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Barbara Lynn Terry

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Natalie - A Journey Into Womanhood - Par II
By Barbara Lynn Terry
Friday, May 22, 2009

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

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Please read Part I first because I could not post this in one posting, because it is too long.

Chapter 4 - Tommy And Natalie


Why is it that father's can be so rude at times? I want Tommy to stay and be my friend. He has always shown me the cruel side of him, except in the last couple of days, he has been so sweet and caring. Tommy is the kind of boy that you can be friends with, if you show him just how brave you really are. The reason he likes me, I suspect, is because he is either gay, or something. I just don't know. Or maybe he is tired of all the snobs hanging on him. Tommy is not a snob, he is decent and has a caring heart.

"Tommy? Don't mind my daddy, he just wants me to be safe."

"I know, Natalie. But he didn't yell or anything like that. He just wanted to make sure I understood how to behave around a lady."

"He, uhm, he called me a lady?"

"Yes he did," and we all giggled a little at that.

I went over to daddy and gave him a hug. "Thanks daddy, for that wonderful compliment."

"It's okay punkin'. I like having two daughters. The way you, your mother and Jill get along so well, I guess I will accept you for who you are, no matter if you're a boy or a girl. I still love you, punkin'"

"Thanks daddy, you're the best daddy in the whole world." I gave him another hug

Tommy's mother said it was time for them to go, and I gave Tommy a hug and his mom too. "Mrs. Mason, may Tommy come over in the morning, and we can walk to school together?"

"Why yes dear, that is a very good idea. Tommy what do you think? Natalie's house is right on the way."

"Yes mom, I would like that."

I looked at Jill, and then at mom, and I asked them if that would be okay.

"Yes Natalie, I think it would be fine. With the three of you walking together, I won't worry so much."

"Natalie, tomorrow is Friday, and this weekend sis, we're going shopping for some clothes for you. But for tomorrow, I have another outfit you can wear. Okay?"

"Okay Jill, and thanks a lot for being my sister." I gave her the biggest hug I could manage, and then I walked Tommy and his mom to the door. I gave Tommy one more hug and watched them as they left in their car.

When they drove away, I went back into the living room. Mom and Jill were the only ones there. "Where's daddy?"

"He had some things to do, honey. And we need to talk, dear."

"Ok mom."

"Natalie, I want you to understand, that having a boyfriend at your age, can be a very good thing, or it can be a very bad thing. Jill and I are going to make sure you understand what is proper behavior for a girl, when she is with a boy."

"Ok mom."

"You know I was very proud of you today. You showed very good feminine manners. You were respectable and very respectful. Tommy's mother told me that she likes you, and that she knows your not strictly a physical girl. Not yet, anyway. Jill tells me that if you could, you'd like to have the operation to become a physical girl."

"Yes mother, I would. I never liked being a boy anyway. I mean, I always got teased and beat up, and all the girls laughed at me. But when I went to school as Natalie, no one laughed. I told the class exactly why I need to be Natalie, and there was only one boy who asked questions."

"That's good dear. I hear that even the teacher called you Natalie."

"Yes mom, she did."

"Well at least the teacher accepts you. But Natalie dear, there are ways that we must behave around a boy. This is very important that you know this. Even though you are not physically a girl yet, one thing you must never allow, and that is let a boy put his hand up inside your skirt or dress. You must never kiss a boy, for right now, on his mouth. You must never, ever, allow a boy to lie down with you, either on his or your bed, on the ground, or anywhere else. At least not until after your opertion dear, and you are 18. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes mother. Jill, Ginger and Sue, said they will help me too. I think that it is awsome having a sister and friends who care. And I love you too mom." I gave her a hug.

"Good. I made an appointment for you on Saturday to see a psychiatrist, who said she would like to meet you. Her name is Dr. Barbara St. Clair, and she is in her office on Saturdays."

"Okay mom."

"Natalie, it is okay with you, isn't it, if I walk to school with you and Tommy?"

"Yes Jill, it is. Is Ginger and Sue going to be walking with us too?"

"Yes. And what makes it all nice is, we all live in the same neighborhood. So there will be safety in numbers."

"Good sis, I like having friends. Finally." I said sadly, looking at the floor, and starting to cry.

"Honey, are you all right?" My mom asked sounding very concerned.

"I don't know mom." I said through my tears. "I mean, I never had any friends until I started to become Natalie. Why is that?" I was still crying and Jill and mom both came over to me and gave me hugs.

"Well honey, you know young people can be so cruel to us at times. But then there comes a time, when we show them that we are in charge of our destinies. That we're not going to let anyone tell us different. When I first saw you, I didn't even recognize you. You are very pretty for a young girl. And I am very proud of my youngest daughter."

"Th...Thanks m..mom."

"It will be okay honey, you'll see."

"Sis, When I first saw you too, I didn't know who you were, either. But I'm glad we met like we did, because it showed me that you were serious about being the girl that you are. I am so going to love having a sister."

"Well girls, everything is done, let's see what's on television."

"Ok mom," I said sitting between her and Jill.

Mom turned on the television but there was nothing but violent movies on. So we turned it to TMC and Tammy And The Millionaire was on, so we watched that. I like watching the Tammy movies, they are so funny and yet teaches a moral too. Debbie Watson played Tammy in this one, and it was really funny. I like the way Tammy's innocent river style just seems to overwhelm those around her. I kinda wish I was like Tammy, in a way though. The character Tammy in all of the Tammy movies is so refreshing to watch. After Tammy was over, it was bedtime, so I kissed mom and Jill goodnight, and gave them hugs and told them I loved them. Then Jill and I went up to our rooms, and got ready for bed.

I don't like mornings, they come too quickly. I turned off my alarm, swung both feet out of bed and went into the bathroom to do whatever. Then I ran my bath water, and took a nice soothing bath. Mom had bought me some perfumed soap yesterday while I was in school. So I used that. Now I smelled like a flower garden. I went in my bedroom, and Jill had already been in there with a complete set of clothes.

The dress she gave me to wear, was grass green, with little yellow flowers on the skirt part. The neckline had a little lace from shoulder to shoulder around the front. I got dressesd, and put mom's wig on, my wig now, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was beautiful. I put on some makeup, and mascara, and went downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning sis," Jill said with a genuine smile.

"Good morning sis, good morning mom," I said giving both of them a big hug. "Jill I just love this dress. It really is my color, don't you think?"

"Yes sis I really do. I don't wear it anymore, although I may ask to borrow it every now and then."

"And you can too, Jill. Mom, I'll just have a piece of jelly toast and milk."

"All right, dear."

I sat there eating my toast and drinking my milk, and then I dabbed my mouth and it was time to leave. Just as we got up from the table, the doorbell rang. Since we were on our way out, Jill and I answered it together. It was Tommy and the girls. We said our goodbyes to mom, and said we were leaving, and then we closed the door and started walking.

