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E T Waldron

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A Sexy Spinster and the Bishop
By E T Waldron
Saturday, August 19, 2006

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a spinster full of surprises

Adelaide was considered a quiet, almost spinster type woman.  she was plain but nice looking . Yet when she put her other self on she was a sassy sexy love machine.

She speaks in a  quiet voice almost a whisper, as if afraid to offend. Her  meek personality goes well with her job as secretary to a Bishop Heinrich Halbers of the Lutheran church. That is what the public perceives at any rate.

However, the truth is both Bishop and spinster become like a pair of wild lions when they have their twice weekly sexual encounters. It has been their ritual for over the past  year, and  going stronger than ever.

Until the Bishop gave Adelaide  instructions to type the latest documents being sent to the churches in the district.  The ELCA  (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America)  findings on their search for a “politically acceptable” way in which the denomination could ordain homosexuals without alienating a sizable portion of its membership. 

This was the start of a very enlightening sequence of events, concerning Adelaide, of which the Bishop
was about to discover.

In the process of  correcting and typing the document Adelaide had a visit from one of the young woman pastor's.  Nancy  Heidleberg, who was soon to become a Bishop herself.

"Hello Adelaide, I knew you'd be working on "The" document, She said with a smile,what do you think of it?"

Adelaide stopped typing speaking in her lowest tones replied"I'm so excited about it, Nan, I knew you would be too.""Yes, I'm excited, and wondered if the Bishop has said anything to you about it."

"No he hasn't Nan, but he said we'd discuss it later after I'd finished getting it prepared for copying to send out to all the parishes."

"I'm eager to see the results, will I see you tonight"

"I can't say for sure Nan, I have to see how long the Bishop keeps me working on this."

Adelaide smiled and resumed her typing, as Nan patted her shoulder and said with a wink and a grin, "See you later!"as she left the room.

Several hours later Adelaide, having finished her work was having a coffee break with the Bishop in his office.
"Adelaide as always your work is flawless and you deserve the rest of today off. It's just past 2:00 oclock,
why not go catch up on some shopping and rest then I'll stop by your place about 7:00 and bring your
favorite Chinese food for dinner."

"Henry that sounds wonderful. I really could use the time well, to get some things done, that I have put off.Thanks for being so thoughtful, I'll leave now."

As soon as she left the building she placed a quick call to Nan, on her cell phone. When Nan answered,

Adelaide said,"Hi Nan, it's me can you get away, meet me at my apartment, now? The Bishop let me leave early since I finished the document."

"That's great Nan answered,It will be about half an hour before I can leave, but then I'll come staight away to your place. Can't wait."

"See you then"  Adelaide replied with a soft giggle.

When the doorbell rang Adelaide had already gotten into a mini lounging toga, and had mixed some Bloody Mary's. As soon as Nan was in the apartment and the door closed they were in each others arms, hungrily kissing each other. They decided they couldn't wait
and went right into the bedroom

Afterwards while relaxing in the livng room with their drinks, Nan said."time is always such an issue, but I can stay until at least eight tonight. I can't wait to know if the ELCA will  allow homosexual /Lesbian clergy. Then we can come out of the closet It's only five thirty, lets relax and order some dinner from Charlie's."

Adelaide thought, uh oh, how can I get out of this? then replied," Nan,the Bishop may stop by with some early results and a paper he wants me to finish for tomorrow. I said I'd do it on the computer tonight."

"So, I'll hide in the bedroom, and he won't know I'm here. Surely he'll just drop them off ,and you can ease him out quickly?"

"Nan, you know we can't take chances. We decided when we became involved to be extra careful because of the positions we hold. I don't want to lose the trust of the Bishop, that would be foolish." Adelaide thought, if you only knew our arrangement you'd be angry enough to kill.

Nan got up and went over to where Adelaide was lying back in her recliner. She got on her knees and put her

head in Adelaides lap. She said"We never have enough time together, I hope we can get to take that vacation we are planning for, in 3 months."

Adelaide stroked her hair and said,"We will, I'll make sure of it. But you have to leave now my dear  so we don't get compromised and lose our positions."Nan murmmured okay, but pushed Adelaides Toga aside and just as she put her head between Adelaides legs the door opened and in came the Bishop.He had gotten finished with his work and arrived earlier than expected. He had his own key.

He took a few strides in from the foyer, and dropped the chinese food he was carrying onto the floor. He said aghast at the scene he confronted, "Oh god let my eyes be deceiving me."

