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Tolu Tolu

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Chapter 8 Preview of Why and How Women Are Exploited by Men Worldwide
by Tolu Tolu   

Last edited: Sunday, December 15, 2002
Posted: Sunday, December 15, 2002

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Women's Roles in exploitation of other women




Chapter Eight

Katherine Hepburn: “Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do."


We as women, whether it's because we've been socialized to, or because this is what powerlessness creates. Women regularly participate in the enabling of other females’ exploitation. Females are programmed by parents, the school systems, and the media to think this way about ourselves. All around us we're programmed to be hostile, devious, manipulative, and especially extremely intolerant of other females. I’m not a sports person, but it would be great if women got to the point most men are in this particular instance...that is, when men get together they usually talk about other things. They do not talk about each other’s affairs. Most males talk business acumen, sports, and of course lie to each other about their accomplishments. Often the majority of them talk about sports, which is better than discussing each other’s personal business as we females do. When males get together they talk about the scores of various teams in sports. Ladies, when we get together, we've got to start talking about sports or some other topic than other women’s affairs. We’ve just got to stop talking about each other's business. I can’t stress to you how doing so is one of the most dangerous things women do against each other. Almost all the problems that women have our relationships with other women are because of discussing each other’s affairs. I mean the simplest little personal matters are given away without regard or respect for each other. Why do we have to, when we meet, talk about our girl friends? It’s the first thing a woman does and I don’t care what her level is. I know some women who are bright and ambitious and have accomplished a great deal and even they do this. Regardless what level they consider themselves on; the first thing female’s start talking about is their other females’ affairs. Women keep one ‘particular friend’ in their circle who has, in their opinion, a lot of problems, especially with men. They will discuss how she deals with men or allow men to mistreat her every time they talk with each other. They love to have this ‘particular friend’ that they open their conversations with. You won’t even know the ‘particular friend’, but they’ll start telling you about her. What happened to her, what she did, and what she has. Ladies, keep your mouth shut about your female friends and other women in general. You don’t need to talk to men about other females’ affairs. I understand why we do it, but let’s break that ill-directed behavior. While you’re sharing all this woman’s business, and I mean women go into very great details in what they are discussing about their girl friends’ business. Things that you have no right to share with someone else, and especially a guy. I don’t know whether women do this because they feel that this makes them look better, or they’re saying, you know, “I’m better off than that person.” “Look at that poor female over there, because this thing is happening to her.” Men talk about us, and they’re right when they say that the things women say about each other are unconscionable. It is. Most of all we just talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk about each other’s most intimate affairs. Maybe we don’t have enough hobbies and interests. Get yourself another interest to talk about. If you want to talk about something, get involved with some business venture. Talk with guys about that. Get a paying hobby. Talk about the stock market, or weaving rugs, designing, interior decorating, or civil engineering. Talk about anything but your female friends and your female relatives’ personal business.

I know that this is something that’s reserved just for women, because when women have “male friends,” and they don’t discuss this male’s affairs. They don’t tell that guy’s business. They don't discuss what that guy bought, how much money he has in the bank, how his girlfriend treated him. They don’t talk about every little aspect and personal detail on that guy. This dangerous blabbing is reserved only for other female’s affairs. Ladies, when you do this, you're putting that woman at a disadvantage...first of all, because your friend is not even aware of you sharing all her personal information with every guy you meet. Any male...your husband, boyfriend or significant other...any male doesn’t even have to ask you for this unknowing females business. That's how some of you open up a topic of conversation, with your female relatives and friends’ personal business. And you will tell anything about them. You blab about their finances, their sex lives, their health problems, problems they’re having with their children, psychological problems...anything. It's ridiculous. And what have you done? You have given some fellow information he has no right to have. We all know that information is power. When a person gets information, he has power.