As we got onto the sidewalk and headed toward school. Jill, Ginger, and Sue walked behind Tommy and I. As we walked I couldn't take my eyes off of Tommy. He was so handsome, well you know, for eleven years old. But I was feeling like I should be with him always. Yeah okay, so I'm eleven years old, and your problem with that is?

Chapter 5 - School and Dr. St. Clair.

As we headed for the school, Tommy asked me if I wanted to watch a movie on television, Saturday night. I asked what movie, and he goes, "who cares, just so I can be with you." I smiled and put my head on his arm as we walked. I looked back at Jill and the girls, who were just giving me the thumbs up, and smiling. I began to wonder again, if eleven years old was too young to have a boyfriend, but I decided that he wasn't a real boyfriend, just a friend I could spend time with. As we got near the school, we started hearing the tauntings of the boys. You all know the saying 'Natalie and Tommy sitting in tree,  k i s s i n g...', well you know it. We just smiled at each other, because if they were taunting us, it meant they were jealous. I don't know exactly what it was, but when I was with Tommy, I had this really nice feeling inside. When he walked next to me, or we cuddled, I felt warm and safe.

We got to the school building, and one of Tommy's friends came over and asked Tommy if "she" puts out, and was that reason he was with me. Tommy let him have it a good one, and Mark hit the ground with a big thud. We all laughed, and Miss Hawkins came over and wanted to know what was going on.

"Nothing Miss Hawkins, Mark just kinda tripped, because he was laughing at Tommy and I. So we thought it was funny, and we laughed."

"All right children, come on now, time to get in class."

We walked into the building, and I guess Mark didn't have anything to say, but I bet he will never insult me again. Tommy was strong for eleven years old, and he used to laugh at me and pick on me something terrible, until I came to school as Natalie, and all of a sudden he was very nice to me. He even told me it was good I finally decided to stop pretending to be the boy I could never be. I agreed with him. Tomorrow at nine o'clock in the morning, I see this psychiatrist, Dr. St. Clair. I wonder what kind of lady she is. Well anyway, for today I concentrated on what Miss Hawkins said, and wrote things down in my notebook, so I wouldn't forget. Then she gave us our homework, and the school day was over. I picked up my books, but Tommy came over and took them from me.

"Natalie, from now on, I'll carry these for you, they look kinda heavy."

I smiled that girlish smile, and put my arm in his, and we walked out of the building. Mark, Jimmy and Bobby were standing on the playground, just watching us leave. Tommy looked in their direction and they decided to leave. We walked home together, and we talked about tomorrow being Saturday, and what we were going to do, when I got back from Dr. St. Clair's.

"Natalie, have you ever seen this lady before?"

"No Tommy I haven't, but I was told that she is very nice."

"All right, I just was wondering is all."

We got to my house, and I invited Tommy in. Jill and the girls came up behind us and went BOOO, and I jumped, then we all giggled. We went into our rooms, while Tommy sat on the sofa. I put my books on my dresser, looked at myself in the mirror, and went back downstairs to sit with Tommy. Mom came out of the kitchen and asked me if I would help her make the salad, and I said yes. She offered Tommy something to drink, which he accepted, and we all went into the kitchen.

'So how was school today, dear?" My mother asked, as she continued to prepare dinner.

"It was fine mom. Tommy and I talked a lot during lunch today, and we decided that we were just going to be good friends, instead of boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Well, I think that whether you are boyfriend and girlfriend or just good friends, I think you two are very nice together. Tommy, your mother even told me that since you met Natalie, you have been more than very helpful around the house, helping her with things."

"Yes ma'am. I kinda just felt that if I wanted to see Natalie, I needed to behave, and help as much as I could."

"That's good Tommy. You are a very nice boy."

"Thank you, ma'am. A lot of people say I look old enough to be sixteen years old. I want to be eleven for a while at least. I'll be sixteen someday, but not right now tho."

"Good for you, Tommy."

"Tommy," I said, looking kinda concerned about his opinion, "tomorrow when I get home from seeing Dr. St. Clair, Mom, Jill and I are going shopping for a bit. Is it all right if I call you when we get home?"

"Yes Natalie, it is all right. I don't know what love is yet, but if this is it, then I do love to be with you. It seems whenever I am with you, I seem happier, and I can do more things. Mrs. Crane, would it be all right if we went bowling on Sunday, after church?"

"Why Tommy, that is a good idea. I'd like to go bowling, and I'm sure Jill would too. We could pick teams."

"I'd like to pick teams, Mrs. Crane. It makes it more fun."

"Yes it does, Tommy. Natalie, what do you think?"

"Yes mother, I'd really like that."

"Okay then, Sunday after church we'll all go bowling. Tommy, did you call your mother, and tell her where you are, dear?'

"May I use your phone, Mrs. Crane."

"Yes, Tommy, it is right in the living room by the couch." Mom looked at me, and gave me those roving eyes, as if to say, 'go with him.' So I joined Tommy in the living room, while he called his mother.

"Hello mom? I'm at Natalie's, we were talking about going bowling on Sunday right after church. Oh really? That would be cool, mom, and thanks."

"Well? What did she say?"

"She said that sounded like a good idea, and she wants to come too, so then it would be us against the parents. Natalie I have to go home and eat dinner, I'll call you later. Okay?"

"All right Tommy, I'll walk you to the door." I walked him to the door, and gave him a big hug, and told him I'd be waiting for his call. Then I went back into the kitchen to talk to mom.

"Mom, when you were with dad, before you got married, did you ever have that funny feeling right in here?" I asked, pointing to my tummy.

She smiled at me, and then she said with a beaming smile, "why yes dear. When your father and I were dating, we always did things together, like bowling, swimming, jogging, studying, and just sitting and cuddling, while we kissed. I always had that sort of funny, excited feeling right in my tummy. I was very happy with your father when we were in school, and then when we got married. He has accepted you as his daughter, which shows what a wonerful man he is, dear."

"Thanks mom. Tommy said he will call later, after he has had dinner."

"That sounds very good dear. I'm glad that you have found a decent boy to be friends with. His mother and I talked about you two, when she was over here, and we thought that if you two could stay friends, you could end up being married to each other. But that is a long way off yet. But just remember honey, that it is never too early to learn about boys and their ways. Tommy is just starting puberty, which means his hormones are starting to take over his body, and he will want to experiment with sex, and will be looking at other girls, even when he is with you. You need to know, that he can look, but if he is going to be your boyfriend, he isn't allowed to touch. Do you know what I mean by that, Natalie?"

"Yes Mother I do, and I will make sure he is MY boyfriend, and not anyone else's."

"Good girl. All right let's put out the food in the dining room, and go and get Jill."

I went to get Jill, and when we got to the table, daddy was already there. After he said grace, we sat down to eat.

"Natalie,"daddy said looking at me with a smile. "I understand that Sunday you, your mom and Jill are going bowling. Do you mind if I come along? I haven't been bowling in a long time. Besides, I want to do something nice with my three beautiful ladies."

