Many years ago, I saw a skit on Happy Days or someplace, about a young man and his girlfriend, out having dinner. The man did nothing but talk about himself...about how great he was...he just could not stop talking about himself. Meanwhile, his girlfriend looked a little annoyed...but she kept quiet and let him talk...
In the meantime, the camera cut away and showed other parts of the show...and when the 30 minutes was up and the show was almost over...the camera cut back to the dinner table where the guy and his girlfriend were sitting. During that time, the guy kept on talking about himself...over and over and over...and his girlfriend was about to fall asleep...And then, he finally stopped talking about himself...and looked as if he was going to give his girlfriend a chance to talk, when he said..."and so what do you think about me?"
For those of you out there, who can't stop looking at yourself in the mirror...night and day...you may relate to the following quotes;
"None who are so empty...are so full of themselves." Benjamin Schepenhauer
"A man wrapped up in himself...makes for a very small bundle." Benjamin Franklin
"There are two types of egotists; those who admit and the rest of us."
"It is well to remember, that the entire population of the universe, with one trifling exception...is composed of others." Andrew Holmes
"Don't talk about yourself too much...it will be done when you leave." Wilson Miznor
"A conceited person never gets anywhere...because he thinks he's already there." George Eliot
"I never had pity for a conceited people, because I think they carry their comfort around with them." Oscar Wilde
"He was like a cock, who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow." George Eliot
"Nobody stands taller, than those willing to stand corrected." William Safire
"Swallow your pride occasionally...and don't worry...it's not fattening."
"Flattery is alright as long as you don't inhale." Adlai Stevenson
"People who put themselves above others, will fall longer and harder." Gina Lindsey
"A man may do a great deal of good...that is...if he doesn't care who get the credit for it." Father Strickland
"Lord...where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make it easier to live with." Peter Marshall
"If every fool wore a crown...we should all be kings." Welse Proverb
"The man who thinks he can live without others is mistaken; the one who thinks others cannot live without him, is more deluded." Hasidic Sayic
"Stop starring...I know I look great."
"What kills a skunk...is the publicity it gives itself." Abraham Lincoln
"It wasn't until late in life, that I discovered how easy is is to say, 'I don't know.'"
"Too many people overvalue what they are; and not enough people undervalue what they are."
"It's not the titles that honor men; it's the men that honor titles." Nicolo Machiarolt
Excuse me...excuse me...if you could just stop looking at yourself in the mirror for a second...this is the last quote...
"The body is wild and the mind is foolish...and the practice of egotism; being selfish; and being conceited...is your life passing away!
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Copyright; 2011; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor;
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