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Patrick A Granfors

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Dateline Orlando
By Patrick A Granfors
Last edited: Saturday, November 28, 2009
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2009



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Recent articles by
Patrick A Granfors

• Best Onion Soup Ever
• Fabulous Eight Bean Soup
• Consequences
• Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
• Phobos-Grunt Re-entry
• My Second Ozark Boat Ride
• Marinating on my TV
           >> View all 22
I have huge respect for Tiger and little respect for the parasites of the media who once again wet themselves. Still it is a shameless humor opportunity.

Headline Orlando Florida

 

Tiger Woods Injured In Car Crash

 

Eyewitness report (wife) 2:30 am:

 

Heard crash, rushed to scene, Escalade knocked over fire hydrant and hit tree in front of residence. Used golf club to smash out rear window of vehicle already involved in a rear end collision with aforementioned objects.

 

Responders report:

 

Found individual lying on street with facial cuts and mouth bleeding while lapsing in and out of consciousness. Serious injury.

 

Hospital spin, 16 hours later:

 

Patient released in good condition

 

Translation: (Multiple Choice) choose as many as applies ….Tiger

 

A): Did something really bad and should be very grateful his wife is  not a golf pro and that she didn’t sleep naked last night.

 

B): Should be glad that the vehicle door locks were operational

 

C): Needs to consider the benefits of conscious lapses as it applies to club hostesses.

 

D):  Needs to consult with Toyota’s lawyers about sticky throttles.

 

E): Should wear his seat belt like the rest of us.

 

F): Should stay in bed at 2:30 am like most of the rest of us

 

G):  Should realize that sleep driving is its own cure

 

H): Should have been driving the Buick he plugs and none of this would have happened.

 

I): Needs to offer a donation to the Arborist’s Society

 

J): Needs to talk to his knee surgeon about faulty wiring

 

 

Copyright 2009 Patrick Granfors

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 11/28/2009
Should wear his seat belt like the rest of us. Ain't that obvious??? Duh!
I say once and I will say it again, hitting weird little white balls get you to do weird things...like driving a Toyota! (LOL)

Georg

Reviewed by Louisa Dobbins 11/28/2009
(H) Haaaa :-)
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/28/2009
thought provoking
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 11/28/2009
I think I like 'I' the best. And if he was locked inside his Escalade, where the heck did his wife find a golf club to bash in the back window??
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