"Yes daddy, that would be great. Tommy's mom is coming too. Then there will be two teams, the adults against the kids." We all laughed a little at that, but mom and Jill thought that was very good idea.

The meal was delicious as usual because mom and I made it (smiles). Mom made the chicken southern style, and I mashed down the potatoes and made the salad, then I put the salt, pepper and butter on the table. We usually had full meals, because daddy worked, and mom worked too, and also worked to keep the house in order. Plus her and Jill were there to make sure I did my deportment lessons, even tho I didn't need them. I just did them to make mom feel like she was teaching me something. That was very important to her. Ginger and Sue would come over every now and then and help too. But I already knew how to put makeup on, I know how to sit, and I knew how to act in public, I knew how to eat like a lady, and dab the corners of my mouth, when I was finished.

After dinner it was the usual washing, and cleaning up the kitchen. And when that was done, we all went into the living room to watch a little television. Just as we sat down to watch the Saturday night movie, the phone rang. Jill answered it, and then looked at me with a mock evil smile.

"It's for you Natalie, it's a boy." she said trailing the word boy like for a mile.

I grabbed the phone out of her hand, and she hit me with the couch pillow, and I just stuck my tongue out at her. "Hi Tommy, I was waiting for you to call."

"Yes, Tommy, you can come over tomorrow after we get back from shopping. I'm going to be up early anyway, because I have to see Dr. St. Clair. Then we're going right from her office to the mall, because there's a few things I have to pick up. And then we're coming right home, so I would say that we'd be home about one o'clock. Would that be all right Tommy? Good Tommy, I'll see you then. Luv ya."

I hung up the phone, and Jill and mom just looked at me, and said..."luv ya?" Then mom said, "sounds like you too can't stay away from each other for too long."

"Oh mom, he's just a friend, and we kid around like that all the time."

"Kid around, huh? That's some kidding around."

"Mom," Jill said in my defense, "Natalie has been very cautious not to let Tommy get too close, so he doesn't get the wrong idea. But they have been saying a lot of luv yas, tho."

"Is that so? Well young lady, I only hope you know what we talked about, and follow that, because otherwise if you don't, a girl gets a nasty reputation. If you know what I mean. Where did you ever pick up that saying, anyway Natalie?"

"Kinda mom. But don't worry, Tommy and I have talked about this, and he agrees that when we are together, until we get older, and out of high school, we should just be friends. He said there will be plenty of time to do adult things, but right now we're still children, and we should be kids while we can."

"He said that did he? Good for him. Well, whatever , you just remember that you are a lady, and he is a gentleman."

"Yes mother, I will."

We weren't really interested in watching television, so we just sat there and talked. Mom and Jill told me many things I should watch out for when I am with a boy, including Tommy. Mom said that Tommy is just now coming into puberty, and that means his hormones will get the better of his judgement at times. Mom also told me too, that she could see that I was starting to enter puberty too, and we needed to get me on female hormones as quick as possible. Because if we didn't, the testosterone in my body, would deepen my voice like a man's and would grow hair on my body. That is something I didn't want. I only hope that Dr. St. Clair had an idea to stop this testosteroe in its tracks, before it got too far.

So, you know time always flies when you're having fun, and it was bedtime. I had to get up at eight o'clock in the morning, so I could get ready to go to see Dr. St. Clair. So I went and washed up, and got into my nightgown, and got into bed. I must've been really tired, because I don't even remember closing my eyes, when all of a sudden the alarm went off. That's how it goes I guess, when you're really tired. So, I got up, went into the bathroom, and took my shower, I used the perfumed soap mom bought for me, because I wanted to smell nice for Dr. St. Clair. As I was getting dried off, Jill knocked on the door.

"Natalie, I put another nice outfit for you on your bed. When you're finished drying off, I want you to wear it. Okay?"

"Okay sis, and thanks."

"Anytime sis."

I finished drying, and then put some lotion all over me and the some body powder, and went out to get dressed. As I went into my room, I saw what dress she had put on my bed. It was her favorite dress too. It was a knee length burgundy dress, that you could wear to a dance, out to dinner, on a date of any kind. Jill really loved this dress, and she is letting me wear it? Wow! But then I sat there wondering what I had done to deserve this honor, because Jill protected this dress with her life. She must've been watching from the door, when she came in my room.

"What's the matter sis? Don't you like the dress?"

I just started crying, and she held me. Mom came into the room, and saw me crying, and wanted to know what was going on. Jill told her that she was letting me wear her favorite dress today, and these were happy tears. Mom joined in the hug, and told me I'd better get dressed, because we had to leave shortly, and that we could get something to eat, while we were out.

"Sis," I said through my tears, "what did I do to deserve this? I mean I know we're sisters, but this is your favorite dress."

"Natalie, that's what sisters are for. To share things, even favorite things. Come on now, let's get you dressed so we can all get going. All right?"

"All right."

I got into the dress, and then put a little mascara on my eyelashes, and a light pink lipstick on my lips, and I was ready to go. Dr. St. Clair's office was on the other side of town. It took us about twenty minutes to get there. After we had parked in the parking lot, we went into the building, and straight to her office. As we went into the office, mom told the secretary my name and who I was to see. She told us to have a seat, and Dr. St. Clair would be with us momentarily. We sat in the waiting room, and then this lady, with greying hair called my name. This was Dr. St. Clair. She was about fiftyish, but still had a decent figure. Her makeup was beautiful, and she had a very nice smile. We went into her office, and sat down.

"Hello Natalie, I'm Dr. Barbara St. Clair. Your mother tells me that you wish to be a girl, physically. Is that right, dear?"

"Yes ma'am," I said sitting with my knees together and my hands folded in my lap.

"All right. I have some questions I have to ask you. Do you think you can answer them, without your mother and sister in the room?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Mrs. Crane, would you and your oldest daughter step out into the waiting room, please, while I talk to Natalie?" Mom and Jill left the office, and Dr. St. Clair sat down and smiled. "Now Natalie, I want you to tell me in your own words, why you think you are a girl."

I told Dr. St. Clair what I had told the class at school, and why I felt I was a girl, and I also told her that I didn't want to be a girl, because I was a girl. I told her how all the boys called me names, and made fun of me, whenever I was alone in the hallway at school. I also told her that some of the boys had beaten me up too, because they thought I was a sissy.

"Now Natalie, Have you ever dressed in your mother's or sister's clothes, when they were home or weren't home?"

"Yes ma'am, I have, everytime I was home alone. Then I decided one day, since I didn't fit in anywhere, I was going to see how I was treated as a girl. So I went into Jill's room, and took some of her clothes, and went for a walk. Jill and her two friends saw me, and Jill asked me where I got the skirt I was wearing from. She didn't know it was me at first, until she came up to me, and looked at me in the face. She asked me why I was wearing her clothes, and I told her, I needed to fit in somewhere. We then went to the mall and had a soda, and one of the boys from school came over, and asked Jill who her friend was. Even he didn't recognize me until I faced him and told him my name and that I was Jill's sister."

