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Steve Patterson

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By Steve Patterson
Sunday, June 19, 2005

Rated "G" by the Author.

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i be a commando
just go
where i'me told ta' go

"don't bath"
"don't shave"

"don't smoke"
"don't drink"
"don't think"

i was goin' ta' Iraque
had ta' watch my back
sneakin' in
tryin' ta' begin
an operation

i crawled
i hauled
just a few feet
then i heard him
a dog
saw him lookin' at me...

"hey you!!!"
the dog said
thought i was dead.

"you talkin' ta' me dog?"

"who the hell
would i be talkin' to you
but you?"


"what do you think your doin'
comin' in here?"

"just lookin' for a motel"

"oh well"

"i could smell
the cigarettes
the rum too
& i think that's pussy
on you"

i said

"on me. oh well"

the dog say
"heavens just a bite away"

i say 'oh hell"

he said
"not so quick dick"

i said" that's my brother"
dog say " the same mother"

i said "ok"
"how far am i into Iraque"

dog said "a foot or two"

laid down my carton of menthols
and a bottle of rum
said " sorry, can't give back my cum"

and i backed away
just goin' my way
across the border line
figgered i was fine

went about 6 feet
turned ta' dog and said
i'm outta there

then i heard him
at my feet
a big old shepard said
"not yet"

i said
"where am i?"
big dog say " Iran"

"i ran as fast as i can
i missed the bus
what's the fuss?"

big old dog said
"ain't been laid
in a week or two...
you got cigaretts
maybe some booze?"

said "sorry...
left 'em in Iraque"

"shit those dogs
git all the bones
here i be in Iran
all alone
you stumble in
full a' sin...
and i get nuthin'"

so me and that Iranian dog
sat down
he said" you smell like pussy"
i said "wanna' drink?
how about a smoke?"

"you smell like pussy!"

thought i'd go back to Irauqe

turned my back
and ran
out of Iran

that other old dog
and a friend or two
were sittin' around
said"figgered you'd be back
want a smoke
joe brought some toke
how about a drink?"

i said nuthin"
dog say " hey Iran...
this is our man

their bite was worse than their bark

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