Shocked into action Adelaide moved forward  so quickly,  the force of the recliner, propelled her to knock Nan on her back, and if it hadn't been so serious it would have been hilarious. Except that Nan's legs were kind of bent out of position and would be hurting for awhile, but she managed to get up, and being in the nude,so totally embarrased, she fled into the bedroom.

In the meantime the Bishop had gone over to where Adelaide kept the liquor and poured himself a brandy. He drank it quickly , then poured another.

Adelaide was sitting upright stiff as a statue, eyes staring straight ahead as if she had frozen into that position. Nan had gotten dressed, but was sitting on the bed afraid to come out of the bedroom.

The Bishop said " I feel like I'm having a heart attack.I can't believe this is happening", his voice rose, higher "You told me you were a virgin that I was the first man to have intercourse with you, why did you lie to me? Tell me why?"

Adelaide shook herself, and to his surprise almost shouted, "I didn't lie I was a virgin, and you were the first." she sobbed!

"So then you are just a lesbian is that it? Just a little fact you didn't consider worth mentioning."

Adelaide didn't answer, but the door to the bedroomswung open and Nan came surging out saying,"I can't be quiet any longer, just tell him the truth Adelaide, now that he knows.

 You see Bishop, you are a big surprise to me too, so  I know how you must be feeling. Adelaide why lie you may not have had intercourse with men but what about when we get together with our gay pals Jim and Marty for an evening out and finish if off of with a night of oral sex, just for a change of pace."

Adelaide jumped out of the recliner, and shouted, "That's enough get out of here, both of you ,this is my apartment and I want you both out now! " her voice screeched like a banshee and her mood a crazed one they never saw before. It frightened them both.

But the Bishop said, "I won't leave until we get some things settled Adelaide. I admit this is a shock for us all, but it seems me and Nancy here are the two that have been hurt the most . After all you knew what you were doing, we didn't."

Nan stood quietly by while Adelaide said in a loud voice they weren't used to with her "What have either one of you got to complain about, didn't I give you pleasure. I 'm not married to either of you, I work and support myself, what harm did I do to you Bishop or to you Nancy ? Ask yourselves that question.?

Now I would appreciate it if you left because I have a very bad headache and cannot take any more of this right now."

The Bishop said, "Okay, we won't resolve this while you feel like that, I'll leave, if Nancy does,I'm weary too and don't need this stress right now."

Nan said"I'll leave too, but there's no need to worry about how I 'm taking it, because, you are no longer someone I want to be involved with."  She turned and left.

The Bishop left right behind her, but  at the door turned to say," It's probably best if you take tomorrow off, until we can do some pondering of this matter."

When they were gone, Adelaide went and poured herself a double brandy and took a hefty drink.She sat down to contemplate just how she felt. Being
a realist, she decided it would never be the same working with the Bishop let alone Nan. She made a choice right then to make a phone call to an old lover.A man whom she had been intimate with for years while he was married. She had lied to the Bishop and to Nancy.

Yet she felt no guilt. After all she did nothing wrong to any of them, but to share her pleasures. Just because her morals were different from theirs, was no reason to judge her. Aren't godly people supposed to let god be the judge?

Ken picked up the phone said, "Hi Addy, it's been a long time, hope nothing's wrong.""Hello Ken, no nothing wrong, just wondering if you know of someone who needs a good secretary, and pays well." She finished with a laugh.

"Well let me scout around  and get back to youtomorrow. I'm sure we can find you something. In the meantme do you need any money or anything? "

"I'll be needing new digs and a way to get out of here without anyone knowing where I 'm going. Can you send someone over to help me pack up a van. I'm going to move out tonight and get on the road, I'll be in your neck of the woods day after tomorrow. In the meantime you can reach me by cell phone or computer." Adelaide spoke nonchlantly but was holding her breath hoping he could help quickly.

Ken said, "Same old Addy, always wants it done yesterday. Let's see, Tony is in your area, let me give him a call and I'll get right back to you."

Adelaide breathed a sigh of relief. She had already started  to type a list of things to do, and was preparing a fax to send the Bishop with all he needed to know. She would give him a post office box number to send any info and back pay she had coming, once she had gotten to the town she was moving to.

When Ken called back he told her Tony had reached two guys Bob and Stan to help her pack and move. She was elated and thanked Ken, telling him she'd see him once she got to town.

While she was packing she thought of how Ken who was the main mafia man in his territory,had been so good to her when she was his girl. She always knew one day that connection would pay off. Adelaide always thought ahead when she had a relationship and made sure it would be useful to her.