"Oh really? Well Natalie, I can see that by the way you talk, that you seem nice and feminine. But I go just a little further than most. I do what is called a fishing trip. That is where I take the prospective "girl" out on a shopping trip, to see how "she" acts in public. If I see one ounce of the "girl" acting like a boy, the shopping trip is over, and so is the charade. But I don't see that happening here. Would you like to go with me on a shopping trip?"

"Oh yes ma'am. I would really like that very much."

"Good. From what I see here, I don't think we will have any problems. Will we?"

"No ma'am. I will be a very good girl, I promise."

"I know you will Natalie."

"Doctor, do you think that you get it so that I could get my name changed legally, to Natalie Ellen Crane, instead of this beasty boy's name?"

"Beasty, huh? I like that. Only a girl would say it like that. I think we're ready to have your mother and sister come back in now."

Mom and Jill came back in the office and Dr. St. Clair explained what she thought.

"Mrs. Crane, I really don't see any mental illness here. Natalie knows who she is, and what she needs to do to be happy. I saw nothing but a girl sitting in my office, while we talked. Now here's what I will do. I will come over to your house, next week Saturday, and I will take Natalie out with me, on a shopping trip. This shopping trip includes lunch. It is my way of seeing just how serious the client is, about her identity. If she proves to me, that she is indeed a girl, I will recommend that the childrens court change her name and gender. With my written statement, the court will go along with it. You know years ago, I had a transgendered patient who was so much like an angel, she should have been born a girl. I see those same qualities in Natalie. So Natalie, is it a date, next week Saturday?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair."

"Good." Then Dr. St. Clair did something unexpected. She gave me a hug.

We said our goodbyes, and left for our little shopping spree. Mom wanted to get me some clothes of my own, instead of wearing my sister's hand-me-downs. But the first stop at the mall, was the food court, so we could get something to eat. I had only a salad, and Jill and mom had a soda. After our lunch, we went to a few of the stores in the mall. One store was called Fine Lingerie For The Teenage Miss. We went in and looked at different sets of lingerie on hangers, some just in a pile on a table, and still others that came with very flimsy, see through pengoirs, baby dolls, and other see through nightgowns, and even the robes that came with some of them, weren't much better than the nightgown itself. Then there were bra and panty sets on hangers, that matched each other in color and there were even some that had garter belts included in the set. Mom bought me three pairs of matching bra and panty sets, five pairs of panties, five bras, five half slips and three full slips. She also bought me eight pairs of stay-up nylon stockings, in tan color. Mom paid the lady, and we went to the next store. This store, had dresses, skirts and blouses, as well as shoes of all kinds. There were skirt suits too, as well as formal, and semi-formal dresses. Mom had me try on everything in the store, I think. I tried on so many skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes, that I got the feeling we'd never leave. I mean shopping is fun and everything, but when you are doing the same thing over and over, it does get kinda boring. After settling on a nice peach semi-formal, knee length dress, three everyday go to school dresses, three skirt sets, with matching shell and blouse, and four pairs of shoes, we paid the lady and left. Since it was fall, and my coat just wasn't making the feminine scene anymore, we stopped at another store and mom picked out a very nice faux fur mid length coat in light pink. I love the color pink. I think it shows that a girl is a girl, and not a tom-boy. We left the mall and went to the car, where we put our purchases in the trunk, and then we headed home. As we pulled up in our driveway, Tommy was sitting on the front porch steps. He came around to the car, and opened my door. After giving each other a big hug and a kiss, Tommy helped us bring our packages in the house. I told Tommy to sit down, while we took these packages to my room.

"These are all for you, Natalie?"

"Yes Tommy, they are. My new wardrobe to be exact."

"Okay, I'll wait right here then."

Mom, Jill and I took my clothes up to my room, and we put my under things in my dresser, my skirt sets and dresses in the closet, along with my coat. The only thing we didn't get were jeans and pants, but mom said we would do that after Dr. St. Clair's shopping trip, next week. When everything was put away, mom and Jill went down to the kitchen, while I joined Tommy in the living room. I sat really close to him, and cuddled as I put my head on his shoulder. Tommy, for eleven years old, was pretty much a man, and was starting to get hair on his legs, and his underarms. I could see the hair on his legs, because his pants were a little short on him, like he was wearing capris or something. But he said they were just his "bumming" around clothes, so he didn't care. Tommy was also strong.

"Tommy? I never noticed before, but you have nice muscles."

"Yeah, I lift weights with my friends. and not those three stooges I used to hang around with. This is a weight lifting club actually, because my mom said I need to be strong to make it in this world. I thought she meant I had to be a bully, but, when I met you, I knew that being a bully wasn't right."

"But Tommy, you already knew me though."

"No Natalie. I knew a boy whose name was Nathan. But then he disappeared and there was this girl Natalie, who appeared in Nathan's place. I wanted to be Natalie's friend for like always. This girl Natalie and I became friends, and we watched a lot television, talked, hugged and gave each other kisses. Then I felt different about this girl. I don't know exactly what it is, but I've talked to my mom, and she asked me if I really liked you, and I said yes. Natalie, I really do like you, a lot."

"Thanks Tommy, and I talked to my mom too, and she said if we are friends long enough, we just may be getting married to each other. Mom and I have a lot of talks about you though, Tommy. All of them are nice talks too. I really like being with you, and when I saw you on the steps when we came home, my heart started beating faster, because I was glad to see you."

"And I was glad to see you too, Natalie." So we just sat there, and I curled up next to him, with those funny feelings coming back in my tummy.

Mom called me into the kitchen, and I sat down, and we talked about Tommy. "But mom, shouldn't Tommy be in here too, then. I mean we are talking about him."

"You're right dear, he should be in here too. I need to let you both know exactly what I expect of you both, while you are together. I mean I know we talked about this before, but you are not getting any younger, and as you get older, you will develop feelings for each other that you will want to explore. So tell Tommy we would like to talk to him too." I went to get Tommy, and we both sat down at the table, and Mom started again. "Tommy, I know that you and Natalie want to be together, and you even said you'd like to take her for a soda. You also said that you'd like to go to a movie with her. Your mother and I have talked about this, and we feel that if you are going to be together, away from the house, that you should have one of us, either me or your mother, chaperone. You two are very young yet, and you don't really know what kind of trouble you can get into, if you go beyond just the cuddling, hugging and kissing hello and goodbye. We are making sure that you are a gentleman, and that Natalie is a lady, at all times. Tommy, you do know what we mean by improper behavior, don't you?"

"Yes, Mrs, Crane, I do. I will make sure that we are just good friends for now. But Mrs. Crane, when I see Natalie, I have these funny feelings that I can't help. When I am at home, Natalie is on my mind quite a lot."

