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Regis Auffray

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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Dead Man Dancing
By Regis Auffray
Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Not rated by the Author.

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Death can be joyful and very liberating as Mr. Livingstone found out.

 
    When Mr. Reginald (“Rocky” to his few close friends) Livingstone woke up on November 1st, he was dead.  

    He’d had that recurring nightmare again.  Ever since he could remember, the nightmare had been a regular visitor to his sleep.  In it, a veiled shadow was chasing him and, just as it was about to reveal its face, he always woke up.
         
        Mr. Livingstone decided that he was dead when he got out of bed.  He had been in denial he thought.  He had been dead for some time.  Now upon admitting it, he felt as though he were floating.  He admitted that he had been lying to himself; and now this huge burden of guilt was removed.  It was strangely exhilarating; scary but freeing at the same time.  It left a bittersweet but not unpleasant sensation in the pit of his stomach. 

       He went through his usual routine.  He began to rationalize.  Routine was his life so he couldn’t very well give it up just because he was dead now could he? 
·       Pushups (50) 
·       Floss teeth 
·       Shave
·       Pushups (another 50)
·       Brush teeth
·       Get dressed 
·       Coffee 
·       Put on shoes 
·       Pick up briefcase 
·       Push button on remote control for garage door 
·       Open front door
·       Lock door
·       Get in car 
·       Back out of garage 
·       Push button on remote control to close garage door
·       Engage transmission
·       Drive to the office

        All this he did while dead and he found that he enjoyed it very much as his dead brain ticked “check” after each item on the routine list.  He was also delighted to find that he could skip some items and nothing bad happened.  So he skipped a lot of them.  Yes, being dead was very freeing.

       As usual, Mr. Livingstone drove carefully but he found that, contrary to his usual fear of fender benders and such, he was completely relaxed and rather enjoying the drive.  As he got closer to the downtown core, the traffic became more and more congested.  Soon, it was at a standstill.  Mr. Livingstone was not bothered by this at all.  He was dead.  He moved his dead body to the music.  He wished he had some Grateful Dead tunes but Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” seemed appropriate enough and as he listened to the fast part, he felt uplifted and full of self-confidence.  He could see the office building where he worked up ahead.  “Foundation Fidelity Financial – In Us You Trust,” flashed the sign.  Oh yeah, the good old FFF.  Man, he could think of some words to fit those initials.  Normally, he would chase those nasty thoughts from his mind.  His mother had always said to chase away the devil thoughts with Jesus thoughts.  Well now, he was dead and to hell with morals and long dead mothers who had constantly reminded him of how unworthy he was. 

       The traffic was not moving at all.  After some minutes, as the music to Led Zeppelin’s famous hit came to an end, Mr. Livingstone thought that a walk would do him good.  Dead people don’t need cars anyway, he thought.  He turned off the engine, took his briefcase and got out of the car.  It was amazingly noisy and the rather frigid air was full of fumes but he was not bothered by any of this at all.  Normally, he would be thinking of pollution and his health and global warming and the vanishing ozone layer and the melting polar ice caps and… and… and…  But now?  Ha!  He could not have felt better.  This dead to the world thing had something to it.  It was very liberating.  As he walked away from his car, the drivers behind him began to honk and shout curses at him.  He was not oblivious to them.  He rather basked in all the attention given him.  Wow, finally, some recognition.  I am stirring my surroundings for a change.  Look at me!  I am dead!  Whee!  I am free!  He waved at the furious commuters with a beatific smile on his face as he walked across the lanes of traffic in the direction of the office tower.  

        Mr. Livingstone entered the building and took the elevator to the twenty-second floor.  He was late by some twenty-five minutes but he did not care.  His colleagues stared in unbelief as he sauntered past their glassed-in offices.  He smiled his serene smile.  Had they never seen an unshaven man in pajamas before?  Okay, so he’d forgotten his shoes.  Had they not ever heard of how it was much better for one’s health to liberate one’s toes, particularly when one was dead?  Most likely not.  But they would learn.  Soon.  They would have to if they wanted to survive.  They’d have to follow his example.

