base was reached and then did it again.My mouth began to water,I got down onto my knees.I looked at his penis face to face rubbing it and then softly flicking it.Grabbing his tip into my mouth, mm squeezing it.Then I ever so softly opened my mouth moving slowly forward but just a little and then closing my lips again on his penis.I repeated this process until reaching his base and slowly repeated this inchworm process again an again an again.Personally I named this slow oral sex technique the inchworm.So I can take my time tasting his entire manhood,savoring his flavor,so that I could reflect on it again later, in my thoughts.He became hard as steel.It was so stiff you could hang your coat up on it.
I pulled my dress off slipped off my bra,all while he was still firmly in my mouth.Placing my legs completely over him,his penis I placed in my hand to maintain the pressure.I kept pulsating his cock.I could feel his pulse as his penis twitched in my hand from squeezing his tip.Now I stepped forward with my vagina hovering over his cock.I rested gently on it feeling his stiffened erection swollen on the warmth of my wetness.
"I am going to rape him."I whispered to myself in an erotic trance,overpowered by lust,reason was nowhere here to be found.Leaning forward,I placed both of my hands on my backside spreading, opening myself up,lowering myself onto him.First his head slipped in, and I squeezed myself around him,in the same manner I used my hand and my mouth, slowly working my way down his long thick pleasurable meat.Stuffing him inside me,and the best part of it is,he doesn't even know..Next I sat down on him, in full mount, an all of my weight upon him.Now leaning my head back in pleasure,rocking him back and forth like a little baby.Having my way with this gigantic man, and his wonderfully fabulous huge cock of his.
"You crazy bitch!" His hands were around my throat choking the life out of me.
"You don't even have a condom on,you could have aids bitch!"Pushing me off onto the floor, him in a drunken stupor.He stood up and his pants fell onto the ground fully exposing the Washington Monument.I scooted backwards.He stumbled over his pants falling flat onto his face.I ran into the hall bath,and ran back to him.
"You crazy bitch,what did you put into my drink?!"
"Sleeping pills punk!"
"I'm outta here! He yelled crawling to the door.
"Where are you going?! You don't leave me, nobody ever leaves me!"He got up and began hitting me with lefts and rights.I began to stagger.He came close to me.
"Do you want to know what a woman's bestfriend is Tim?!"
"Balls!" He shrieked into soprano as he fell onto the floor groveling in pain.
"What's that you've got? Put...put that down! Put that needle down you crazy hoe!"
"I'm a crazy hoe! Huh I'm a crazy hoe! I'm not the one walking around with garbage bags an a rope in a briefcase!"I then pounced on top of him!
"Ouch what was that?!" Tim cried holding his arm in shock.
"Sleep tight sweet prince!"He slept for four hours straight,before he slowly began to awake.
"Where am I?! Where am I?! What dafuck?! He screamed looking around at his surroundings.Get me outta this basement let me go! Get this rope off of me! Shit that's my rope!Take off these handcuffs!If I get loose I am killing you hoe!"
"You ain't never leaving! They all try to leave! You are not leaving! Your gonna stay right here and I'm going to fuck you!"Now that he was tied up, I began to openly have my way with him.
"M m no no m oh girl ah shit damn that feels so good!Damn that feels so good! Ok ok I'll let you suck it,just let me go when your done!"
"NO! Oh you thought I was only going to suck it!Shut up! Shut dafuck up!You whining sniveling little bitch!" I began pounding my ass on him hard!Taking the dick!Forcefully!
"Ouch shit! Why are you slapping me!"Timothy screamed.
"Shut up Bitch!" I yelled at Timothy.Timothy bound naked on my basement floor with a powerful erection.My naked body,with sweat dripping on top of his.The smell of sex filled the room as I fucked him well!
"Oh,oh,oh, baby you feel so good, baby,baby oh shitfuck me fuck me!"Tim said in passion as I worked him over.
"What's my name bitch?!"
"Come on man? Are you serious? Ouch shit!"He yelped as I once again slapped him in his head and punched him in his face while fucking him.
"Spell it again!"
"S.U.S.A.N! What da? Are those dead people in the corner? Who are they you sick bitch?!"
"That's my sister and my parents! No one leaves me!"I screamed finishing off my cum.
"M thanks babe,you were a great piece of ass." I told Tim sitting up allowing his penis to finally come out of captivity from inside of me.I grabbed a can of lighter fluid from off of the floor.
"No no you don't have to do that Susan!"
"It's the best way to cover up evidence an I'll collect the insurance pay off. Accidental fire babe! Bye bye!"
"Hello!Hello!Susan!Susan! Wake up! Susan Gentry stand up and face this court please?! Do you have anything to say before the court passes sentence upon you?" The judge said firmly.
"Ms.Gentry you have been found guilty of 16 counts of Capital Homicide.Two of which were your own parents,and your very own sister.The last of your victims Tim RotleibLocklear an escaped convicted serial killer from ACI, the Alaskan Correctional Institute.This court sentences you to the electric chair whereby electricity shall pass through your body until you are dead! Court Adjourned! Remove the prisoner!" I heard the gavel strike the wood.
"Now you know my story a female serial killer.The fucking cops would have never caught me had not Timboes scarey ass had not have been stalking me to be his next vic.The fucking pigs were tracking him and that is how they found me.The Kindness Killer.
So here I am in the women's correctional fufuckincility.They call me the Kindness Killer, because I took advantage and made prey of wimpy nice guy gentlemen that are too kind.
So all of you nice guys toughen up,because with women like me,nice guys always finish dead! When your naive and nice to me,I kill you with your kindness!
P.S.Love Susan Gentry, you better hope I don't escape! I don't let my men leave.I'll fuck you to death!