"Yes dear, what you are going through is what we call puberty. That is when your hormones start to "kick" in, and they make you feel things for people of the opposite sex. In your case, you have feelings for Natalie, and she has feelings for you. When her hormones "kick" in, she will have more than just friendly feelings for you, and I hope that those feelings do not get you into situations, where you want to explore each other's bodies. If you would like, I could have my husband explain what boys go through during puberty. I've talked to your mother about this, and she said that since your father left home years ago, that maybe having a man explain it properly to you, would be a very good thing. Would you like to talk to my husband about what we call the facts of life, Tommy?"

"Okay Mrs. Crane, I think that would be cool."

"Cool huh?" (Smiles), "yes Tommy that would be very cool. I'll tell him when he gets home. Then maybe later on, or maybe tomorrow, you two can sit down and have that talk, while watching football or something."

"Okay Mrs. Crane. I'd love to watch football with Natalie's dad." That's when I gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"And Natalie, when we get back from church tomorrow, we need to have a talk too, about how to act when you are with a boy."

"Yes mother."

"Right now tho, It is all right for you two to be with each other, as long as you are in the house, either at Tommy's or here. And Tommy, While you are here, you are not allowed in Natalie's room, just like she is not allowed in yours, at your house. Do you two understand what I just said.?" We nodded yes together, and the talk was over, but Tommy had to get going home. I walked him to the door and gave hin a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He gave me a kiss on the cheek too, and left.

After Tommy left, we made dinner, and sat down to eat, and we talked. Daddy was all ears, when we were talking about Tommy and I. When mom got to the point of Tommy starting puberty, early, she asked daddy, if he would have "the talk" with Tommy.

"David, Tommy's dad ran out on them years ago, and all Tommy has for a parent, is his mother. Brenda and I have been talking, and she said, if you wanted to, you could have that talk with Tommy, about what boys go through, and what happens to their bodies after puberty sets in."

"Okay, I guess, but wouldn't that be better from one of Tommy's uncles though? I mean, I know you two have talked about it, and I would be honored to tell Tommy what he is now going through. But, doesn't Tommy have any uncles?"

"No David, he doesn't, his mother never had any brothers, and Tommy has four aunts. So you see the dilemma we're in. Natalie and Tommy like each other a lot, and I just want him to know that his body is starting to change, and what those changes mean. I have talked to Natalie, and she seems to understand it very well."

"All right then, after church if Tommy comes over, we can watch football or something and I can explain the "facts of life" to him."

"Thank you David."

We finished dinner, and mom, Jill and I cleaned up, and went in the living room to watch a little television, while daddy went out in the garage.

"Mom, I know from what you've said, that what a normal girl goes through, I won't be, and you said I was lucky. Why am I so lucky.?"

Mom and Jill exchanged one of those looks, and then they both just laughed. "Well Natalie, you're still physically a boy yet, and you don't have the insides that Jill and I do. You never will. But that doesn't make you any less of a girl, either. Dr. St. Clair will presecribe what are called hormones. They will help your body develop, like the girl you want to be. Then in couple of years, say around 14 or 15, I will speak to Dr. St. Clair, about the surgery part. Now honey, that is going to hurt for a bit."

"It's all right mom, as long as I can be Natalie Ellen Crane, forever."

"Good girl." I got smiles and hugs from both mom and Jill.

After we had cleaned everythng away from the dinner dishes, and washed the table, the stove and around the sink, we sat down to talk some more. It was one of those talks a mother gives her daughter, when she first becomes interested in a boy, just to make sure we understand how to properly behave, when we are with a boy. Mom and Jill were doing all they could to make me understand, that being a girl, was more than just wearing feminine clothes, and having a girl's name.

"Natalie, I want you to know tho, that being a girl, growing into a woman, is more than just wearing the clothes, and having a nice girl's name. Being female is a discipline, a way of life that we who were born as girls, know from little on up. We know because we play with our dolls, and we try to copy what we see our mothers and fathers do. By the time we are in our teens, we get baby sitting positions, to help us take care of children better, so we can be decent mothers. Even though boys and men do cry at times, and care for others, they can't do it the way we do it. They care, but in a masculine manner. We care with tenderness, nurturing, love as only a mother can. We keep the house clean, do the shopping, cook the meals, raise the children, and some of us do all of that as a single mother too. You and Jill are very lucky to have a mother and a father who love you very much. You are our children, and it is our responsibility to make sure you are safe, clothed, fed, and cared for, until you go out on your own. And even at that Natalie, we will still love you, like for always, because no matter how old you get, you are still our child. Do you understand, dear?"

"Yes mother, I do. Jill, Ginger and Sue have been teaching me things too. I am so thankful to have a very supportive family and friends. I mean I am just eleven years old, but I feel like I'm older somehow."

Mom and Jill smiled at me, and then Jill said. "Natalie, girls mature faster than boys do, and you seem to be maturing at the rate a natural girl would. Your decision to become a phsyical girl, I feel is the right choice for you. When you are not here, mom and I have a lot of talks about how well you are doing, and so quickly, in learning to be the girl that you have always been."

I gave Jill a big hug, "Thank you Jill. I'm so glad I have a very decent sister."

We talked some more about the facts of life, again, and then it was time for bed. I gave mom and Jill a good night hug and kiss, and went into the den to give dad a hug and kiss too.

"Good night daddy. I love you."

"Good night punkin, and I love you too."

I went up to my room, and got my bath going, so I could go to bed clean. Mom always said a girl takes a bath or a shower at least twice a day, once in the morning, and once before bed. Mom told me that girls need to be cleaner than boys, anyway. After my bath, I got into my nice frilly pink nightgown, and felt very feminine. I got under the covers, and put my head on the pillow, and the next thing I know, it's morning. Who invented mornings anyway? I got up, and went to run my bath, and this time I put in some nice lavender crystals. I soaked in the tub for a while, and just let the lavender scent sink into me all over. Then I washed up, and rinsed off with the shower head. I patted myself dry with a nice soft terry towel, and went to get dressed. Jill had put another dress, slip, and panty and bra set on my bed. Why was she giving me her clothes that she didn't wear anymore, since I now have my own clothes? Oh well, I guess she is just letting me have the things she doesn't wear anymore, instead of throwing them out. I put the bra and panty set on, and then the full slip, and sat down to brush my hair, and put on my makeup. I wasn't allowed to use any eye makeup, except for mascara. When I was finished, I took the dress and stepped into it, and zipped it up, as far as I could. Just then, Jill came into my room, and finished zipping me up.

"How do you like this dress, sis?"

"It's really pretty, sis. I like the lace on the sleeves and the hem, and the peach color is really beautiful. Thanks sis, for everything." I gave her a big hug and a sisterly kiss of the cheek.

"Natalie, this is what sisters do for each other. We give things we think the other will love, and enjoy. I also brought something else for you too. Close your eyes, sis."

