We really all want the very same thing but call "It" by different names and experiment in this or that way to get "it." In the end there is really only one way to succeed and we eventually wake up to that reality, in this process we call life.
By Bill Cottringer
What is “It?” “It” is the one thing we all want and yet do the same one thing to keep from getting. The trouble is that we have taken “It” apart and disassembled “It” into way too many different things, which has just increased the options we think we have for getting “It,” which ironically turn into more ways of not getting “It.”
We have defined “It” in infinite ways, as this partial list of definitions points towards:
• Making a difference
• Feeling good
• Peace of mind
• Authentic happiness
But “It” is the indescribable, “delicious” intrinsic feelings we get when we experience these things above, but only by making the right choices and doing the right things that get us there. We are given free will to make one continuous on-going choice between thinking, feeling and acting from either the left or right side of the equation in life, which turns into infinite ways to either get “It” or not, just like the following partial list points towards:
• Joining with or separating from
• Asking questions or giving answers
• Thinking positively or negatively
• Being optimistic or pessimistic
• Practicing altruism or selfishness
• Accepting people or judging them
• Loving unconditionally or liking conditionally
• Following ambitions or being lazy
• Surrendering or being stubborn with pride
• Being responsible or irresponsible
• Obeying or rebelling
• Seeking to be productive or destructive
• Following or ignoring our conscience
• Managing or being managed by time
• Giving or taking
• Learning and growing or staying the same
• Going for short term pleasure or long term gain
• Being egotistical or humble
• Being assertive or being passive or aggressive
• Practicing honesty or dishonesty
• Helping or hurting others
• Staying balanced or getting unbalanced
• Having abundance or scarcity mentality
• Believing in or not believing in God
• Carrying out good thoughts or forgetting them
• Being real or being artificial
• Acting or reacting
• Being moral or immoral
• Being a team player or individualist
• Listening more or talking more
• Being fully present in the now moment or not
• Practicing patience or giving into impatience
• Focusing on the journey or the destination
• Saving or spending
Let’s see “It” as the result of making the right choices to do the things that help us feel the way we want to feel. And if you apply this definition to all of us, we get the usual bell curve big picture: Most of us are going back and forth equally between one or the other side of the equation doing the things on the second list and getting part of the things on the first list; some of us spend more time on one or the other side of the equation on this second list and get the equivalent amount of “It” from our efforts; while a very few spend most of their time doing one side of the equation or the other and either getting a lot of “It” or hardly any of “It” according to which side of the equation they are spending most of their time operating from.
In this sense, life is a perfect behavior modification system—just like The Secret says, “you get exactly what you ask for.” And of course if you are not getting enough of “It,” that is because you are not making the choices that result in more of “It,” but rather making the choices on the second list that keep you from getting “It.” Pretty simple when you think about it.
But why are there just a few people who have most of “It” and the majority of us empty-handed a lot of the time? The adverse results we get are inhibited by two things:
1. Mistakenly seeing some people who appear to have the genuine “It” but not really, and thinking their clues and operating position on this left-right equation is the way to go, when it isn’t, because of the illusory results they seem to be demonstrating, but aren’t.
2. Not having enough experience at figuring out what “It” really is and not experiencing enough of the second list of options that either help you get more of “It” or less of “It,” at least well enough to see clearly what is going on and how life is really operating.
The smartest people look to the people who really have “It,” for the correct answers. But what most of us are waiting for is firsthand proof positive as to which side of the equation of life we should operate from to maximize our store of “It,” that is once we have defined “It” clearly enough to recognize when we get “It.”
Meanwhile, the lack of results by our impatience of not experiencing enough proof can be lessened by doing something to increase the necessary inspiration to do what we already know will get us plenty of “It.”
So in the meantime, somewhere in between not getting and getting “It,” here are some helpful hints at doing what you can to improve the good feelings that “It” takes to build enough proof:
1. Every once in awhile listen to what your conscience is saying, follow the advice, and track the results. You will never be disappointed, even when you expect to be.
2. Seek legitimate physical affection as it always feels good. No exceptions.
3. Try to look for some positive possibility in the worst of situations. When I was at my lowest point in life, worrying feverishly that the light at the end of the tunnel was a freight train ready to crush me, a student reminded me of the possibility of jumping aboard and riding the freight train out of the tunnel. I will never forget that great advice.
4. Read a good book, listen to music, look at some art, or walk in nature. There are always plenty of answers to inspire you to move out of your stuckness. Your attention can’t help but be diverted away from the negative thoughts, feelings and acts that keep you stuck and the impatience that super-glues you there.
5. Work and play hard, eat well, and exercise so you can sleep well. You have to feel good from doing that.
6. Do an anonymous kind deed for another person, animal or plant without wanted acknowledgment or recognition. The good feeling you get from doing this is incomparably untoppable.
7. Do anything creative because “It” is creative in nature and “Its” own source and power to attract more of “itself.” Figure that one out and you have struck oil.
8. Force yourself to be fully present in the now moment, be still and quiet, let go of your over-thinking, wandering and wondering mind and just listen and feel—you can hear and feel “It” better than see “It.” You can be in full meditation mode or just comfortably relaxed to do this.
9. Fine tune your sensitivity to being more aware of your good, positive feelings and bad, negative ones, and realize their dual purpose. Good feelings are encouraging you to continue in the direction you are headed and bad feelings are trying to tell you to stop and rethink things and do them differently for better results. No punishment or bad Karma intended.
10. Change something in your routine to allow some unexpected spontaneity to suddenly appear—especially meaningful coincidences with other people or some deep conversations with a trusted soul, sharing your secrets and suspicions.
The bottom line to all this is that there is plenty of “It” around for everyone to have more than enough; but there is only one way to get “It” and that is to make better choices to get in better alignment with the undeniable way life operates: Concentrate on doing what gets “It” and gradually let go of all the rest.
William S. Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. He lives and writes in beautiful North Bend and is author of several books including, Passwords To The Prosperity Zone, Getting It, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets and Doing What Matters Most. Bill can be reached for comments or questions at (425) 454-5011 or bcottringer.pssp.net