Something Hairy This Way Comes
Lance Corporal Ward was keeping a close eye on the new guy. The Platoon Leader had put the FNG in the middle of the patrol just for that reason. Having old timers like Ward in front and behind him should keep him out of trouble. So far everything had been quiet; if the Viet Cong were operating in the area they were laying low.
Pushing through heavy jungle undergrowth was hot and tiring work. The air was thick, humid and hard to breath. No cooling breeze stirred through the triple canopy jungle. Fatigues were soon soaked with sweat. Canteens got emptied in a hurry. Brushing against rip vines and cursing as they left small thorns in his flesh, Ward remembered his first patrol. Smiling to himself, he thought, “Tough as this is on me it’s a lot harder on the new guy.” Looking ahead, he watched the FNG duck as he went under some low limbs.
Suddenly the new guy froze and, letting out a blood-curdling scream, he threw his rifle in the air, dropped his pack ,and started swinging his arms around his head as he started to run. But when his forehead collided with a low limb and knocked him flat on his back, it also knocked his boonie hat off with the large tree spider that was riding on top of it.
The hairy long legged tree spider would have more than covered a dinner plate, but the terrified FNG didn’t realize it was completely harmless. All he knew was that it had dropped onto the top of his head when he had jostled the limb it was on. As far as he was concerned, the damn thing had attacked and needed to be dealt with.
As Ward splashed water from his canteen onto the new guy’s face, the hairy spider scampered back up the nearest tree. Revived, the FNG had a golf ball sized lump on his forehead and one hell of a headache, but would suffer no long-term damage except maybe some loss of pride. And that was something he could live with.
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