I closed my eyes, and felt something being place around my neck. "Okay sis, you may open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes and I saw the most beautiful pendant hanging from a thin, gold chain. The pendant part, came down to just above the breast (if I had any. Oh well, maybe someday tho). "Oh sis, this is so beautiful, and it looks like a ruby too. Thank you so much, sis, you are so wonderful to me."

"Think nothing of it dear sister. I'm only glad I have a sister to share things with."

"Girls," mom yelled up the stairs, "it's time we were going. Your father is already in the car waiting."

"I guess we're being called Natalie. Come on, let's go."

We went downstairs, and got our coats, and off to church we went. When I got into the car, daddy noticed the different scents, we were all wearing. Then he sniffed in my direction, and took a very long look at me.

"Natalie, I don't know how I ever thought you were a boy. But looking at you now, like this, I can see that you never were. I'm so proud of my three girls."

Then he turned around, and started the car, mom turned to me and just smiled. We arrived at church, and when everyone saw us coming, they just had to tell me how pretty I was. I was scared at first, because this is the first time I attended church as a girl. The pastor of the church looked at us as we sat down, and then he began with a song, called Praise To The Lord. I knew this song, because we had sang it so many times, even at home. Then he began talking about the lost sheep, and how the shepard went out and looked for the lost sheep. Then he looked directly at me, when he said, "...and so, if we have thirty and three, and one goes astray, do we not look for the one who goes astray, leaving the thirty and two? I want everyone to know, that God has a plan for everyone of us, and we have to follow that plan, regardless of where it leads us. We had a lost sheep for many years, and today that sheep was found, and brought back into the fold. It is my pleasure to welcome back to our little fold of believers, Miss Natalie Ellen Crane."

Everyone looked at me, and the murmurs started. I thought maybe they were talking nasty about me being the girl I so need to be. But then, Mr. Franklin Richards stood up. Mr. Richards was a tall man, over six feet, and he worked at the mill. "Pastor, there was a little talk amongst ourselves, and we came to a conclusion. If God has a plan for all of us, then it is His plan that Natalie Ellen Crane is to be the girl, He intends her to be. This is a child of innocence that has been blessed by God, and we here in this congregation, welcome her too, to our 'little fold' as you put it, pastor."

"Thank you Richard, and thank you all for being Christians with a Christian spirit. This is what Jesus is all about, accepting others, even if they are different. God bless everyone here, through His Son Jesus, and may He grant you all of your prayers. May we all come into the aisle now for the circle of faith.?" We all got out of our seats, and joined in a circle, by holding hands with the person next to us on both sides. "Does anyone have any special prayers to be said for anyone, for any reason?"

Margaret Sooner, an elderly member of the parish, and in her late sixties, said she had a special prayer for me. "Paster, may we pray to the Lord God, that Natalie Ellen Crane, become the decent lady that she has shown us that she is, forever and ever, through Jesus, our Lord and Saviour?"

"Yes Margaret, very good. You have said it well. Anyone else?" Several parishoners said prayers for loved ones, and parishoners that were ill. When no one else had any prayers to say for anyone, we said the Lord's Prayer, and then wished everyone a good week ahead, and then we headed for home.

We didn't go right home, tho. We stopped at the mall to get something to eat. This would the first time daddy has seen me behave like a young lady, in public. I ordered a salad and a milk, and waited for daddy to bring the food to the table, with mom helping. Daddy ordered a double burger, mom had just a salad, like I did and so did Jill. Jill had milk too, and mom and daddy had coffee. We sat there and ate our lunch, and talked some more.

"Natalie," daddy said to me, with a smile. "You behave very well for a young lady, like you were born a girl. I am so proud of my youngest daughter, becasue she has manners. I'm also proud of Jill and your mother too. They have done an exceptional job, in making you into a fine young lady." I didn't tell him, that most of my being a proper young lady, was something that came naturally to me, so mom, Jill and I, just let him believe that they had helped me.

Oh my gosh, I swear tho, if daddy really knew how long I had wanted to be accepted as the girl I really needed to be, he probably would go into a heart attack. So I just let him think it was something that happened suddenly. Of course we all know that is not how we become the girls, we have been all of our lives. When we got home, we all went into the house, and sat down in the living room.

"Natalie?" Mom asked inquiringly. "How did you feel when the pastor, and the members of the church welcomed you to the congregation?"

"I just felt all right, mom. I mean, I have always been going to the same church. But today, they welcomed me as the girl I am. That was really great, mom. But I didn't feel any different about it."

"I see. Well, you certainly took this like a lady, and I am very proud of you, for not saying anything that would change their minds."

"Why would I mom?"

"Well never mind now, Natalie. Next Saturday, Dr. St. Clair will come and take you shopping. She told me she will buy you a couple of things that every girl needs."

"Yes mother, I can't wait to go with her either. She seems very nice."

"Yes she does, doesn't she?"

"Anyway, what do you think we should make for dinner?"

"Oh I don't know, mom. I think maybe, uhmmmm, well how about meatloaf? We haven't had that for a while."

"Okay dear, meatloaf it is. Do you remember how to make it?"

"Yes mother, I do."

"Would you like to make dinner tonight, dear?"

"I would love to."

While we sat there talking, I couldn't help but think of how I had been treated today, and how I was treated by Jill, Ginger and Sue, when they first saw me, as a girl. I couldn't help but feel happy inside. I guess mom and Jill saw me wandering, and asked me if there was anything wrong.

"No mother, there isn't anything wrong. I was just thinking of how I was accepted today by the people and the pastor at the church, and how Jill, Ginger and Sue, treated me when they first saw me in Jill's outfit. I was just thinking also, how my teacher treated me and how most of the kids in my class treated me too. I don't know, mom, I feel just happy inside."

"That's good dear. Tell you what we'll do. You make the meatloaf, and I will make the salad, and Jill can set the table. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good, mom."

Then we sat there and turned on the television, but I wasn't too interested in what was on. I kept thinking that I have been accepted as the girl I am, and no one said anything to me about it wasn't right. I felt that I was on cloud something or other, because I had a loving and accepting family, friends at school, I have been accepted at church, and I have been accepted by Dr. St. Clair. What more could a girl my age ask for? I mean not to mention Tommy too. He has been very nice to me, and mom has been making sure I understood what is acceptable for a girl not to do, or allow a boy to do, when they are together. I finally found out where I fit in.

Before I knew it, it was time to get dinner started, and we all went into the kitchen, and I got out the ground beef, the green peppers, the onions, a secret seasoning, a few other ingredients we use in our meatloaf. I got out the eggs, and the bread crumbs, and began mixing everything together. I formed it into a loaf, and put in a one pound bread pan. I set the oven for three hundred and seventy five degrees, and let it pre-heat. When it was hot enough, by the temperature light, I put the meatloaf in, and waited thirty five minutes, for it too cook. After the timer went off, I looked at the meat thermometer, and it said one hundred and eighty degrees. Just the right temperature. I took an oven mitt, and took the pan out of the oven, and set it on top of the stove. I then took a cutting board from the cupboard, and set it on the table. I then put the pan with the meatloaf on the cutting board. I sliced the meatloaf into six pieces, because daddy liked to have three pieces by himself, and that left one a piece for mom, Jill and I. I had a small salad, and a glass of milk. Jill had the same, while mom had coffee with hers. We always talked at dinner, but tonight, I was so far away in my mind.

