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Aubrey Hammack

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21 Clues That Suggest Your Mate Is Having An Affair
By Aubrey Hammack   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Monday, August 06, 2007
Posted: Sunday, April 16, 2006

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Affair Clues






There are clues that are usually obvious to a wife or husband that an affair is taking place.  But many times though the clues are so obvious, the marriage partner refuses to acknowledge them.  Perhaps it is about shame or there are feelings that this might end the marriage, wondering how it will affect the children, the economic hardships that it could cause, the possible embarrassment of family, friends or that simply the one being cheating on doesn’t want to deal with the idea that they are not loved anymore.  So the wife or husband though conscious of what is happening appears clueless that their mate is involved in an affair.  What are some of those clues?

Keep in mind that one or two of these clues might not necessarily mean that an affair is taking place, but several of them would certainly indicate the possiblity that something is out of kilter. 

1)      Lack of Emotional Sharing- A wife senses that her husband does not share emotionally with her.  Usually this has been going on for a while and this wife might just simply ignore this and even feel that to some degree this is normal as the marriage ages.

2)      Lack of Sexual Intimacy- A husband may sense his wife never seems to be in the mood for sex any more.  She will give excuses or will pull back when advances are made sexually or she refrains from touching or kissing her husband.

3)      No time alone- A wife might have a busy schedule that sees her being away from home more and more.  She might be working late for the boss and returning home late at night or she might over schedule herself in order to meet with an affair partner.

4)      Vacations a no go- The husband is working more and more and appears to be so locked into his job that the once eagerly awaited vacations are put on hold.  He uses the time to meet with his mistress.

5)      Frequent arguments-A husband might notice frequent arguments with his wife over simple things that build into bigger issues that serve to relieve guilt when she angrily lives the house to meet with someone.

6)      Buying a new perfume or cologne

7)      Purchase of sexy lingerie not worn

8)      Taking extended lunch breaks from the office and not being available when the spouse calls.

9)      The smell of a lady’s perfume on her husband that is not hers, or the smell of cologne on his wife that a husband does not wear.

10)  A sudden interest in attending movies alone.

11)  Workshops or job training that are out of town or shopping trips that are planned with a friend of the same sex frequently.

12)  New compact disc purchases that make romantic statements.

13)  Unaccounted money missing from the checking or credit card accounts.  Motel bills showing up on credit card statements.  Gifts purchased by credit card but never seen.

14)  An unusual friendship with a member of the opposite sex at work that sees a wife constantly mentioning this person’s name at home or calling her husband by another man’s name when love making or at other times.

15)  Frequent wrong numbers appearing on the caller id.  Finding excuses to leave the house at night to pick up cigarettes, gas or other items that could be readily taken care of during the day.

16)  Asking a friend to baby sit on the spur of the moment.

17)  Changing a hair style suddenly without warning or asking your mate to change theirs.

18)  Thinking of excuses to spend time alone at home.

19)  A Christmas gift purchase that a spouse knows is not for them.

20)  The purchase of sexy clothes by the wife that seems out of character for her.

21)  Joining a spa or exercise program and losing a significant amount of weight.



These clues will suggest to the husband or wife that the marriage partner is involved with someone else.  Many times the signs are right under a person’s nose and they for whatever reason choose to ignore them.  The smart thing to do if a husband or wife suspects the other is having an affair and sees clues such as described above is to confront your husband or wife.  If you are afraid to do this then by all means talk to a professional.  This could be a minister or a therapist.  Many times people in these situations talk to a close friend.  If this is done, you do have to be careful that a friend will keep this in confidence.  Remember not all friends will do this and some might not offer the best advice. 


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Reviewed by Susan Sonnen 4/30/2006
Your articles are so informative and important! I, like everyone else, hope to never experience unfaithfulness in a relationship. However, I know that it is a reality in this world. Thank you for all of the information that you provide us with!

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 4/16/2006
I'd Say It's Time To Turn Walk Away And Never Look Back...


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