        He walked past Merle Bosman’s office.  Merle – Mr. Livingstone was sure it was the first time he’d ever dared think of him as Merle and not as Mr. Bosman – the director of personnel, did not look pleased at all.  In fact, he looked genuinely about to have a conniption.  Mr. Livingstone thought of how he loved that word.  Conniption was a good word.  It could mean a lot.  He’d never caused anyone to have a conniption before.  Being dead gave him a new sense of power.  At last he was making a difference around him.  He was being noticed. 

       “Conniption! Conniption!  You’re having a conniption, Merle!”  He laughed the hearty laugh of a truly happy man.

       Merle was gesticulating wildly at Mr. Livingstone.  The latter smiled at him and entered his own office.  From the corner of his eye, he could see Merle trying to get his attention and waving him over.  Mr. Livingstone ignored him.  He put down his briefcase.  He stared at the logo on the paperweight on his desk.  “Foundation Fidelity Financial – In Us You Trust” read the inscription in shining letters.  How he hated that damned paperweight.  Oops, had he actually said the “d” word?  What would mother say?  He chuckled.  Who gives a flying futon? he thought.  I am dead.

       Merle was banging on the glass partition now and emphatically waving Mr. Livingstone over to him.  Mr. Livingstone slowly made his way into Merle’s office smiling his serene, senile smile all the while.

       “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Livingstone?” screamed the director of personnel.  “Have you completely lost it?”

       “You could say that,” replied Mr. Livingstone very calmly.  “I’m dead.”  I’ve bought the farm as they say.  Well actually, I sold the farm but that was in my past life when I was still alive.  Yes indeed I have kicked the bucket.  I’m pushing up daisies.  My expiry date’s come due.  I’m as dead as a doornail.  I’ve cashed in my chips.  I’m as dead as a bluebottle fly in a pitcher of milk.  And you know what?  I’m loving every minute of it.  You should try it.  You’d be way better off dead anyway.  In fact, you are dead Merle.  You are a dead man!”

       “Is that a threat, Livingstone?  Are you threatening me?” demanded Merle.

       Mr. Livingstone smiled.

       “Is that all, Merle?” he asked.  And before the incensed Merle could respond, Mr. Livingstone turned away and walked slowly back to his office.

       He went to his desk.  He picked up the hated paperweight.  It felt good in his hands, quite heavy but not too much so.  Like a baseball.  He looked into Merle’s office.  The latter was on the telephone.  Mr. Livingstone lifted the paperweight and, with all the strength of his newly acquired freedom in death, hurled it at the computer screen on Merle’s desk.  With great fracas, the paperweight smashed through the glass partition, shattered the computer monitor’s screen and imbedded itself neatly there, the shining logo proclaiming, “Foundation Fidelity Financial – In Us You Trust.”

       Merle was visibly shaking.  He had dropped the telephone and stood completely still.  He appeared unreservedly horrified.

       Mr. Livingstone felt an ethereal sense of elation and well-being.  He saw the policemen coming and went to greet them.

       “Good day, gentlemen,” he said.  “I am the dead man you are looking for.”

       The police put him in handcuffs.  His colleagues stared at him through their glass boxes.  He could see that they were dead but they had not yet grasped the concept.

       “You’re all dead!” he screamed.  “You just don’t realize how wonderful it is to embrace death.”  Look at me!  Look at how happy I am!  I am free!  Whee!”

       That night while Mr. Livingstone soundly slept the sleep of the dead, the shadowy figure came into his dream again.  This time however, it had time to remove the veil from its face and Mr. Livingstone was thrilled to see that it was he, smiling lovingly at himself.
 
Copyright 2003 by Regis J. Auffray
All rights reserved

  

 

 

 


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Reviewed by c lea harris 3/17/2013
held my breath, strange how we dream some of the strangest dreams, then when we wake up to find that it was just a dream, some of them I am glad they are, that's for sure,
Reviewed by Lena Kovadlo 10/26/2012
This was certainly an interesting story. Kept me glued to the screen with every line. Very descriptive story. Has a bit of humor in it but also depth and much to think about. After I finished reading the story I wanted more. Perhaps you can continue this story further... Oh and now I am inspired to get back into writing short stories and such again. Thank you.

