AuthorsDen.com  Join Free! | Login 

 
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Myles Saulibio, iJames Boyle, iPinckney Rivers, iTygo Lee, iB. B. Riefner, ialex canton-dutari, iKen Coleman, i
  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

David A. Schwinghammer

  + Follow Me   

· 239 titles
· 212 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Dec, 2007

   Sitemap
   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Message Board
   Read Reviews

Books
· Soldier's Gap

· Soldier's Gap


Short Stories
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9

· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine

· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight

· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight

· Bereavement Blues

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7


Articles
· Fire Lover, a True Story, book review

· Missoula, book review

· Another Shakespeare Doubter, book review

· Flights of Passage, book review

· The Lusitania, book review

· The Wilderness of Ruin, book review

· A Beautiful Mind, book review

· Another Planet, book review

· The Three Stooges, book review

· The God Particle


Poetry
· Fashion

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

· Snow-a-holic

· Girls Who Wear Glasses

· The Do Drop Inn

· Ode to Neve Campbell

· Jacks or Better 101

         More poetry...

David A. Schwinghammer, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.



Books by David A. Schwinghammer
Black and White and Red All over
By David A. Schwinghammer
Posted: Sunday, December 23, 2007
Last edited: Saturday, August 22, 2015
This short story is rated "PG" by the Author.
Share    Print   Save   Become a Fan
Recent stories by David A. Schwinghammer
· All the Good Stories Are Taken
· Soldier's Gap, Chapter One
· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three
· Little Crow
· Calliope's Revenge
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9
· Odyssey of a Southpaw
           >> View all 71
A Catholic school boy plans to kill an aged nun after being humiliated in class.
Black and White and Red All Over

"John Gibson, diagram sentence number four on the board, please," sister Mary Agnes said.

Johnny snapped awake. The last he remembered she'd been nattering on and on about the Spanish American War. The old nun, a cross between a bulldog and a catfish with the whiskers to prove it, had been getting it all wrong
again--he knew 'cause he wanted to be a marine when he grew up and had read up on all the famous battles. She'd been lauding the efforts of Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders charging up San Juan Hill, when anybody with a grain of sense knew the Spanish had the high ground and TR's actions had been foolish and impetuous.

The Spanish American War and its battles were a blip on the screen of history anyway. He could give this sleepy class a jolt if he told them about Julius Caesar's siege of Alesia, where Caesar'd trounced Vercingetorix and 80,000 Gauls, building fifty miles of field fortifications when surrounded by Gallic allies marching to Vercingetorix's rescue.

And so he'd fallen asleep again, with his eyes open, a tactic you had to learn in Sister Mary Agnes's class if you wanted to see your fourteenth birthday and the large check you were expecting from your Uncle Willie, who had the coolest job in the world, quality control for Harley Davidson.

Momentarily, Johnny looked up at the board behind the flag that the class said the pledge of allegiance to each morning. In blue chalk the nun had written: "Girls--$55.43; Boys--$37.22." The girls were way ahead of the boys in the mission competition, something that really galled him.

"John Gibson. Did you hear me? Stop that woolgathering!" She sounded exactly like the witch with the trained monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. He could kick himself for not noticing she'd changed speeds on him. English could get you killed if you didn't stay one step ahead of her.

(You can read the whole story at Mysterywriter.net) Companion short stories dealing with Catholic school are "Today I Go to God" and "Prodigy With Hooves" both posted on Authorsden.

Dave Schwinghammer's published novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available at Amazon.com.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Web Site: Mystery Writer  

Reader Reviews for "Black and White and Red All over"


Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Membership?
Click here to Join!


Reviewed by Sandi Schraut 11/29/2011
Nuns as teachers were often alternatly intimidating and annoying, those in my family taught by them referred to them as 'crows'. This title was not meant to flatter. They did teach you to diagram a sentence however!!! not a skill in great need these days, as you can see this excerpt has brought memories to fore....good writing, p.s. line 13 has the word class miss-spelled. Sandi

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
3. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
4. A Man and His Dog
5. Rose is dead
6. A Reluctant Father Christmas
7. Poetic Injustice
8. Looking For Mr. Golfball
9. Top 10 Things to Avoid Doing…Now and Forev
10. Indigo, the cat who encouraged Christopher


Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.