A Letter from Hell to Heaven: In Memoriam Patricia Lance
edited: Wednesday, January 19, 2005
By +Steven Curtis Lance
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Posted: Wednesday, January 19, 2005
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"Yeah, I grew up to be a philosopher, I know. It's not your fault; I remember how you used to say 'God knows I've tried.'
God knows you did, Mommy."
But one young mother took it as divine
That I should come to her and she was mine
She held me as her destiny her chance
She cried "His name is +Steven Curtis Lance!"
"First star on the right and straight ahead till morning."
Mommy, I'm havin' an H-E-double-Q of a time down here, as Grandpa used to say. I know he's up there with you. God, I wish I were!
Yeah, I did meet a nice girl.
But I swear I never dreamed life could be so complicated. I'm 'bout sick of it.
"Had enough?" Yes ma'am I have.
I love you and I miss you. I know what you would say: "Be goo' boy." That used to embarrass me so much, but I would give what little I have left just to hear you say it again right now.
Remember when you used to drop me off at Cambridge Elementary School in your '59 Rambler American, baby blue? You quoted President Kennedy, from the inaugural address (remember Robert Frost was there that day, too?): "Pursue with vigor."
I've been pursuing with vigor all these long and weary years, and the sons of bitches are right behind me, pursuing me as I pursue.
But they'll never catch me. You know that, 'cause you know the kind of boy you raised.
God bless and keep you in the palm of his hand. You're the dearest, finest mother anybody ever had.
How I wish you were here with me tonight. I have never felt so alone in this whole absurd life. I guess you know I'm fifty years old now?
Well, I just wanted to say hello, and to tell you--right in front of all these fine people here--that you are my hero.
I wish you'd come here and haunt this old cold haunted house. There's nobody here but sad and scary types...
Yeah, I grew up to be a philosopher, I know. It's not your fault; I remember how you used to say "God knows I've tried."
God knows you did, Mommy.
I'll see you in the morning, at home.
Patricia Lance was born on 24 January 1934 and was called away to glory on 23 November 1998. She was the best friend this fool ever had.
"Aristotle says that in order to live alone, a man must be either an animal or a god. The third alternative is lacking: a man must be both - a philosopher." - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (1844-1900) German Philosopher, Poet
Web Site: +Steven Curtis Lance's Blog
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|Reviewed by Marguerite Lemoine
|A beautiful tribute to your Mom - I am sure she is blessing you from above - Keep praying to and for her - no prayers are unanswered or WASTED - they are applied to another soul in need. 'lil flower|
|Reviewed by Aberjhani
|As I was bopping back and forth between dimensions on this Friday night, I saw the title of this piece doing the same so decided to drop by for a moment. With each word written here you help to construct a glittering bridge of enduring and unconditional love. Or, if you prefer: a shimmering philosophy of trascendent love. The best of what was given and received remains alive in the act of reflection and appreciation. With all due respect to treasured cynicism, much more heaven here than hell. Thank you for writing your soul so openly upon the page. And gratitude also to the one who inspired you to do so. Peace.|
|Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G
|Wow Steve.. I just read this 4 the 1st time! Sorry- I just came upon it, Powerful STuff YOU felt... (feelings) here. Mom is proud of her son, as she is looking down at ya'- I can tell, by the relationship you OPenly had with her.
This saddened me,as a reminder of our parents we NEED to Always Love dearly...Thank you 4 that, Stevie- Love ya' -Lady,Sheee (Sheila) I hope your feeling more peace and love by now. Look deep within and keep writing-
It will be a Blessing from above! :) Sweet Dreamszzzzz... I enjoy your Poetry! YOu just have that way of clamping onto the heart!
|Reviewed by Dave Harm
|Very touching and moving. You are truly blessed to have a Mom as your best friend...|
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|I am so sorry for your loss, Stevie. No words can convey or do justice to what you are going through. Both are smiling at you from "heaven" (whatever is your concept of it I am sure it is beautiful). Sorry to be so late with my sympathy but I did not know until today. Love, peace, and strength to you. Regis|
|Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader)
|I'm so sorry. This is a wonderful story of your life with her. through this tribute I have had the chance to meet this wonderful lady, and I Thank you for that.
My thoughts are with you.
Love Tracey xo
|Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
|I think you have made your mother right proud Steve, truly I do.|
|Reviewed by Jimmy Holder
|I too think its quite beautiful!
If i changed mom to dad - it would appply to me in the same way too!
|Reviewed by Dara Keenan (Reader)
|That was absolutely beautiful Steven. I am sure your mom is very proud of you!
+Steven Curtis Lance