That is what has made the computer industry such a powerful force in our lives. There is so much information, and so much speed in getting it. So if you understand that, and apply that to your giving out this information on other females, to males, you have given them power. They know things about that woman she doesn’t even know that they know about her. So when males know, for instance, that she just got a raise, or she just got a big inheritance…so they know how to play on her. When they come to her, thanks to you ladies, the male already know how her last lover, husband, or boyfriend or whatever, has treated her. Or he did this, or he didn’t do that, and so he knows exactly what to say and do, initially, to get in her corner. You ladies are the worst enemy of other women.

Again, when you give such information out regarding other females you have taken power from that lady. Someone will know what he has to do initially to play on that woman once he's gotten your information on her.

We women have to stop yearning to be special, and accepted by boobs in this very damaging manner to other females. Women and girls are always misinformed and anxious to go to boobs telling other females’ affairs to them. For acceptance and wishing hoping I suspect from the males. Ladies, girls, women, here's what you want to do. You want to keep quiet. I mean, I used to hear people say this a lot. I used to hear a lot about being quiet. Let me make this clarification here. If you can't talk about what's going on in the stock market, your own business, world affairs, and it’s perfectly great to talk about recipes or anything that’s not another woman’s business. Not talking would be better than talking about other ladies’ affairs. It would be great not to talk at all sometimes. Leave something to give yourself little mystery and intrigue.

How often has your husband told you the least insignificant piece of information about some guy that he barely knows? He protects that guy’s information and affairs. As though this guy were closer to him than you are. Your man will protect a male stranger affairs better than he protects yours. He would not talk to you about a guy he barely knows. Think about it. How often has a man come to you and told you about another man’s affairs? He will come to you about women he knows, co-workers, even his sister. Men don’t tell you about other men’s affairs or things that are going on in any male’s lives. Sit down and make a list. Write down guys’ names on a piece of paper, whoever he is, father, brother, boyfriend, co-worker, neighbor. Then under their names write the numbers of men and names of men whose affairs they have talked about to you. Put the man’s name down who came back and told you something about another man’s affairs. Then, ladies, do the same thing for you. Turn the paper over, and write down on the back of it how many times you have discussed some woman's affairs to any guy. We all do it. Maybe we don’t think about it. We're not aware of it. Some of us are aware of it, and we have these stupid explanations as to why we do it. It doesn't matter. Ladies, we need to be quiet on the subject matter of other women’s affairs. I want to be clear. I’m not saying not to talk on other things. By all means, talk, speak up, and talk on something that has some value, not something that is going to cause one of our sisters problems that she didn’t even know were lying in wait for her because of your big stupid mouth. Yes I said it and meant it. I've seen it before, where a man knew every pain a woman had, he knew what medication she was on, he knew how many times she had a bowel movement. And this information came from other females. He knew exactly what that woman’s vulnerabilities were, her strengths, her experiences, her fears, before he met her.

A lot of us have been in the military. A lot of us have served in battles all over the world. Those women who have been in the military will tell you, in any kind of engagement, or the thought or the possibility of engagement, one of the very most important things you want to know and do, in order to be able to win, is more information about the other side. Remember relationships between men and women are all about winning. Hopefully, win-win, but a lot of times it’s about somebody winning and somebody losing...and the person who loses before they can even get started is the person who is exposed. Who the guy already knows everything about. She’s lost! Because, since men are hunters by evolution, and also a lot of the hormonal factors that they have lends itself to that kind of hunting and conquering. Hunting and conquering is very similar to warfare. The difference in hunting and conquering a woman, and warfare in terms of going to war, is that hopefully he's not going to shoot, maim, or kill her with bullets. That’s the difference! The whole essence of it is that information, understanding the person, the group, the people, or whoever it is. Starting with and knowing as much information about them gives you a marked advantage. Not only should women stop talking so much about other women’s affairs, just don’t say anything about the woman.

Women, let's make this a rule. If the woman is not present, whether on the phone, or in the market, or wherever we are, let's not bring her up. Anything that needs to be discussed might be of interest for someone else to have on her, especially a male, let's not give that information out. That's not your role as a woman. Let her be the one to give out that information.

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