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Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)

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Dear Santa...
by Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, February 24, 2013
Posted: Tuesday, December 20, 2011

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What this world needs is more HUMOR! And no, we don't need to celebrate the birth of Christ...along side with these rediculous days such as the so-called Black Friday and Super Saturday, who were conceived by the Corporate greedsters in America, etc.

In America, we all celebrate the birth of Christ, in our own way...and the day is not about the Retail Sales Index; Black Friday; or Super Saturday.  That's all for the corporate greedsters, etc. 

I was born in 1945, and I have lived through the dangerous Cold War, whereby different nations around the world, threatened each other with extinction, with nuclear and the possibility of World War III.  It was terrifying for all the peoples of the world. 

With the falling of the Berlin Wall, sanity was restored to the Earth, and every nation of the world, must do and maintain peace on Earth

And, that's the only thing on my list, Santa...that there be continued peace in the world, etc.  Part of the celebration of the birth of Christ, is to have joy and laughter...along with family and good friends.   

And...as Ed Sullivan would say...'let the shoe begin'...

Q.   What does Father Christmas suffer from, if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A.  Claustrophobia

Q.  Who delivers the cats Christmas presents?
A.  Santa Paws

Q.  Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?
A.  Because it soots him. 

Q.  Mommy...can I have a cat for Christmas?
A.  No dear, you will have turkey just like the rest of us. 

Q.  How do chickens dance at the Christmas Party? 
A.  Chick to chick...

Q.  What happened when the snowman annoyed the snow-woman?
A.  She gave him the cold-shoulder. 

Q.  Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A.  You can see right through them. 

Q.  What kind of trees do fingers grow on?
A.  Palm trees. 

Q.  What do you get if Santa  comes down the chimney when a fire is ablaze?
A.  Crisp Kringle

T'was the night before Christmas...and all through the courthouse, not a creature was stirring, except for the Magistrate...and in a good mood...asked the prisoner what he was charged with. 

The prisoner replied, 'Christmas shopping, your honor.' 

"That's no crime," said the magistrate.  "Just how were you doing the shopping?" 

"Before the shop opened, your honor." 

Q.  Why is Christmas just like any other day at the office?
A.  You do all the work, and the fat guy in the red suit, gets all the credit. 

$64,000 question:  Christmas is just so weird.  What other time of the year, do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room; eating candy and snacks out of your socks?

Q.  What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A.  It's Christmas...Eve. 

Q.  How does Jack Frost get to work?
A.  Byicicle

Did you know...
Bernard Manning, said the three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are as follows;
- Peace on Earth
- Goodwill to men;
- Batteries not included;

Q.  Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed?
A.  He had low elf-esteem. 

 Q.  Did you hear that the Governor's Mansion in Montgomery, Alabama nearly burned to the ground?
A.  Yep...pert'near took out the whole trailer park. 

Q.  A man said his credit card was stolen, but he did not report it.  Why?  The thief spent less than his wife did. 

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