I have noticed you've used the word 'unbelief' in your story. I've never heard of this word before. It should say 'disbelief' instead...
Reviewed by Clarence Prince 3/9/2012
"Dead Man Dancing",A story indeed, Regis Auffray! Sweet dream Mr. Livingstone, enjoy your sleep! This is a real nice piece of work, my friend.
Reviewed by Marie Wadsworth 2/20/2012
Just a FYI: My sense of humor is non existant and I rarely laugh at anything, not even comedian stand-up routines I like. This really made me laugh. This story was about a man who isn't afraid of and is happy about death.

This story made me think about Charles Dicken's "A Christmas Carol." I don't know why though because there isn't a connection. I thought it was a moral story in a way, but the lesson is subtle. Livingstone has come to grips that he's free from the routine and all the stress of life because he's dead and as a result has no worries.

Some thoughts I had. I thought the main character's name was appropriate and hilarious! I wondered if the main character had perhaps not lived in life so that was why he had the routine and went to work. That part that he went to work I didn't quite get. Keep in mind my lack of a sense of humor. The only reason Livingstone went to work was to cause and get into trouble. Something struck me as off there. Livingstone didn't have to go into work. He's dead. What was the point of him going to the office? He was there to teach his co-workers who were also dead to accept death and be happy about it. His co-workers hadn't come to grips with being dead and weren't happy about it. The problem was Livingstone didn't realize till later in the story that his co-workers were also dead. Why didn't he know that? It's funny that he would rub his own death in the faces of his living co-workers. Still, if everyone is dead, what happened to everyone? Again, that's why I thought this was some moral tale. I thought it was Livingstone's job to teach the other deceased that death was cool. But why would he have such a job? Maybe Livingstone's one of the rare deceased to be at peace with death and they are tasked to bring the other deceased ones over after they're at peace with it.

The ending was off to me too. I didn't get the shadowy figure mentioned. I guess he could have been Hades or the Grim Reaper. Those guys would have fit the humor of the story. The ending made me wonder if Livingstone was dead or not. The beginning said he was and sleep is a euphemism for death. Still it wasn't clear why there was a shadowy figure in Livingstone's sleep. Maybe a sentence to reassure the reader Livingstone is indeed dead. It sounded like the movie "Groundhog Day" where everything repeats. That whole scenario goes with moral tales or it was just supposed to be funny.

Wait a minute here. I've carried on way too far. This was just supposed to be hilarity. Forget all I've said because it'd change everything. Forgive my lacking sense of humor.

