An unstable man fights his demons

I am a good man.
So much so, I have recently begun writing a list of my most outstanding qualities to remind me of what a good man I really am.

But, sometimes, as I satnd at the top of the cellar stairs, squinting down into the darkness, it almost whispers to me.....beckons to me. I almost give in to it's temptations.
But, being a good man, I resist.
I mean, darkness dwells within even the best of us, in the worst of us, darkness not only dwells, but reigns.

But, no matter what the temptations thrown at me, I am a good man. Yet, I do have human failings - part of the price I have paid being the death of my innocence within the carnal pleasures of flesh and blood. I tell myself, with each waking day, I dare not succumb to the vile solutions offered within the cellar below.
Last night, for instance, I couldn't sleep. I finally slipped out of bed and went downstairs for a shot of bourbon, hoping a quick alcohol fix would sedate me.

Staring at the bottle, I was very much afraid, for I knew what the reappearcne of the demon alcohol would do for my psyche.
I went to the cellar door.
Iopened it.
I stared down into the blackness below, long dead prisoners, victims of vile tortures awaited me there.
I shuddered.
Not for them, but for ME.
A GOOD man.
And, although I'll admit to occasionally providing darkness, ..evil, with a habitat in which to dwell, I have never, ever, provided it with a kingdom.
But.....the temptation is great.
Lately, I have been making a list of people I hate. I don't intend to do anything with the list, of course, it's just a silly little game.
The list, the vic...PEOPLE, on it, mean absolutely nothing.

I will lock the cellar door shut forever, and never open it again.
Because....I am a good man.

But the list.....it is just a little longer than I'd expected.