Dating is not a simple process.  Society and its spin doctors is persistently telling us that we need to be paired, partnered, tagged, bagged, labeled and conveniently out of the way.  This sort of pressure is enough to make anyone go insane but for gay men, dating has its own bag of crazy.  Our culture is vainglorious and obsessed with youth.  We spend our time searching for "mister wonderful" while rolling over "mister not my type" like steamrollers in pursuit of perfection.  While we're all guilty of being too picky there are tolerated limits to follow.  A little advice for the guy that tells you the hottie in the speedo with the ripped abs, perfect skin, perfect teeth and gorgeous head of hair is "his type"..."THAT'S EVERYBODY'S TYPE, STUPID!  Give the mirror a second look before you start pairing yourself with Brad Fucking Pitt."

There have been psychological studies published about why gay men are so promiscuous and unfaithful but it does not take a scientist to understand human nature.  Two men together equals sex, sex, sex.  This can be fun forever if you'r a vapid, souless vampire or worse a "cock zombie."  (cock zombies are old men that hang out in bath houses)  But for those who wish to lead a somewhat acceptable existence there is hope on the way.  A new website launches this summer based completely on finding "mr. right."  "A new gay, dating website" you say with a lisp..."how original."  Well dear...this one really is enough to make you perk up and pay attention.

FindFred.com boasts an impressive 100,000 preregistered members eagerly awaiting a chance for love.  The site claiming to be the "revolutionary way for guys to meet guys" has no pop ups, no advertisements and low monthly dues.  ($5.00 a month for unlimited access)  They are adding the final touches to a compatibility test that will help single, gay men find friends and potential lovers.  At first glance the site doesn't offer anything different than its competitors "Gay.com," "Manhunt.net," and "Adam4Adam.com."  But consider the focus of these three sites...sex and the potential hookup.  Adam4Adam.com (the best of the pack and free) doesn't have a single advertisement online that isn't pornographic.  How is anyone going to be satisfied having sex with "Average Joe" when you've been gawking at "Lucas" frollicking nude all day?  If you believe MySpace to be too content rich then try logging into Gay.com, it will crash a computer faster than a one night stand.  And Manhunt.net is nothing more than a seedy, online bathhouse which financially supported the John McCain for President campaign. 

FindFred.com will make a solid attempt to match men with men.  Their entire focus is on family and friendship giving a new spin to the old trick.  The compatibility test is based on studies of why gay relationships work and why they don't.  The site promotes safe, monogomous dating AND is donating 10% of their profit margin to the legalization of gay marriage in all fifty states.  Hmmm...now isn't that special?  You can find a husband and actually marry him.

If you're a man that needs a man...log into FindFred.com today!  They gave me my own promo code to pass out to my friends.  Since most of my friends are whores I'll just give the code to you.  It's "Gardner" and using it will give you a free month.  That's FIVE DOLLARS I just handed over!  You should buy my book with that money!  Or you could name the first Chinese, adopted daughter "Jamison."  Just a friendly suggestion...since after all...I've pretty much helped you meet your soulmate.