Excellent tale. Will use this with my student.
Reviewed by Shoma Mittra 10/15/2011
Really enjoyed reading this!Terrific. :-) shoma
Reviewed by J Howard 10/7/2011
i read it twice. clever, very clever front to back, start to finish. but...i don't think i will rethink the feeling of "6 feet under!"
Reviewed by Janna Hill 8/26/2011
What a humorous perspective. Well done. Thank you sir.
Janna
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 8/25/2011
This was a very clever and creative story, Regis! I loved your images--especially of a dead man driving a car care-free, dancing in his seat to Led Zeppelin! I loved the office interaction and "freedom" and attitude of this dead man. Such funny lines, too! Loved your story! Love and hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Ruan Mills Burke 6/24/2011
WOW! Great story telling, Regis, this is obviously your strength. I was utterly blown away by this incredible tale that, to me, was about a man completely 'losing it'. Brilliant!
Reviewed by bluecornflower orangetiger 2/14/2011
remarkable.
Reviewed by Clarrissa Moon 12/2/2010
This was incredable. Thanks for sharing!
Reviewed by Steve Groll 11/9/2010
That was fun. What a wild ride! Keep those great stories coming.
Reviewed by JMS Bell 10/17/2010
TERRIFIC!!! A GEM....SO ENJOYED! I'D LOVE TO SEE THIS ACTED OUT. THANK YOU REGIS FOR SHARING. BLESSINGS, LOVE AND FAITH.
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Randy Stensaas 8/27/2010
great story, I loved it. we all have those dreams and days.
Reviewed by Darkest Angel 3/27/2010
This is a very nice tale of freedom in death. I loved it! Thanks for the work in this one.
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 9/1/2009
Regis, This has a "twilight zone" like effect. I was waitng for Rod Serling's end narration. Great stuff. Patrick
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser 8/26/2009
Yes, I agree with Dallas on this. You are a very good storyteller. I was going to write a story about this very same theme too; but never did. I will now have to start reading more of your short-stories too. Whew! So much great stuff, where does one start? I love the macabre humor thing as you might have ascertained by now. More later.
Reviewed by Melissa Mendelson 6/7/2009
Through the talent of a great storyteller, you are introduced to a man, who thinks himself dead, and you have to wonder, "If you don't live, are you really alive?"
Reviewed by Dallas D'Angelo-Gary 4/13/2009
I really enjoyed this story, Regis! It is truly imaginative. Well done!
Reviewed by Mark Teague 4/9/2009
Well, after all, what is Sanity, besides those bothersome Have-to's Society has pasted on top of our natural Want-to's? This fortunate soul, having at long last realized that, took a little WD-40 and a putty knife, and abandoned those unwanted proscriptions at one feld swoop. But had his freedom come at too great cost?
Reviewed by Gwendolyn Thomas Gath 3/31/2009

Regis I enjoyed reading your thought provoking story.
Shall read more on another visit.

Thank you for sharing,
Gwendolyn

Reviewed by Tommy Thomas 3/30/2009
This is quiet unique in that Rocky woke up dead and experienced a new life after death. So amazing it is that he convinced others that they were dead also and it was a happy time for them all. Good original work. Continue your beautiful writing that keeps the reader thinking.

Tommy
Reviewed by P. G. Shriver 3/28/2009
Regis,

Weirdness in writing is my true love! The 'death freeing us from normal daily routine' reaches out to a wide audience, I'm certain. This story really makes you ponder whether or not that 'rat race' part of yourself could really die and free your spirit from societal norms. Could I go to work in my pajamas? I'm working on that one! It's an inspirational write.

GP :)
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 11/27/2008
Well written Reg. A fun read. Very clever indeed. Wouldn't we all love to feel that kind of freedom each day? Free from the expectations of others. I particularly liked your word picture of the office workers set in glass cases or partitions, not unlike the zoo. lol
Kind regards J'nia
Reviewed by Hatshepsut Maatkare 11/17/2008
This was an AWESOME story! You grabbed my attention from the first sentence to the very last. You have a vivid imagination and a sense of humour that shows through your work. Great job!

:) Monica
Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 10/9/2008
Sometimes life throws more at us than we can handle and there are those that "snap". That is how I read this story that you have written. Maybe my job makes me feel this way, but I think this write can be taken a few ways. Each will interrupt it the way they see it in their mind. Well done Regis.
hugs
Kathy Lynn
Reviewed by David Pennebaker 9/5/2008
FFFantastic. You say Mr. Livingstone is dead, yet you absolutely brought him to life in this story. Great story.
Reviewed by Damien Rickner 4/13/2008
Harlem shuffle off that mortal coil. Bravo!
Reviewed by L-M Owens 12/30/2007
This is a great piece Regis. It kept my interest and the plot kept me reading to find out if he was dead or just plain crazy. Great "Twilight Zone" feel to it.
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 11/15/2007
Strong imagination in play here, Regis! Haven't we all wanted to throw that paperweight at one point? Once, I gave the computer screen on my forklift a chicken-wrist strike and it spider-webbed. Bad me. It felt good, though! Glad those days are behind me. I enjoyed this story~ Sheila:)
Reviewed by Jane Pierce 9/29/2007
Nice piece of wrighting, Regis. Like this very much.
Reviewed by Annette Hendrix Williams 9/11/2007
I am overwhelmed. Thank you for making my day.
Reviewed by David Perry 8/31/2007
So ding-dang funny. You're a trip Regis, a rare and true Original.
Reviewed by John Leko 8/13/2007
I like this story Regis... seriously humorous...reminds me of how I have felt about many jobs in my life I have taken...and had no passion for. I believe I have had this dream you have detailed. Now someone wake me up...
Thank You
John
Reviewed by Myles Saulibio 7/25/2007
Very entertaining, thought provoking, and socially simulating my Friend--
Aloha--Myles
Reviewed by Star West 7/25/2007
My gosh this story really makes you stand up and take notice... Its an awesome job, your a great writer. I loved this love **STAR WEST
Reviewed by Elizabeth Parsons 6/24/2007
Great story! I very much enjoyed. A dark subject handled with humor. And to be truthful I've so wanted to throw something like that at my bosses a few times in the past. Fortunately I've restrained myself...but then I wasn't dead. :)