When Bob and Stan came they worked for several hours to get it all packed and put in the van. she didn't have that much, but enough fto fill  a small uhaul truck.  The guys would take the truck and she would follow with her van. Which was filled with her clothes, and personal items. They took off at 3;45 a.m. for the trip that woulld take about 27 hours stopping only for gas, eats and restrooms. First  Bob had to take the car back to where they had come from, which wasn't far, and they followed ,then they'd be on their way.

Her rent was good for another 10 days so she didn't need to worry. She put an explanation in the mail to her landlord and hoped he'd send her deposit to her when she had a P O box,  but if he didn't it was worth getting away hassle free from the Bishop.

And so another chapter was ending and beginning in the life of the quiet spinster named Adelaide.






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Reviewed by Richard Orey 7/27/2008
After reading "A Sexy Spinster and the Bishop," I feel quite well qualified for full-time employment in a pretzel factory, either that or perhaps I could take a job as a life guard, since I'm now an expert on the social philosophy of "Still water runs the deepest."

However, my speculation now turns to E. T. Waldron, my nonsmoking dear lady who lost her loving poodle. Evidently, she's turned her passions to religious literature and seems bent on a career extolling hellfire and damnation.

I can't say I'll pray for you, Eileen, because most likely I'll be calling on you for technical advice in the novel I'm working on now, "Beyond Innocence" and how I might best keep my heroine, a bodacious young Mexican nun, out of bed with her many lecherous admirers until the book's spellbinding climax. "Climax," you say? Oh, I've got your attention, have I?

You naughty girl, you!
(Not that I'm interested, you know, but have you got any more stories like this lurking about?)

Reviewed by Mary Grace Patterson 6/18/2007
An engrossing story. IT really held my interest! Whats next????? m
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 4/6/2007
Wow! Some write, ET! Really enjoyed it! It's the quiet ones that have to be watched sometimes. (:D

Peace. Joyce
Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot 3/8/2007
It's always the quiet one's, the dark horses of society :)
I can just see the look on the bishops about twisted sista LOL

Blessings to you
Reviewed by Michelle Mills 2/14/2007
This is QUITE a story Eileen! WOW! More twists and turns than a mountain road. Great plot, and very well written! Blessings, Michelle
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 1/14/2007
enjoyed the read
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/7/2007
Great story, Eileen. I truly enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing it. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks 10/7/2006
Enticing in many ways, she is...both in prose and in poe...well, darn, someone's said that before...but it's factual, and needs to be repeated!! :o)

Reviewed by Nordette Adams 9/9/2006
I was about to say "Eileen, you are as talented in writing fiction as you are at writing poetry," but look, that man below me beat me to it. LOL. Bless you. ~~Nordette
Reviewed by Aberjhani 9/8/2006
My my my, a pen that scribbles brilliantly on both sides of the fence: whether caressing poetry or seducing prose:-) A great write and a great read.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 8/21/2006

Fantastic story you have penned; very well done! BRAVA!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 8/20/2006
I am honored to read this, Eileen. It has such merit for deep religious roots to survive. Today's religion has to break loose from the hypnotizing strict, stereotyping forces if it's ever to survive. The Church has got to loosen in so that its parishoners do not have to lie and cover up things in the cloak closet other than the Bibles and hymnal book rack. I often wonder if it wasn't for the tithe checks and the collection plates passed at the end of the service and the congregation reached for their wallets, might they reach for a slip of paper and write their confessions on it in submission of Truth and honesty, if perhaps we would have a fess-up what's your secret, such as this power-packed sentence, "I am a lesbian, I can do all the things through Christ who strengthens me." A Sexy Spinster and the Bishop is a story that needed told and you put it to us the way it happens...and it does happen...and at the risk of offending those tied to an organized religion, many of my recent postings have been also about the Truth...I admire you, Eileen. Blessed Be...

Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 8/20/2006
oh, my! you had a few surprises in here, didn't you?! (: Loved it!

Reviewed by Peter Paton 8/20/2006

Adelaide likes her cake and eat it too..
Thrilling write..

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 8/20/2006
Wow! Elaine this is one interesting write! Adelaide was qiute a character alright!

God bless,

Reviewed by RM Green 8/19/2006
Adelaide was QUITE a piece of work! It has always been said you better watch out for the QUIET ones!

Great and intriguing read!

RM Green
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 8/19/2006
A captivating write! Kept me interested from beginning to end.

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)

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