Become a Fan
Excerpt from When I'm Loving You, Chapter 1
By K. Lowery Moore
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Rated "R" by the Author.
Have you ever met someone and you instantly hit it off? Things between the two of you are going great and then here comes the drama from his or her past? Well meet Natasha Inglewood, Dianne Marshall, and Lynda Davis. Despite their personal struggles, these three best friends find the love they have always desired. However, where there is love, they discover there is potentially drama.
Excerpt from Chapter 1.
The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted my thoughts. I knew it was that damn Tyrone. I didn’t turn him away this time because I knew he was hurting over the loss of Aisha too. A lot of his hurt was due to his guilt of not being around for Aisha, which I will admit was partially my fault. I agreed to meet with him since he was in town for a business trip. About a year after Tyrone’s mother died, he managed to enroll in college at Georgia State and earned his Bachelor of Science Degree in Accounting. His mother left him a substantial amount of money he used for his college tuition. She would be so proud of him today.
“Hello Tyrone,” I said, as I opened the door avoiding eye contact.
“I don’t plan to stay long but I wanted to see you before I left town,” Tyrone uttered as he tried to hold back his tears.
“What is this about Tyrone?” Trying to sound as if I didn’t care, but I did care, I couldn’t let him know it.
Before today, the last time Tyrone and I spoke was at Aisha’s funeral. My foster mother thought it would have been cruel of me not to let him know about the accident. I couldn’t understand how he could act as if he cared when he didn’t watch her grow up. I know that’s probably not a fair thing to say since I was the one who picked up and moved to another state; keeping Aisha from him. I didn’t want him in and out of her life, like some kind of revolving door. Kids don’t understand why daddy didn’t show up and then mommy has to spend the next few hours consoling a crying child trying to explain what happened. I wasn’t having it. Call me stubborn; but Aisha was too important to me to see her hurt period!
When Aisha was about twelve years old, she started asking about her dad so I decided to let her call him. I didn’t want her hating me for keeping her from him. Tyrone sent her calling cards and they established a long distance bond. She was so happy. She would have me snapping pictures all day so she could send to him. I thought that was too cute of her to want to do that for him. She loved her daddy although he wasn’t physically there. I would have done anything to make sure my daughter was happy, even if it meant dealing with that damn Tyrone.
“I know I didn’t always do right by you or Aisha, but I hope that one day you will forgive me,” Tyrone said, handing me an envelope.
“I told you I don’t want anything from you Tyrone,” I bitterly snapped with both hands on my curvaceous hips.
“Please, for once stop being so stubborn and take it. You know there was a time when I was in love with you Tash, and never stopped caring about you although our relationship didn’t work. Take this and you will never have to deal with me again; if you don’t want to.”
A part of me wanted to cry because he was right; there was a time when we were in love. I don’t understand what happened to Tyrone back then. I accepted the envelope. He kissed me on the cheek and walked out of my life and maybe for good that time, who knows? Inside the envelope were a letter and a smaller envelope. I put the smaller envelope in the bible on my nightstand and unfolded the letter. The letter read:
I’m writing this letter in hopes to make amends for hurting you for so many years. It was never my intention for things to turn out the way that they did because you were my first love. I guess I was too young to handle the pressures of a relationship and like a coward, I ran away from my responsibilities and started running the streets. I know sorry is not enough for all the pain that I’ve caused you, but I need to say it anyway. It has taken me six months to face you after Aisha’s funeral. I still can’t believe that she is gone. I owe you so much but I know money is not enough to repay you for all that you have gone through raising her. I couldn’t handle that you didn’t need me. You were woman enough to not put up with my bullshit and to raise our child alone. For that, I deeply admire you. The day Aisha called me for the first time, I was so happy that you finally let her contact me. That filled a void in my life. Ever since you left Georgia, I put money aside each month to surprise the both of you when it was time for her to go to college. I knew she always dreamed of going to a prestigious university and I wanted to make her dream a reality. I know you would not have accepted it since you sent my checks back to me shredded. Therefore, I put the money in a money market account. Well I guess I say all of this to say, the money is now yours. It’s not much but I wanted you to know that I loved our daughter although I didn’t always do a very good job of showing it. Because of me, I know it’s been hard for you to trust men and to fall in love. But rest assure, we are not all assholes. You deserve the very best in life so let your guard down, please, for Aisha. She would often tell me that she wanted you to get married and be happy. However, she often felt like she was in the way. Love again, life is way too short not to.
This was the Tyrone I remembered and fell in love with in high school. I cried so hard, the words started to smear off the letter from my tears. I folded the letter up and placed it in the bible along with the smaller envelope. I wouldn’t find out until the next day that inside of the envelope was the information for the money market account that Tyrone opened for Aisha. The paperwork named me as the sole beneficiary. He actually loved his daughter more than I realized.
Tyrone wrote his cell phone number and the telephone number to his hotel room on the outside of the smaller envelope in case I wanted to talk. I wanted to see him one last time if he was going to walk out of my life forever. When I called, he sounded very happy to hear from me. I asked him if it was okay for me to stop by his hotel room so we could talk, there were so many things I needed to get off my chest to him. He agreed that I could come by later on
that evening and he gave me the address to the hotel and his room number.
It was a beautiful Friday night and the drive to the hotel was very soothing. I was playing the CD by Kindred. I sang along with my favorite song on the CD, “Far away from here, far away from here. I want to jump in a taxi cab, pack a bag, and getaway fast.” That was exactly how I felt; I wanted to get far away from here. After parking my car, I called Tyrone to let him know that I was downstairs in the lobby and I would be up soon. I found Tyrone’s hotel room and knocked on the door. I wasn’t prepared at all for what was about to take place. When Tyrone opened the door to his hotel room, he was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Damn, he looked good. He must have taken a shower before I arrived because he smelled fresh like Dove soap and cologne I couldn’t make out.
“What kind of cologne are you wearing?”
“It smells good on you.”
“Thank you.” Tyrone had a smirk, as if he was surprised at my compliment. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
He poured me a glass of wine and we toasted to the good ole days. We talked for what seemed like hours but only an hour actually went past. I wanted to make sure he knew there weren’t any hard feelings on my end and that I wanted to apologize for moving so far away and keeping Aisha from him. He assured me he never stopped thinking about us and asked me if I had opened the other envelope that he had given me. I told him that I would open it when I get home.
As I stood to walk towards the door, Tyrone stepped up close behind me and put his arms around my waist as if to say, “Don’t go.” What in the world, I thought, but I couldn’t move or say anything. Part of it was because of the four glasses of wine I had consumed and the other part was because I was, actually, where I wanted to be for that moment.
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