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Patrick A Granfors

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Dateline Orlando
By Patrick A Granfors
Last edited: Saturday, November 28, 2009
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2009

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Recent articles by
Patrick A Granfors

• Best Onion Soup Ever
• Fabulous Eight Bean Soup
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• Phobos-Grunt Re-entry
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I have huge respect for Tiger and little respect for the parasites of the media who once again wet themselves. Still it is a shameless humor opportunity.

Headline Orlando Florida


Tiger Woods Injured In Car Crash


Eyewitness report (wife) 2:30 am:


Heard crash, rushed to scene, Escalade knocked over fire hydrant and hit tree in front of residence. Used golf club to smash out rear window of vehicle already involved in a rear end collision with aforementioned objects.


Responders report:


Found individual lying on street with facial cuts and mouth bleeding while lapsing in and out of consciousness. Serious injury.


Hospital spin, 16 hours later:


Patient released in good condition


Translation: (Multiple Choice) choose as many as applies ….Tiger


A): Did something really bad and should be very grateful his wife is  not a golf pro and that she didn’t sleep naked last night.


B): Should be glad that the vehicle door locks were operational


C): Needs to consider the benefits of conscious lapses as it applies to club hostesses.


D):  Needs to consult with Toyota’s lawyers about sticky throttles.


E): Should wear his seat belt like the rest of us.


F): Should stay in bed at 2:30 am like most of the rest of us


G):  Should realize that sleep driving is its own cure


H): Should have been driving the Buick he plugs and none of this would have happened.


I): Needs to offer a donation to the Arborist’s Society


J): Needs to talk to his knee surgeon about faulty wiring



Copyright 2009 Patrick Granfors





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Reviewed by Georg Mateos 11/28/2009
Should wear his seat belt like the rest of us. Ain't that obvious??? Duh!
I say once and I will say it again, hitting weird little white balls get you to do weird driving a Toyota! (LOL)


Reviewed by Louisa Dobbins 11/28/2009
(H) Haaaa :-)
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/28/2009
thought provoking
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 11/28/2009
I think I like 'I' the best. And if he was locked inside his Escalade, where the heck did his wife find a golf club to bash in the back window??

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