Elizabeth
Reviewed by Mary Coe 6/23/2007
Great character names. Very interesting write. Enjoyed very much.
Reviewed by Jessica Lark 4/2/2007
I like the light humorous way you have dealt with this story, however dark the reality may be. And the first line, what a brilliant hook!
All the best
Jessica.
Reviewed by L Hippler 3/3/2007
Wonderful first sentence! And you kept me hooked right to the end. Great character names as well.
Reviewed by Jean Pike 2/23/2007
Both delightful and insightful! Enjoyed it much!
Reviewed by Joyce Bowling 12/28/2006
I must say that I have enjoyed Dead Man Dancing more than any short story that I have read in a long time! I loved it! Great write, hilarious yet morbid, yet also a lesson hidden within the lines. We can't hide our true selves...this would make a KILLER movie. Loved the character, and the ironic twist. Great stuff. Glad that I came over to the short story side this early Thursday morning...going to have to stop by more often!
Blessings for the upcoming year...I'm still smiling from this story...loved it!
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 12/17/2006
lol. he found himself. Too bad it took so much to go that far. But it takes a lot for all of us to realize that we are running and that we are just running from our true selves. The rat race has passed me by and I'm glad of it, too. Excellent again. Liz
Reviewed by Riley :) 12/10/2006
wow. that was pretty far out. but very good!! loved it. have to agree with CS. Very amazing. pretty funny though too.
Reviewed by Linda Ames 5/10/2006
Regis,
this is great! i loved your characters' names and all that they stood for. well done!
linda
Reviewed by Jill Carpenter 12/15/2005
Regis,

This one was great fun to read, start to finish. I found myself laughing out loud a time or two. Very nicely done, entertaining, thought-provoking, and very appreciated by this reader. All of the nice reviews you have gotten for this one are well deserved!!
Jill
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 11/4/2005
I'm so free and happy, Regis, I must be dead - lol. Great funny write! Very entertaining! Lol.

God bless, Regis!

Sandie.
Reviewed by Michael Ault 7/16/2005
What a wonderfully morbid tale! Loved it...I work many folks who don't realize they are dead...

Mike Ault
Reviewed by M. B. 7/11/2005
Wow, Regis, DEAD MAN is one helluva read! Excellent twists!! Kept me riveted from beginning to end...

~Mari
Reviewed by The Smoking Poet 7/10/2005
Delicious, Regis. Liberating indeed, to be free of all the stresses and fears, all the anxieties and inhibitions and hangups and worries and obligations and empty duties of life. The trick... to do this while living...
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 5/23/2005
This short story is uncanny hilarious, Regis!!!! Yet in a way sad and freeing. I loved every word of reading it!!

Peace.
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very 3/21/2005
Regis This is a Fanastic story. Would make a Great movie! and series on tv too.
you really shed some happy different light onto being dead. Being alive being dead. Wonderful and happy. So free! Just really love this story Thanks Reg is talented in every way! stories poems and photography. I think I won't dread that day if this is the fun I can have. Thanks my friend (C:)
Love Tracey xo
Reviewed by Deborah Richards 3/21/2005
i like it, can i have a part.

debbie
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 3/21/2005
Regis:

I'm so thrilled to read your stories!!!!! They're so wonderfully-told and the plot are so well-organized. I really like the ideas of your stories. BRILLIANT work indeed!

