A Cold Dreary Afternoon By Aubrey Hammack
Recently, while standing outside a restaurant on the square in Oxford, Mississippi on a cold, overcast, misting rain, winter day, I became reflective of my life. I guess on this sort of day, it is conducive for having those kind of thoughts. I am 57 years old, married and have three grandchildren,ages 3 months , 4 months and a year old. I have seen both of my kids with advanced college degrees. I believe they are reasonably happy with what they have chosen for life's work. My son is an Archaeologist and my daughter is completing her doctorate in Child Psychology.
On this date, while doing some self analysis, I realized that I am content with where am at this stage of growth. But,at the same time I also realize that I probably have had potential that I've ignored. This is probably true for most people that I know. I realize that many dreams that I had over the years, which became beaten and battered, will never be.I also think of the many people that have had profound influences on my life such as mom and dad, both whom are deceased,dying in 1981 and 1992.
I have lost others such as a brother in 1995 to cancer, a nephew, nieces, and two of my favorite brother-in-laws, a favorite boss, who died an untimely death at 36 years of age as well as a special friend that died suddenly in a car accident in 2002.
Although I have never used any illegal drugs to my knowledge, very seldom drank alcohol, have not been a smoker, I am not a perfect human being.
I have asked for forgiveness for my shortcomings and I also realize that this is not a one-time deal, that it has to be done on a regular basis because it is my belief that we all sin daily.
I miss and love all of those that have been mentioned in this article. For those close to me that I have lost through death, I hope that I will see them all in heaven one day. I hope also that with the time I have left that I can be a positive influence on those around me.
As I stood on that square on this day, with tears welling up inside, from the losses mentioned above, my prayer was simple. Lord help me to be kinder, more understanding, less selfish, more loving, and to become closer to you. Help me to see the good in people instead of the bad, and help me at all times to be ready to leave this world if you call.And when that does come, I hope most people who have really known me can say, "He was a good man".