Do you ever feel sorry for yourself and then you see someone who is much worse off than you? It is an eye-opening experience and kind of embarrassing that you ever thought "poor me!"
Life is Good
Last night my electric went off. It was 11:30 p.m. and as I lay snuggled under my many blankets and watched T.V., everything suddenly went dark. My husband and I stumbled through the house in the darkness to find a flashlight and to check the neighbors’ lights to make sure it was not just our house, a breaker or something. We called the power company to report the “devastating” circumstances and then we went back to sleep to wait it out. It was off a total of three and a half hours and by the time it came back on, I said I was “freezing” and was so happy because surely we wouldn’t have been able to stand much more.
Then today, I read a story about an elderly lady who had no shoes or warm clothing in the middle of winter. She had no money to buy anything and she ached from arthritis and age and could barely get around. I felt so ashamed.
Who am I to complain? I have a wonderful home, though sometimes dirty and messy. I have plenty to eat, although I look through cabinets and I actually say, “there is nothing to eat in here!” I have family and friends and a wonderful husband. I have a great job and get paid way too much for what I do, and yet I have complaints about that as well. My children are healthy and happy and on their ways to having families of their own. I have a nice car to drive and clothes to wear, and yet sometimes they are not enough. I burst into tears this evening because we ‘have no money’, and I actually said “we have no money and it’s Christmas!” What on earth do I have to complain about?
Besides the illnesses I have, life has always been pretty easy for me. I have never been destitute, even though I have gone through some early lean times and later lost my home to bankruptcy when my business venture failed. But I always bounce back. Like a cat dropped off a roof, I spring back into action and shake it off.
I am lucky. I am blessed. I am so fortunate for all that I have and I don’t even appreciate it. My heart aches for people out there who are in need. I try to help when I can, but do I do it for them or for my own gratification? I don’t know anymore.
My resolution, beginning now and going forward is to count my blessings and to share what I can with others who are not as fortunate as I am. What a shame it would be to go through this world being selfish and having pity for my needs when there are so many people who need so much more than I.
I am thankful for my mother, who at almost 86 years of age still has all her faculties. She is able to care for herself and she still drives, walks, cleans house and cooks dinners for her family. She is my friend and I call her every day on my way home from work. She is the one person who has always loved me unconditionally, no matter what. In her eyes, I am perfect just the way I am and she would never forsake me under any circumstances.
I am thankful for my wonderful daughters, whom at times I forget how wonderful they really are. But I realize now that they are good, thoughtful and kind hearted people. And they are successful in their relationships, which is a good start at their ages of 28 and 24.
I am thankful for my home and all the worldly things I have. I have a home that only some can dream about. Though it is old and not perfect, it provides me shelter from the cold and heat, it gives me a place to come to when I am tired and stressed. It is a calming place for me and I would rather be here than any other place on earth.
I am thankful for all my furry children. They all bring me so much happiness and I love them each equally, but differently, just as you do your human offspring. When I lose one that I love, it grieves me a great deal, but I would not give up that time that I had with them for anything in the world. Some people say “I would never go through that again” and I only think “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world”. As the Garth Brooks song says… ‘I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance”.
I am thankful for my friends. I have a select few that I call true friends, and that is by choice. These are the ones that have been true blue to me for many years and I appreciate the times we spend together, even though they are few and far between.
I am thankful for my job. Though it brings me stress and I tend to complain about it sometimes, I am truly thankful that I am employed by such a wonderful company. A company that takes care of its employees and treats them with respect; that pays well if you meet the goals that are set for you, that offers wonderful insurance & benefits, which are vital to me with the illnesses that I have.
I am thankful for good neighbors. The kind of neighbors who look out for your property when you are away. And let you know if anything unusual occurs. The kind of neighbors who you don’t talk to every day but if you need them, they come over. The kind of neighbors who come to gatherings you have in your yard and they know few people there, but they come because you invited them.
I appreciate my family and extended family. I get along with all my siblings and that is a wonderful thing, to not have bickering amongst your brothers and sisters! I also love my husband’s family as if they were blood relation. They are all wonderful people and have taken me in as if I was born into their clan.
I am thankful for my church, my pastors and the congregation. They too, treat me as if I have been a part of their family for decades. They are my second family and almost anyone in my congregation would do anything to help me if I asked.
And last, but not least…I am so thankful for the wonderful man I am married to. Regretfully, I know about failure in a marriage after losing the battle of one that lasted 18 years. I was hesitant to think that true love and respect existed; now I know. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on him that I wanted him in my life forever. I had an instant feeling of “there he is” as if I had been searching for this man all my life and I knew instantly that this was THE ONE I had searched for, if not consciously, then subconsciously. I am so happy that he finally saw things my way! He is my best friend, my greatest support whenever things are bad, my confidante, my lover. He is my personal comedian, my helpmate, my life partner. He is my other half and life would be unbearable without him in it. I thank God each day that He led me to this angel on earth and I feel like the luckiest woman alive to have someone I actually like, as well as love, to be my partner until I die.
So here is where I begin my new life. I will have struggles to stay positive and be ever thankful. But I will try.
Life is good.