Sandie Angel a.k.a. Sandie May Angel :o)
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 3/5/2005
well done
Reviewed by Danielle Mundy 11/27/2004
Absolutely wonderful, Regis!! I was hooked from the first line!!
Reviewed by Sage Writer 11/26/2004
This is intriguing. It made me want to read more. It's seasoned with great details, a tad bit humorous, but has a great deal of sci-fi and suspense to hold a reader's attention. I said all that to say, I truly like this story.
Reviewed by Sherry Gibson 9/2/2004
Regis,

Decided to read a few short stories today instead of poetry. Glad I did. This story drew me right in. You really have a great idea rolling on this one. Man, the way you grasped the way most people live and their need to be free was phenomenal! For a first draft I am impressed! This story could really go places. The writing is good Regis, but the thought process going on behind the story is what masters come up with. Not just being nice my friend, I can see it here!

Sherry
Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 5/28/2004
i like this story alot! it was engaging all the way thorugh, watching to see what he would do next, appreciating the concept of being dead and living life free...wnat a novel idea! lol from conception to execution, a tight write!
Reviewed by Joni Latham 4/5/2004
I was compelled to continue reading until the very end. Was he physically dead or if he had just decided that the all the things that we fret about in life are just not worth effort? Very good premise.
Reviewed by Susan Sparks 2/8/2004
My favorite part of this is the first line. It was impossible not to read on after reading that. Great job.
Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick 1/16/2004
good tale
Reviewed by Sandy Knauer 12/30/2003
I like this Regis. As a person who has contempleted death several times, met it a few times head-on, and known the ease with which it comes, this story stirred many familiar feelings in me. I also read it as a man liberating himself from binding chains. Very nice, and thought provoking.
Reviewed by Claywoman 12/11/2003
I love this story! You are a master of words guy!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/11/2003
A pure delight to read Regis!!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts....keep on writing!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 12/11/2003
This is a very entertaining story. Loved the ending. Your characterization is good, just like the girl in the bus. Remember I told you I could see her just by the dialogue? Same here. Good job, Regis. By the way: the girl in the bus... did those two ever get together? I want to know.

Carmen
Reviewed by Bonita Quesinberry 12/10/2003
Regis, this was an absolutely delightfully entertaining read, funny, and exceptionally well written. ~~Bonnie Q
Reviewed by Crystal-Rain Love 12/10/2003
Where do you come up with stuff? Great, as always. I always look forward to reading your work.
Reviewed by Tami Ryan 12/10/2003
This is good, Regis. It sent my mind wandering a million different ways. (Ummm... that's good, right? lol) This is creative and the reader is able to apply it as applicable to his/her life - in many ways!

Thanks,
Tami
Reviewed by Monette Bebow-Reinhard 12/10/2003
Okay, I was with you until the end. It was great fun following him around in death, but was he not really? Because he could smash things? Maybe he only wanted to be? Very enjoyable, thanks! Reminded me of how I often think I'll read the paper in the morning and find my own obituary there!
Mo
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 12/10/2003
Really enjoyed this, Regis! Great story. Made me think about so many things we do in life and hate, yet we do them anyway; and so many other things we wish we could do, but don't.
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 12/10/2003
Now this is an interesting and fun concept! Thanks for a great read!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 12/10/2003
(((regis)))

o, my--terrific read, i agree, this would make a wonderful one act play

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)
Reviewed by Cynth'ya cynthyaspeaks@gmail.com 12/10/2003
This would make one of the funniest one act plays one could imagine.
Great material Regis.
cynth'ya
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 12/10/2003
Good story, Regis; thanks for sharing! Enjoyed! (((HUGS))) and love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D Love you, Regis; peace and happiness to you always!


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Regis Auffray



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