Computer Users Anonymous…
Ignoring your children?
Your husband sleeps alone at night?
Your dog went out and never came back in?
You are losing weight but cannot figure why?
When you sleep, which isn’t often, you dream of making love to your computer?
All symptoms: all are perfectly easy to be diagnosed,
With our doctors with ten minutes of experience,
We can diagnose this problem, and remedy it in an easy plan,
We call it our 1000 step program, each step designed and made appropriate just for you,
We provide it all, the paper, the pen, the eraser and any and all glue.
We have board certified psychologists, fresh out of psychotherapy themselves,
So you know for sure they are experienced and have gone through this themselves,
No expense will be spared; you will have a fine room, with a bed and toilet,
Over looking the septic tank and the landfill where you will know your computer is being dumped,
No more will you forget the face of your husband, the names of your children, or their sex,
Do you forget when the last time was that you and your husband hugged?
We will make sure you remember this, as it is imperative in your treatment…
All the above and more, heat in your room, bright sunny veranda to meditate on,
All the alcohol & stimulants you can take, all the best drugs, we spare no expense,
All for a pittance of a price; so call us to take advantage of this great opportunity,
Our phone lines are open now, and if you call right now, you will receive,
Ten 5-minute sessions with our own personal guru from Tibet,
He to has overcome his addiction to the computer, through alcohol & drug therapy…
(Disclaimer: not to be associated with other offers, if under a doctor’s care for anything, please notify our call takers- all the above is subject to a credit check, computer background check, and the fact if your checking account has enough currency to cover the amount we need to have, pre-delivered via computer check, certified check, money order, or we take cash – absconding with said cash is not a part of our service, don’t believe what you have read on the internet or newspapers or police blotters, we are a reputable organization, here to help you the computer addicted)