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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
ME N' GUS
By Tom Hyland
Posted: Saturday, December 20, 2008
Last edited: Saturday, December 20, 2008
This short story is rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent stories by Tom Hyland
· CHICKEN SCRATCHES ?
· DADDY ... ADDENDUM
· DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?
· THREE LITTLE ... EDS !
· ALL MY CARS - PART 2
· ALL MY CARS
· AU-TO-MO-BILES
           >> View all 79
At our first encounter, him running over my foot,
I probably did CUSS!
But, now, months later, two Happy Bachelors co-exist,
No PUSS - No MUSS - No FUSS -
Just two male-men, ME N' GUS!




ME N’ GUS

© - Tom Hyland - 12-20-08


As a result of reading MR. ED’s “The Christmas Mouse” - which is only a Dream about a Real mouse, I thought a true story might be apropos.
So, here goes!

ED - Shades of SPEEDY GONZALES -

Your tomato just reminded me - need to add PEANUTS to my list for Fat Ole GUS.

Although I put down some Xmas nuts for him, guess the shells of walnuts, brazil nuts and pecans are too hard for him? An occasional almond works tho' so he ain't starvin' yet!

As there has been no 'evidence' (as in mouse-turds) anywhere else, I assume he is keeping mostly to his kitchen corner 'domain.' As no other family members have yet to appear, it is also assumed that he is, in fact, a MALE! That's a good thing, because preggy females could present a bi-lateral housing problem. Ya know, that old 'Three's a Crowd' adage applies here.

Two Bachelors can get along fine - no muss, no fuss - live and let live! The fact that he's nocturnal helps also, rarely 'bump into' one another, ya know. And beings I felt no need to advertise his presence to my Lady Friend, Gus is apparently cunning enough to remain covert while she is visiting. WISE MOVE!

I've also strategically placed my one and only broom OUTSIDE the trailer, under the steps - just a safety precaution, doncha' know! Another good sign that he is still alive and well, is the fact that no STENCH has yet been detected - IPSO FACTO!

I've yet to figure out where he is obtaining H2O SUPPLY. No 'evidence' anywhere on the counter-top, nor anywhere around the sink. I do maintain a large clear glass vase, half-full of water on the kitchen tile floor, for watering plants with house temperature wasser, but if he ever climbed up the table leg, then tablecloth and got in it - he would DROWN!

If that ever occurs, then me n’ JOHN will havta perform a military, lost-at-sea funeral - FLUSH - WHOOSH! ADIOS MUCHACHO!

The only other source within, is the bathroom, and that's a good 32 feet away - and no 'droppings' ever there. So, I surmise that wherever the entrance hole in the floor is, he must make nightly excursions to the exterior? Lord knows, we've had plenty of rainfall.

Well, that's all for now -

From ME N' GUS to YOU N' SPEEDY -

HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!

© - TKH - 12-20-08



 

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Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Two Bachelors can get along fine - no muss, no fuss - live and let live!

Excellent! And may you two bachelors co-exist very happily together, for a very long time!

As for Speedy, I suspect he sneaks into our house quite frequently, but I ain't gonna tell my pets or my wife that! And I am giving him a nice juicy tomato for Christmas. And Feliz Navidad to you and good old Gus!
Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines
Ha! It's me and Gus all the way. He's a hermit. He's nocturnal. Us hermit night-people gotta stick together!!! And just like me, Gus drinks beer, not water (if you get up at 3:52 AM, you will see Gus weaving back to his hermitage in the corner). Lest we miss an opportunity -- when Chrysler goes belly-up and hits Chapter 11, they'll have to dump all their executives -- and we can make Gus their new Chairman of the Board. Yay, Gus! Yay, Gus!!!

Ted
Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford
Very entertaining read Tom. Are you sure you didn't house break him?

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