In the 65 years I've been on this planet, I don't ever remember having a counterfeit bill of any denomination on me. Maybe, I handled one, and didn't even know it. Counterfeit money is so realistic (so I'm told) that it is hard to tell the difference between real money and funny money.
One day, I was getting my driver's license re-newed at the Motor Vehicle office. After all the paperwork and photo had been done, I paid the clerk with a twenty-dollar bill. The clerk took the bill and looked at it skyward, checking that the bill was real. Satisfied that the money I gave her was real, I got my change. I held one of the dollar bills she gave me, up to the ceiling lights, to see if if was real...and we had a little laugh over the situation.
She then proceeded to tell me a little story about real and counterfeit money, that almost got her in trouble. She told me, that one day, she went down the street to a burger joint, to buy lunch for herself and a few fellow-employees. She ordered everything and paid for the lunch with a $20 dollar bill. After ordering and paying for lunch, she calmly went over by the large window of the burger joint, and waited for her lunch.
After a couple of minutes of waiting...she looked out the window, and she noticed a police car race up to the burger joint, and park at the curb in front. Then another police car raced up and parked...and then another police car...raced up and parked at the curb! And then another...and another...and, she wonder what was going on at the burger joint, where there were all of a sudden all these police cars!
A few seconds later, she was approached by all seven policemen, and two fellows dressed in a business suit. They were FBI agents, and showed her their I.D., and by this time she was scared to death! She had no idea why the police approached her! The FBI agent flashed a $20 dollar bill her way and asked, "Did you pay for your lunch with a 20 dollar bill?"
Afraid and quite nervous...but, but, but officer... she had paid for lunch with a twenty dollar bill...which in turn, the FBI agent told her that it was counterfeit! She was shocked, as her heart almost fell on the floor! "I didn't, didn't, didn't (nervous) know that I had any money, money, money that is counterfeit," she told the officers! "I had no idea...idea...idea!" (extremely nervous)
She told the officers...but, but, but, but officer...she didn't know where she got the bill. The FBI agent showed her a piece of paper, to sign over the $20 dollar bill, and she would have to pay for her own lunch...this time with REAL money.
The moral of the story...be careful where and how you spend all that funny money you've got in your pocket...all that money you think is real.
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Copyright; 2011; Jerry Aragon/The Humor Doctor