BAM VP – Be A More Vibrant Person In 2012
M is for meditation. Allow time for quiet introspection and problem solving. Ease into it by daydreaming. Gaze out a window and focus on your breathing. While enjoying nature you are doing a form of meditation. Your thoughts are in the moment. Yesterday’s worries and tomorrow’s challenges do not exist.
Get to the Bottom of Addictive Behavior and Move On With Your Life
While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.” - Benjamin Franklin
*Jennifer had a life most women would envy. A beautiful home, well-behaved children and a husband who was a good provider. She also had a self-indulgence that she kept secret. It started with a glass of wine in the evening to relax after everyone had gone to bed. She told herself that one or two can’t hurt so she added one, then two during the day. Eventually, the fear that she might be becoming an alcoholic began to alarm her.
Is Three Too Much?
Women who drink at home alone are more likely than others to later have drinking problems according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, a component of the National Institutes of Health. Depression is closely linked to heavy drinking. Among women who drink, 13 percent have more than seven drinks per week. A report from the Dietary Guidelines for Americans indicates this to be above the recommended limits for women based on the lower level of water in a woman’s body to dilute alcohols effect.
Getting to the Bottom
Jennifer questioned why she was in such a self -destructive mode. Meditation helped her probe deeply into her problem…take an honest look at what she was doing to herself and ultimately her family. Until recently she was the soccer mom. Her identity wrapped around her children, their activities, their wants and needs. However, as they grew older and more independent, they neither needed - nor wanted so much of her attention.
She felt she no longer had an important role in life. So who was she? What was she supposed to do now? Discontented with staying at home but afraid to venture into the job market made her feel more depressed. She finally resolved to start doing things for herself that would boost her self-esteem.
The **BAMVP stress reduction techniques and “time for me” getaways allowed her to reflect on who she was and what she wanted out of life. She joined a fun exercise activity - belly dancing; registered with a temp work agency to brush up on her job skills and ease back into the workforce. Best of all Jennifer renewed a past passion when she enrolled in a series of art workshops.
Stress Plays a Role in Addictive Behavior
One of the reasons people drink, overeat, chain smoke, gamble compulsively, etc., is to help cope with stress. For people like Jennifer getting to the bottom, uncovering the core issue, is all that is needed to begin to move on. Others may have to hit rock bottom, what I call the “Popeye fed up mode” of “That’s all I can stand and I can’t stands no more!” That’s when they move to action and seek help. Counseling, outreach groups like AA, Gamblers Anonymous, weight management programs, and faith help them to move on with life.
When you deal with what is causing the stress in your life, the addictive behavior becomes manageable. And for some like Jennifer, no longer necessary.
*From the book, “When You Need a Timeout.”
**BAMVP = Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation