Dedicated to the Defrancesco family

Steve Defrancesco is a good friend of mine, who is like a brother to me.

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It was a hazy summer day in Orange, CT back in the mid to late 1970's.  The kids in the neighborhood were running through the sprinklers on their front lawns, while some of the neighbors were sitting in their inflatable pools.  Every once in a while, someone would yell, "ooouuuuch!" as their bare feet hit the sizzling pavement.  The plush, green lawns lined the sides of the streets while the pink and lavender roses cascaded over the fences.  The lyrics to the Elton John songs blared out of the back yards as a woman named Rose Defrancesco yelled, "Steve, put your shoes on! you'll burn your feet!" 

Please put on your bathing suit and sunglasses as you take a walk with me and my buddy, Steve Defrancesco to his grandparents' home in Orange, CT.  His grandparents, Antoinette Carbone Defrancesco and Vito Defrancesco were from Naples, Italy.  Enjoy  your visit with them. They  will get the grill going as you enjoy your swim in their pool on a Sunday afternoon. I am sure that Steve's Uncle Sal will be in the basement making zeppole or another favorite dish.

"My Aunt Rose was the matriarch of the family," Steve said.  "She kept everyone in line, especially me." Steve is like a brother to me, so he opened his heart to share his story.  He mentioned that his Aunt Rose was very fashionable and was always on a diet.  I envisioned her hoop earings, platforms, gaucho pants, (remember those goucho pants? they were flare at the bottom and went to the knee? It was a combination of a skirt and pants) and a fashionable blouse from her favorite store, which was "Nora Zandre".  Steve said that his Aunt enjoyed shopping at "Nora Zandre's. 

Steve's Aunt Rose took Steve to church every Sunday at the Holy Infant Church in Orange. Also, she took Steve to Chip's pancake house. "I remember the juicy blueberries in the pancakes and the whip cream. Steve said that his Aunt Rose always ate the same thing every Sunday, which was a ham and cheese omelette even though she was on a diet. Afterwards, they went to the  Sunday gatherings at their grandparents' house.  Steve still remembers his grandmother Antoinette saying, "I am going to put in a swimming pool for my grandchildren."  His grandfather, Vito smiled and agreed, while at the same time he thought of all the extra work he would have to do to keep it clean.

Steve still remembers his Uncle Tony (they used to call him Uncle Tut) cooking on the grill on the stone patio in his grandparents' yard. "Did you get the steak?," and "did you buy enough chicken?" echoed across the yard.   Of course there was enough steak and chicken for the family and all the neighbors. They never forgot the A-1 steak sauce and barbecue sauce. Steve smiled and said, "Every Sunday felt like a vacation when I went to my grandparents' house. Many neighbors stopped by and jumped right in the pool! The bright pink, blue, and yellow towels were lined up neatly on the fence by the pool, while the rubber beach thongs or flip flops as we called them were in all sizes were right next to the ladder of the pool.  Some of the relatives and neighbors stayed so long that they all had indents of lines on the back of their thighs and legs from the lounge chairs. The scent of the citronella candles trickled into the yard, while the bright beach balls, plastic rafts and inner tubes floated in the pool.  It brought back memories of my Aunt Anna's house in Bridgeport.  She had the cleanest pool. I still remember the scent of chlorine while my older cousin jumped into the pool from top of the garage! I was so little back then, I thought that my cousin was so cool causing this huge tidal wave in the pool. 

Steve said that being an Italian American meant the closeness of friends and family on Sundays.  Although Steve does not listen to songs from Naples, and they did not play a musical instrument, he said that he and his family loved to listen to Dean Martin, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra.  "Sometimes we would enjoy the farm which was across the street from my grandparents' house".  Steve explained that it was a big farm with a cornfield. This reminded me of the farm near my own Aunt Anna's house when she moved to Stratford, CT. Sometimes we would all take a walk around the block and I would stop in front of a farm right around the corner from her house. I liked to look at the fireflies in the open field. Steve's grandparents spoke English, but they spoke Italian when they did not want the kids to understand what they were talking about!