When dinner was over, we cleaned up the kitchen and the dining room, but I was just kinda doing it automatically, because I was still thinking. I couldn't get everything out of my mind. Things were happening so fast, but I didn't care. I was accepted as a girl, and that was the most important thing to me. After we had finished cleaning, I told mom and Jill I was tired, and was going to bed. I gave mom and Jill and hug and a kiss, and I went to give daddy and hug and kiss too, then I went to bed. I was really tired. I was too tired to take a bath, so I just took a quick shower. Then I got into my night gown, and crawled into bed.

When my alarm went off the next morning, I felt that I had been sleeping for a long time, and I was well rested. I got up, and ran my bath, I put in some nice Lavender crystals, again, and just soaked in the fragrant water. I then washed down, and rinsed off with the shower head. I went into my room, and got dressed. I figured today would be a casual day, so I got out my blue skirt, with my white, button down top, my white bra and panty set, and my black pumps with the two inch heels. I put on my nylon stockings, and all the rest of the clothes, except the skirt and top, until I had put my makeup on. Then I put the skirt on, and then the top, which was made to wear outside of the skirt, by covering the waistband.

After I made sure everything was straight, I went downstairs to breakfast.

"Good morning mom. Good morning Jill. Mom, I'm just going to make a jelly toast, and a glass of milk."

"All right, sweetheart. My goodness tho, you seem very cheery this morning. Did you rest well?"

"Yes mother I did. I slept very well, thank you."

"That's good, dear."

"Jill, we'd better be going, Ginger and Sue will be here at any time." That's when the door bell rang. I went to answer it, thinking it was the girls, but when I opened the door, it was Tommy.

"Good morning Natalie. Are you ready to go to school?"

"Why yes, I am, Tommy. Are you going to walk with me?"

"Yes, I am, Natalie." I went and got my coat and my books, and Tommy took my books, and put them under his arm. "This is my job, Natalie, they look awfully heavy for you to carry." I smiled that girlish coy smile, and just let him carry my books. Just as we were leaving, and Jill was coming out of the house, the girls were coming to the door. They said hi to Tommy and me, and we continued walking.

When we got to school, no one said a word to me, not even the teachers, and for all of the rest of the week, I had a wonderful time at school. All the girls just loved my earrings, my pendant, and my clothes, as well as my attitude. That Friday, when we were at dinner, we talked about the week at school.

"Natalie," Daddy was saying. "How was your week at school?"

"It was great daddy. All the girls were really nice. They all wanted to know where I got this outfit and that outfit from. The blue crystal tear drop earrings I have, they joked that they were jealous of" (I giggled). "But, even though I heard everything my teachers said, I was sort of in dreamland too. I just could not believe that my life has taken a turn for the best. I mean, I finally found friends, and a place to fit in. The boys don't call me names anymore, but they whistle a lot" (I giggled again). "Daddy, mom, Jill, thanks for everything. I'm loving being a girl."

Mom and Jill came over and gave me a big hug, and then mom looked at me with that mommy smile of hers.

"Honey, I am so glad that I have two daughters. And even tho Jill is two and a half years older than you, you both seem to get along fine. I know your father is proud of you two also. Now how about you two help me clean away the dishes and clean this place up a little?" We both said okay mom, and we did our usual clean up, then I went up to bed, and did my usual. I climbed into bed. This last week had been so tiring for me, even tho I had a great time. Tomorrow I see Dr. St. Clair.

I got up around nine o'clock, because I was anxious to get my bath in. I ran the bath with a rose scented bubble bath foam, and I watched as the suds just filled up the tub. While the tub was filling, I went into my bedroom, and got out the clothes I was going to wear that day. I wanted to smell and look nice for Dr. St. Clair. I took out my lilac dress, and my lilac bra and panty set, I got my nylons out, and my lilac pumps with the one inch wedge heels. I went back into the bathroom and turned off the water, and got into the tub. I just sat there and soaked the fragrance into my body. When I was in there for about five minutes, Jill knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey! Did you drown in there or something?"

"No Jill, the door's open tho."

Jill came in and pulled her panties down, and sat on the toilet, and I wasn't looking at her, because I was in seventh heaven sitting in my bath. "it smells really nice in here. I like that rose bubble bath."

"Thanks sis. I want to make sure my hair is washed too."

"Oh! That reminds me, I have a shampoo that I got from the beauty shop. It is called Rose Petal Soft. That'll go good with the bubble bath scent." She said she'd be right back, and disappeared. She came back with the shampoo, and told me to use that. Then I'd smell like roses all day long. I thanked her, and she left. I washed up, and rinsed off with the shower head, then I washed my hair. I rinsed off what suds still remained around my feet and ankles, and in my hair. I always condition my hair twice, to make it very silky. I got out of the tub and patted down with a soft terry towel, and then wrapped the towel around me like a girl would. I went to get dressed.

"Sis," Jill said as I got into my bedroom. "May I come along with you and Dr. St. Clair today?"

"If she lets you, sis. I would love to have you with me."

"Great, I'll tell mom then, she's down in the kitchen already."

"Okay."

I got dressed in my clothes, and made sure everything was straight, then went down for breakfast. "Good morning mom," I said giving her a hug. Good morning daddy," I said as I gave him a hug. I also gave Jill a hug, and she looked at me with surprise. "What's that for sis?"

"Oh, I don't know, just because."

"Just because what, dear sister?"

"Just because you're my sister," I said with a genuine smile. I got another big hug from Jill for that compliment. Just as my toast popped up, and my milk was poured, the doorbell rang. I went to answer it.

"Hello Dr. St. Clair, please come in. We're in the kitchen. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Why thank you Natalie, but no, I already had breakfast, dear. But thanks for the generous offer."

We walked into the kitchen, and of course daddy had to be the gracious host, as he stood up and greeted Dr. St. Clair. Mom and Jill greeted her too, and she sat down.

"Dr. St. Clair, would you like a cup of coffee or maybe a cup of tea?"

"Why Natalie, you are the gracious hostess today. All right, since you insist I have something, I'll have a cup of tea, no cream, and one half of a teaspoon of sugar."

"Yes, ma'am, coming right up."

Dr. St. Clair watched my every move. She watched as I poured the tea and added the sugar, and then I placed her cup of tea on a saucer, with the spoon I added the sugar with, and served it to her, bending my knees, as I set the tea in front of her. "Here is your tea, ma'am, please leave the tip under the saucer when you are finished. Thank you for dining at Natalie's cafe." We all laughed a little at my joke.

