“Love and Redemption”
To love both spiritually and physically with no hate, no anger, and no judgement is perhaps the greatest thing we can ever do. Isabella showed me the truth of what I once was; the darkness of an abused child trapped within me...that she set free. I owe her everything. Through her love and death I found redemption.
As the galaxy continued to spiral into chaos I continued to heal. Although a great weight felt as if it had been lifted off of my shoulders, I could still see the faces of those I killed and somehow feel the pain of the millions, now dying in this horrid conflict. Whole worlds were being destroyed. It appeared as if rationality had been set aside as the darkest elements of us emerged and took control. The dogs of war had truly been unleased, and I could not put completely aside my part in helping bring it about. And yet for all the blood on my hands Isabella did not shy away from me, instead she embraced me.
It is hard to explain but once you have shared a truly spiritual and mental bond with someone, you are connected to them in ways that are beyond words. You see, as Isabella healed me, she also felt everything that I had done, she experienced it all, took it out of me and into her, before casting it aside like a cloak that was no longer needed. But in doing so something connected on a level deep within us, a force that compelled us to want to be together. I realise now that it was love in its most pure and undiluted manner, which is within all of us, yet never truly surfaces in its unmasked form.
As the weeks rolled by we spent long days together wandering the paths and tranquillity gardens of “Shemzu”. We swam in the crystal clear waters of its oceans. We mediated beneath the multi coloured blossoms of the Wamack Tree. And slowly as my inward journey continued, I began to touch the consciousness of the universe. It was the same sensation I briefly felt when I was on “Hell’s Fire”. I comprehended more fully how everything is connected. I began to glimpse how Falstaff’s mind worked, how he saw all the different threads and how they could all come together.
As for the nights, Isabella and I spent them in one another’s arms, enjoying the pleasures of the flesh, but with our mental bond it was as if we were one. I cannot put it into words that do it justice, other than to say that I have never felt such...bliss. “The loneliest place in the world is the heart when love is absent”, she said to me one balmy night. The hot winds from the desert blowing through the windows; love truly is sharing a part of yourself with others, and how wonderful the universe would be if love were as easy to keep as it is to make. At that moment I had decided to spend the rest of my time with her and to hell with the anarchy that was tearing the galaxy apart at the seams. I had finally found what I had been looking for all my life and I had to become a killer to find it. The universe certainly has a sense of irony.
But as usual, the fickle hand of fate, that has always been a part of my life, would intervene once again. I had gone into the mountains to pick the Baram Fruit which only grew on the high plateaus, when Isabella was killed. The shot that struck her head came from the barrel of an assassins’ gun of “The Organisation”. Falstaff had found me and he sent his minions to kill me. Not only did they take her life, but all the lives of “The Followers of Shemzu”. But they missed me because I was picking fruit.
I buried her beneath the shade of the Wamack Tree. It had become our special place. I sat by her graveside for hours. I mediated. I offered up prayers. I felt her love still within me in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. She would always be a part of me. Even now I can still feel her just as strongly as if she were still alive. No one ever really dies if we remember them. But Falstaff must die. I realised that although I found peace upon Shemzu and in her arms; as an assassin I became complacent and let my guard down. Or perhaps someone like me didn’t deserve love...but in the end everyone deserves love. How could I ever think that he would leave me alone while I was still alive? How did he find out that I was not dead? The answer was obvious...he is Falstaff and he never leaves loose ends.
I stayed on Shemzu for another two days saying my goodbyes to the woman I loved. And slowly the assassin within me woke up. I allowed the killer to come out to play. I intended to murder Falstaff and destroy “The Organisation” once and for all. The galaxy may burn in the fires of war but the instigator would not live to reap the rewards. I found redemption through love and now through the death of the one I loved I would find justice through vengeance.
Copyright © 2011 by Peter Jessop