"I have a vivid image of my Aunt Rose," Steve said.  "She was a teacher, so she used to help me with my book reports for school, and she even walked across a big patch of ice at the library so she can help me with my homework.  One day,  Steve's teacher said, "Steve, please come to see me..."  Uhh oh. This meant trouble.  Steve had beads of sweat on his forehead when his teacher asked, "did you write this report yourself? tell me the truth." Steve heard the drum roll in his head as he envisioned a trip to the Principal's office. Suddenly,  he said, "no, my Aunt Rose Defrancesco wrote it." We all know how scary it must have been to be caught red handed by a teacher!

During football season, Steve and the rest of the family gathered at his grandparents' house to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers on television. They were Steelers fans at his house.  There were plates of spaghetti and meatballs in the kitchen while the family bonded watching the game. My own family bonded during soccer and hockey games at my relatives' house while we ate frittata, pizza fritte, or meatball grinders smothered in sauce.

"Sometimes I would spend all day and night at my Aunt Rose's house." Steve said that she  always helped him with his homework and they travelled together.  Steve remembers visiting the Hyatt hotel which has the rotating floor at the top of the building. Also, he remembers going to San Francisco with his aunt. His aunt did not drink a lot of alcohol, but she loved drinking flavored liquers. The conversation was always the same, "where are we eating, when are we eating.?.." Steve's aunt always corrected his grammar and kept him on the right path. "Stand up straight, don't swim right after you eat, and put on sunblock, your going to fry in the sun," always came out of his aunt's mouth. I am sure that can of Solarcain was next to the pool.

Steve was blessed with the Italian traditions and the Jewish traditions, as his maternal grandparents, Josephine and Bill Greenhouse fed him delicious Jewish foods, such as Kugel, which is macaroni pie, and briskette.  Also, Steve enjoyed hallah bread. "Hallah bread french toast is the best," he said.  Sometimes, Steve would enjoy matzah ball soup and chopped liver.  "We used to go to Katz's Deli in Woodbridge, CT." I have been told it was a great deli!

Steve's maternal grandmother, Josephine Greenberg-Greenhouse used to tell Steve, " Steven, have fun when you are young!"  Her grandmother got along well with the Italian side of the family.  Her father  used to own 57 rental homes.   Also, Josephine was a well travelled woman who appreciated Jewish and Italian traditions.  Her first husband owned a grocery store on Chapel Street in New Haven, CT.  After her first husband's death, she remarried a man who was as a Pharmacist.   After he had passed away, Josephine sold the building.   Josephine used to sigh and say, "Steven, I should have never sold that building...." She would always mention that as she drove passed the building.

Sometimes his Uncle Sal would cook in the basement. He used to make zeppole for desert and crabmeat sauce for the spaghetti. He will never forget the fried eel and fried shrimp on Christmas Eve and visions of his grandmother and his uncle cooking.

Steve started to tag along to the Scungilli Cub with his father. Sometimes, Steve watched his father play bocce. His father played bocce behind the another club, which was called the Campania Club. "I loved watching my father play bocce behind the club. Sometimes we would eat at the University Restaurant and Grill. My mother used to call the restaurant or the club a few times looking for my father...where is he? when is he coming home?."  Steve stays close to his traditions through Italian American social clubs. He ran in some of the races at the Campagnia Club. This triggered my own memories. I remember my Uncle Rocco disappearing for hours at the Italian Clubs back then.

Steve has a brother, Mark.   He said that they always picked on each other when they were younger. "I was mad that he got the bed that had the window next to it," Steve said.   Mark was the social butterfly and had all of the girlfriends, while Steve was the quiet one.  

One day, Steve's Aunt Florence said, "I have a nice girl I want you to meet." Of course, his family was happy that the young woman, Francine,  was an Italian American. They used to take trips to Maine together and he took her to a restaurant called Anthony's  in Guilford, CT. Steve said that they broke up because he did not want to get married at the time.   I hope that Steve meets someone nice who is right for him.

Steve's message is that it is "important to stay close to family, the traditional food, laughter, love and warmth. This is how to keep the traditions alive. I enjoy your stories, Joanna, especially when you read them on the radio at WPKN and another station. I realized how important traditions are in our lives when I heard your travel stories and your family stories."