I remember that night, it was near the end of summer and a cool breeze was causing my curtains to billow a little. I had my blanket pulled up to my chin and was wide awake. I never liked going to bed at the same routine of 8:00 p.m. each night and looked forward to staying up later when I was older.
Snuggled in I always enjoyed the car lights coursing across the bedroom wall from the cars passing down the road. I was 8 years old at the time. I often watched them move along the wall like a small beam of light from a flashlight only bigger and a pair. I would watch them dissipate and wait for second pair to come along. Some were brighter than others. Staring at them move along my wall often helped me to go to sleep along with the soft sound of a distant car motor.
There was nothing particularly different that night. Just lying in bed and waiting for my simple entertainment. Watching the lights come and go waiting for the next one to come along. Another light appeared, only this time it was single and moved slowly across the wall. Then it stopped. My young mind thought maybe the motorist realized he only had one light and must be checking his car. I continued to stare at the light waiting.
What happened next I will never forget… The light came off the wall and drifting slowly over to my bed and over the top of me. By this time I was terribly frightened and unable to move.
I remember Sunday school very well. The neighbor girl Becky Oehlman and I always went together dressed in our Sunday best. We would wear our full little dresses and our little hats on our heads, our mothers so proud of these angelic little girls. I remember the songs we learned, Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so. I remember the Easter celebrations, although not really understanding it fully back then or death for that matter.
The only thing I knew about death was what my grandmother told me when my father died. No-one else was willing to explain it to me, thinking my young mind would not comprehend it. For all I truly knew was you ceased to exist and in the ground you went never to be seen again. I never grasped the concept and never thought about my own demise. What child does at that age when you live for the moment enjoying every long day and every long night. On the other hand, this was a night not to be forgotten unto this day.
Being a sensitive child without a brave bone in my body, I wanted to scream! But I was so terrified I couldn’t move or choke a noise out of my throat. The light grew bigger and started to take a little shape. I pulled the covers over my head and quietly cried thinking some monster was coming for me. But all at once I felt a peace come over me and slowly lowered the covers from over me. I faced the light and at once it passed through my small body going straight through my heart. I gasped! I had never felt such a thing before, and then I heard “grandpapa” and felt him all around me. I had no concept of what just happened and sat up. Not frightened anymore, but curious.
Within seconds of this happening to me our phone was ringing. I got out of bed and walked to my bedroom door to listen pressing my ear against the door. I heard my mother answer and she began to sob. It was grandmother calling, grandfather just died.
My grandfather was very close to me, he taught me all about understanding other people and never to judge them. He always told me, “Never judge another for you do not know their circumstance.” He would walk me through nature, showed me everything he could and explained things to me. I suppose he was taking the place of the father I had lost. He always told me I was special and I loved him with all my heart. He was a quiet gentle man, never loud or boisterous always gentle and kind to everyone. My grandparents didn’t have much they were simple people. Grandfather was a farmer and went through the great depression like everyone else from their time.
At that moment and that time, I knew my grandfather came to me to say I love you and there is life after death. Only human body death… our souls live on we are never gone or far away.
In each lifetime, each person creates various dramas that teach them how to love, but the soul lives on it does not die. You keep returning until you learn to love, and to create and to express your God Self. Rosemary Altea