"Natalie, from what I have just seen, you are going to make a fine girl, and a wonderful hostess."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair, I'm sure." Everyone laughed a little at that, even daddy.

"Dr. St. Clair, are you always this early on a Saturday, when you take a client out on your 'fishing' trip?" Mom asked inquiringly.

"Yes, I try to get an early start and finish with a lunch, and then bring the client back home by at the most, one o'clock."

"Dr. St. Clair, may Jill go with us?"

"Yes dear, Jill may go with you, if that will make you feel more comfortable."

Jill excused herself, and went to get her coat, and her purse. She came back in no time at all, and Dr. St. Clair said we had to get going, because the first stop was the office supply store. "You know years ago, I would have taken you to Woolworth's, but you don't see them any more. But I must say tho, Natalie, you do remind me so much of Allison. She was a young client of mine too, many years ago. We still see each other, but not as doctor/client tho."

We sat there and talked some more, then Dr. St. Clair said we had to get going. Jill put her coat on and grabbed her purse, and I took my coat out of the front hall closet, and picked up my purse, and then I opened the door, and allowed Dr. St. Clair to go first, then I went out followed by Jill.

When we got into the car, Dr. St. Clair said she was going to stop at Office Max to get me something every girl should have. It took us only ten minutes to get there. When we had parked and got into the store, we went right to the where the notebooks and binders were. She started rummaging through the diaries there, and picked one that had a girl on the cover, lying on her tummy, writing.

"How is this one, Natalie?"

"That is so beautiful, Dr. St. Clair."

"I'm glad you like it, because it's yours. Write whatever in it. What happened that day at school, or with your friends, or with a boy, or something you did by yourself that was memorable, and you want a reminder of it."

"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair."

"You're welcome, dear."

But we didn't leave right away. We went to another part of the store, where there were calculators, and palm tops. She picked out a calculator for me, but didn't let me see it, until she had tried it first.

"Natalie, with today's school work, this will help get through it a little quicker. What do you think, would you like to have this?"

"Yes ma'am, but I usually do all of my math in my head, and I do it quickly too. Some of the boys in my class tho, seem to have a problem, adding one and one."

She giggled a little, and then said, "Natalie, this is yours then. And yes, some boys have a real problem when it comes to doing simple mathematics."

We went to the cashier and paid for the purchases, and then we left the store. We headed out of the parking lot, toward the mall. After parking and getting into the mall, Dr. St. Clair took us to a shop that sold only young and teenage girls clothing.

"Natalie, you may pick out anything in the store, and I will give it to you as a present."

I couldn't believe what I just heard. I looked Jill, and she at me, and we decided okay, let's find something nice. So we looked around the store, and I saw and really nice teal dress. It had lace around the arms and the hem. It had a scoop neckline, and came to my knees exactly. It was like it was made for me. Jill came with me to the dressing room, and I tried on the dress. I stepped out for Dr. St. Clair's approval.

"Why Natalie, you look very pretty in that dress. Would you like to have that?"

"Yes ma'am, I really would."

"Then, it's yours."

"Thank you so much Dr. St. Clair." I gave her a hug, and started to cry.

"Natalie, is there something wrong, dear?"

"N-n-no Dr. St. Clair. I'm just happy is all. You are being so kind to me, that I can't help crying."

"Honey, girls cry when we're happy, when we're sad, or just for nothing sometimes. It's all right tho, because I do this with all of my transgendered clients. And you young lady, are going to make a very fine girl."

We paid for the dress, and the next stop was IHOP. I love going to IHOP, because they have these salads, that mom, Jill and I can eat together, and all you have to do is order one, and then there is always some left over. Of course, daddy takes care of that part (giggles a little). While we sat there, we talked some more. I never get tired of hearing how I am supposed to act. My sitting and my posture do not need any improving, but my voice needs to come up a little, because it is starting to get into the low range.

"Natalie, I know a speech therapist that can help you with your voice. She can make you talk like a girl, without having to have what is called a tracheal shave."

"What is a tracheal shave, Dr. St. Clair?"

"A tracheal shave is where they actually operate on your vocal chords to make them more feminine. They reduce the size of the adams apple, which is your voice box. Then they will have you see a speech therapist anyway, so that when you can speak, your voice can be trained to talk like any other girl."

"All right Doctor, we will talk to mom about it when we get home."

"All right, Natalie, that is fine, dear. You know tho, when your mother called me, I suspected that I was going to meet a very pretty young lady, with manners, and you have not disappointed me. When I get you home, I will talk to your mother. Then I have to go to the office and write a report for your file, about what we did, and why. Because the money I am using, is actually company money for the benefit of our clients. So it has to be accounted for. But Natalie, I have seen no masculinity in you at all. Everything you did today, and in my office, and at home, showed me what a wonderful girl you really are. You will be glad to know, that I can recommend to the children's court, that your name and gender be changed, officially, so that you can be the girl you are, forever."

I gave her a hug, because that is what I wanted to hear from her. "Thank you so much, Dr. St. Clair. I really do appreciate everything you are doing for me."

"But Natalie, dear, I haven't really done anything, except listen and make a few notes. You did everything yourself, and of that young lady, I am very proud of you."

Jill gave me a big hug, and kissed on me on my cheek. "Sis, like I told you before, I'm going to love having you for a sister, because you are so kind to everyone, and you are so concerned about not hurting anyone's feelings, you bring home every stray you find. You're so concerned about whether or not that baby bird that fell out of the nest has a mother. Sis, I am very proud of you." She gave me another hug, and smiled that contagious family smile.

"Natalie, is what you're sister said, true ?"

"Yes Dr. St. Clair. I feel for any one or any animal that is lost, or looks like it doesn't have a mother. Everyone should have a mother."

"Yes, Natalie, I agree with you. You have just shown me another side of you that I didn't know about. Thank you Jill, for bringing that up. That is going to be very important in my decision. All right ladies, are we ready to go?"

"Yes doctor," Jill and I said in unison.

We left the IHOP restaurant, and headed for home. I had a great time, and while we were in the car, we talked about nothing, just girl talk. Dr. St. Clair was a very nice lady. It is nice to know that she understands that I don't want to be a girl, I am a girl, and I am going to be one now, forever.

 


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Reviewed by m j hollingshead 7/4/2010
well done
Reviewed by 000 000 5/25/2009
I love the details of your story.
If all persons of difference were accepted and given love, wouldn't the world be wonderful? I believe fear of the differences are what causes the negative reactions. Fantastic writing allowing an inside look at one families loving acceptance of their child.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/24/2009
Moving write...if only all could run so smoothly for transgender out there...this world would be a great place!!

Natalie is one of the lucky ones out there, who has a family that supports her!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace 5/23/2009
Wowwwwww...this is great writing sweet lady..well done indeed...Hugsss
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 5/22/2009
Great Story Barb, glad you are back, you've been missed
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 5/22/2009
Very moving and informative as well; thank you, Barbie. Love and best wishes,

Regis


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