Batman
Lieutenant Commander Hanks really liked his job. He was well suited for it. A Bachelors Degree in Mechanical Engineering, followed by a Masters Degree in Environmental Management from the University of Oklahoma, gave him the kind of credentials that the US Navy looked for in a ship’s engine room inspector.
It was when he boarded the guided missile cruiser in Hawaii that he first heard the “Batman” story. While inspecting the engine room with the Executive Officer and a Chief Petty Officer, he noticed something strange happening when a certain young Seaman walked in and some of the crew started humming, “Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman.” The young sailor just turned red and looked down at the deck.
After seeing this happen more than once, Hanks just had to ask, “Ok Chief, what’s the story behind the Batman theme song when that one Seaman’s around?”
“Well Sir,” the Chief said, “it started last month when we put into port in Australia. As soon as we were given shore leave, a bunch of us from the engine room went into town looking for some fun. It was when we found this little bar with rooms for the working girls upstairs that the trouble started.”
“Sounds like a good place for trouble,” Hanks said, “so what happened?”
“Well Commander, it was like this. We were just drinking and having a good time. Some of the men had already been upstairs with a few hookers. Then this real sexy babe with long black hair came walking down the stairs.”
“And she was trouble, right?”
“Yes Sir, and she looked like trouble too. She had on a little black leather mini skirt and matching halter-top, and a pair of black stiletto high heels. That was one sexy woman, had a body that just wouldn’t quit.”
“So what happened, Chief, men get into a fight over her?”
“Oh, no Sir, most of us didn’t want anything to do with her. She looked too damn wild and unpredictable for anyone who had been around much.”
“I can understand that, so what did she do to cause trouble?”
“Well Commander, she started going around to the men, sitting in their laps, rubbing her tits up against them, trying to get them excited. And every guy she got near, she asked if he was into kinky sex.”
“Were any of the men interested?”
“No Sir, not really. She was a little too crazy acting for most of us, at least those of us with a little common sense.”
“So where does the Batman thing come in, Chief?”
The old Chief laughed and said, “Commander, the only one she could find who was interested in her kinky sex was our young Seaman. When she asked him, he almost broke his neck following her up those stairs.”
“What did she do to him? Steal his wallet?”
“No Sir, she didn’t do anything to him. He probably wishes she had. He would have liked her a lot better than Batman.”
“Batman?”
“Yes Sir, Batman. We waited for our young Seaman for more than an hour. Then we went upstairs looking for him. We found him in a room face down on a bed, butt naked. His hands and feet were tied to the bed and he had a gag in his mouth. When we asked what the hell happened to him he said, ‘Batman.’”
“Batman?”
“Yes Sir. Seems that when they got to the room she stripped down to a black leather G-string, then undressed our guy. After she got him real turned on, she asked if he was sure he was ready for some kinky sex. Being young, dumb and horny he said, ‘sure.’ Then she tied him to the bed and gagged him. And once again she asked him, ‘Do you really want some kinky sex?’ When he nodded his head yes, she opened the closet door, and out jumped a guy wearing a Batman costume.”
“Ok, finally Batman’s here,” the Commander said, “then what happened?”
The old Chief laughed again and said, “Batman pulled out a large dick and proceeded to sodomize our young Seaman. Twice.”
When they finally stopped laughing, Commander Hanks said, “I believe if I was in the Seaman’s shoes I would have kept my mouth shut about what had happened.”
“Yes Sir, I agree,” the Chief said, “I don’t know if he will ever be able to live it down on this ship.”
Back at his quarters at Pearl Harbor, Commander Hanks couldn't help thinking, "Batman. Now that's one for the books.
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