One of the biggest heartbreaking moments during a relationship is finding out that your partner has been or is cheating on you. At the moment you find out, you experience a multitude of different emotions…the strongest being sadness and anger which is soon followed by disgust, detest, and hate. In extreme cases, some people who were cheated on feel shame and guilt asking themselves, “What did I do wrong?” when the real question should be…”What did I do to deserve this?” Because the reality is that NOBODY deserves to be cheated on. People should have the decency to just end the relationship before going ahead and “testing the waters” with someone new. Cheating on your partner is a gutless and selfish act that proves you lack integrity and character. If you don't want to be in the relationship anymore…at least have the courtesy and respect to just end it…yes, that hurts too…but at least you don't leave the other person feeling degraded and violated.
There's no excuse for cheating…NONE. Saying - “it was a mistake,” “I had too much to drink,” “it just happened,” “there was nothing I could do,” “we only did it once” are statements that don't cover up the real truth which is…”I wanted to do it and I chose not to stop myself.” You control your own actions.
So wouldn't it be nice if you could tell in advance if your partner is cheating on you?
First, watch for changes in their behavior. A tell-tale sign you're being cheated on is when your partner starts changing the way they look. Their clothes, hair, weight, makeup…and basically anything that improves their personal hygiene…anything that makes them look more attractive. And be especially wary of this when they do it before they go out by themselves. This includes when they go to work. Keep an eye out for any deviation from their normal routine. Also, make a mental note to yourself if you notice that they start bathing or showering more frequently.
Next, watch their behavior when the two of you are alone together. Do they separate themselves from you? Do they make eye contact with you when you're talking? Do they sit away from you seeming distant and thinking about something else?
The next one is pretty obvious…phone calls or text messages. Nowadays with all the modern technology, it's become rather easy to communicate in secrecy, so be wary if you can't find their cell phone or they refuse to let you use it. If they constantly have it in their possession chances are they're hiding something or waiting for a call or message.
The next obvious sign is when they come home late or not at all. Making excuses that “I had to work late” doesn't wash. Now I'm not saying if your partner comes home late by an hour or less that they're cheating. It's those times when it's been two hours or more and they don't call you to tell why they're running late…and if they do call…watch to see how many times it happens. Does it seem to be happening quite frequently?
Another sign is when money seems to be dwindling. If you have access to their finances check to see if there have been frequent withdraws of equal amounts establishing any kind of a pattern noting how much, on what days, and how frequently. If you have any joint accounts, like credit cards, watch for any voluntary readiness your partner shows in wanting to pay the bill, taking it and not opening it in front of you. That also applies to phone bills. Also watch if you ask them for money and they don't have any OR if they ask to borrow money from you. Hotels, flowers, drinks, and late-night dinners aren't cheap.
Next, it's time to evaluate how your sex life is going. Have they lost interest? Do they speed through it just to get it done? Watch for comments on how YOU should be doing things differently or better, or things YOU do that they don't like anymore. Are they not interested? Do they make excuses for not doing it with you? Watch for comments that you should lose weight or do something to make yourself more attractive. Do they look you in the eye or pick positions so they don't have to look at you?
At this point if you think they're cheating on you, give them a hug when they come home…this gives you the chance to give them the once over. Chances are you have become accustomed to your partners various bodily odors…so with a hug you can check for new ones…like colognes or perfumes…and if they've been at work all day and come home smelling fresh…chances are they took a shower before they got there. If they don't smell so good…it could be they were sweating a bit while having sex with someone else. Check their hair…check their breath…look in their eyes and see if they make eye contact and look for hair that doesn't belong to either one of you. Sometimes you have to play detective if you think you're being cheated on. Offer to take a shower together right away…if they agree…this gives you the opportunity to look over their body for any obvious signs…look for scratches, bite marks, hickies…anything that might indicate they've recently had sex. Check closely to see if any clothing might be inside-out, including shirts, underwear, and especially socks…it's one of those things that's small but can be overlooked when getting dressed in a hurry. And as far as clothing goes, see if something they might have left with earlier, a sweater or jacket, was left in the car…offer to go and get it for them and watch if they won't let you saying, “don't worry about it,” or “I don't need it.”
That brings us to the car. You always want to check the car. Watch for odors or seat adjustments. Check the glove compartment, under the seat, and between the seats for little things that might fall out of pockets or purses…receipts or condom wrappers left behind.
In the end, maybe you think this is all a bit too dramatic…things you do if you're paranoid, but the truth is…it works. Wouldn't YOU rather be the one who figures out your partner is cheating on you? Wouldn't YOU rather end the relationship YOUR way instead of being kicked in the stomach with the news that your partner has been cheating on you?
I hope this article saves you from being hurt and helps you understand what to look for because when it's all said and done and you've uncovered the truth the look on their face is…PRICELESS.