Weiners?

Late the other night I was looking out the window.  Lacy ice embossed one corner of the pane.  My breath froze instantly wherever it happened to be aimed, creating crystalline spikes, circles and patterns.  It’s called the dead of winter.  It’s usually also called reality.  And in Wisconsin lately, winter is definitely a reality.

That’s what seemed to so very, very strange – Weiners popped into my head. You know – “hot dogs” – those common, everyday meat tubes made from all manner of mysterious things.  (The phrase “some fillers added” always bothered me.)  I don’t know why or where the thought came from but there they were. After all the cold, snow and lack of sunshine, I thought I was experiencing an advanced and aberrant form of S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  Or perhaps, just some kind of disorder without either the benefit of “seasonal” or “affective”. 

These wieners were not the campfire variety, or even the fancy ones from off the grill on a hot summer’s evening.  These were January Weiners; the strangest of all Weiners.

Why Weiners, people may wonder?  Perhaps because they are the weirdest things to pop into anyone’s mind, especially in a Wisconsin January.  As I walked back to the usual spot in our home where I did my writing-thing, a logical progression followed.  “Weiner-Water Soup!”

This age-old question came to the forefront of my thoughts occasionally; Weiner Water Soup; most often when I am either “seasonal” or “affective” or just “disordered”.  However, this is one of the potential uses for the liquid remaining after boiling Weiners.  When all of those grand meat missiles have been bunned, the remaining liquid is usually tossed out.  It ends up down some drainpipe thereby coming to an inglorious end.

Enough!  It is time for Weiner Water Soup.  That Weiner Bouillon can be used for a variety of things: Weiner Barley Soup, Lemon-Rice Weiner Soup, Weiner Vegetable Soup, Weiner Water Chili (a little thin), Weiner Bouillabaisse, Weiner Corn Chowder and, the all time favorite, Weiner Clam Chowder.

These delicacies can lead to a myriad of other mouth-watering recipes where the stock is something you would ordinarily throw away.

Only the lack of imagination is self-limiting when you consider the gourmet treats coming from the water remaining after you use one of those “boil-in-a-pouch” servings of rice. 

In summer, we often grill bratwurst or other meat missiles treats.  A problem arises when you need to keep them warm and moist until served.  Simmer them in a concoction of beer, butter and sliced onions.  When all the meat is eaten or put in plastic containers as leftovers, the “concoction” remains.

This is a golden opportunity putting anything created by Martha Stewart to shame.  This is a bouillon stock of epic proportions.  It cries, “Fat and Cholesterol.”  Therefore, it must be unbelievably delicious.  Reheat, slice in some of the leftover meat, add corn and voila – a rare, often overlooked treat -- Bratwurst Corn Chowder.

Disclaimer: --- Good grief, don’t take any of these recipes seriously.