a continued search for the Three Eds...
Little Jimmy couldn’t take it any longer . . .
Out of her corner she came, threw down that age ole’ cheese and decided to get in on the tracking down of those Three Ed’s too . . .
Through a grapevine she found out they had kicked their caveman antics and headed back to their mommy’s, it’s no wonder, they had run out of all their spending money on those expensive wines, cheeses and razors!
So, off she went . . . Little Jimmy decided to make the long trek over to the three Ed’s’ mommy’s house to see if she could reak some havoc on them...
When she arrived, she and the three Ed’s’ mommy got into some interesting conversation . . .
First off, their mommy tells Jimmy she kicked her Three Ed’s out a few weeks back...
She needed her solitude, she said defensively, and they were drinking up all her Coors!
Little Jimmy had no choice but to start right in, playing her congas . . .
You go a mama. You go!
Men are dum dums . . . Men are dum dums . . .
As Jimmy was playing, the three Ed’s mommy started tapping her boots and drinking Coor after Coor . . . she was really loosening up quick!
But, then she started leaking from all ends! . . . ...crying big tears and spilling milk through her pretty blouse all at the same time!
“I can’t!” she bawled . . . ”You can’t what, Ma?”, Jimmy asked . . .
“I can’t go on any much longer without my Ed’s! ...Waaaaaaawawaaaaaaa!
My little Jersey Devils' warm lips could relieve this engorgement! Oh! ...and how I miss his smelly smell!"
She started crying some more, while trying to hide the two darkened spots over her chest...
”I can’t!”, She cried out again . . . "Waaaaaaawawaaaaaaa!"
“You can’t what, Ma?”
“I can’t get these whispers out of my head!”, she said . . . “Just knowing there is some whacked out do do bird, somewhere out there, trying to influence my boys . . . Do you know what, Jimmy? ....that “thing” invited my sweet Ed’s to pick his nose!
Birds’ don’t have noses, Jimmy, and I think this “Bird Whisperer” is really my ole’ rival, “Shoot-too-Soon”, dressed in drag . . . I could be wrong?”
I’m thinking...", she continued . . . "He wants them up close and personal, see . . . and then he’s gonna get his revenge!"
“Revenge?”
Ma wouldn’t elaborate, She just kept a-cryin’ . . .
“I can’t!” she cried. "Waaaaaaawawaaaaaaa"
.”You can’t what, Ma?”
“I can’t speak Mexican, Jimmy! ... and my sweet boys are down there bathing in the Rio Grande, naked, no less . . . shooting random ex-cops in the derriere. I know I’m going to have to go down there, at some point, and talk their way out of being jailed, or something heading in that direction!"
"Oh, my Edvard!", she continued crying . . . "I hope they have steer in Mexico! If not, he'll end up chasing the bulls instead of it chasing him!
I worry so, Jimmy!
Look at me! ...I’m leaking all over the place! "
Jimmy told her it was the beer triggering her “let down reflex” but she paid no mind!
"I miss my three Ed’s!" She went on . . . "I do need my solitude, but, a mother’s love goes way beyond their safety, no matter how old they get, or how smelly or stupid!"
So, she wanted them back? , Jimmy asked the three Ed's mommy... . . .
“Hell No! , She said!
“Could ya just send um’ out a drum roll for me, Jimmy . . . telling them I love um and all, but, that I’m being paid $2.00 a day, in Canadian, if can ya believe that . . . to keep them away
. . . can’t say, Who, she claimed?
But, you let my boys know, Jimmy, I’m sending it all to them via a Lil Rattle snake, who’s passing it onto, to a Flying Fox, who in turn will hand it over to a Scotsman named Lounsbury, who knows this dog, Rufuz, who’s camping in some wagon train, which actually makes him feels like a bad ass Wolf, ya sees . . .
Ma, at this point was Coored out, saying something about Mexican breast pumps being cheaper in Mexico...and three Ed's being better than none...
So, Jimmy just left her in the fading beat of her drum and continued down toward South of the Border...
"Looks like mamas’ funds could be already on their way!", she said... "I must intervene!"
Hey Boys, your mama needs a squeeze!
Love and Peace~
Jimmy
Copyright 2009
a/k/a/Kimmy Van Kooten
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