AuthorsDen.com  Join | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Wynn Schiller, iGreg Pendleton, iJohn MacEachern, iAmy Sellers, iRichard Tscherne, iDavid Snowdon, iGeorge Wallach, i
  Home > Inspirational > Articles
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 279 titles
· 387 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Jul, 2009

   Sitemap
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Books
· Tend To Your Garden Within


Articles
· How Often Do Compare Yourself With Others?

· Does Practice Make Perfect?

· Beware of Iceberg

· Are You Seeking Freedom?

· What is the Benefit of Your Bad Habit?

· How Do you Numb Yourself?

· Dark Night of the Soul

· I Will Not Abandon You!

· Joy & Sorrow

· Taking Responsibility


Poetry
· Compariosn

· Long Invisible Chains

· Escape From intimacy

· Father I Need You

· Listening to You

· Joy & Sorrow

· Mirror of You and Me

· Welcome Home

· GPS

· Longivity

         More poetry...

Shervin Hojat, Ph.D., click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Learn How to Connect
By Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.
Last edited: Sunday, October 16, 2011
Posted: Sunday, October 16, 2011



Share    Print   Save  Become a Fan
Recent articles by
Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

• How Often Do Compare Yourself With Others?
• Does Practice Make Perfect?
• Beware of Iceberg
• Are You Seeking Freedom?
• What is the Benefit of Your Bad Habit?
• How Do you Numb Yourself?
• Dark Night of the Soul
           >> View all 138
Do not be fooled by the frown or lack of eye contact.

When we are under pressure and stress we behave and react differently than when we are content and happy.  We sometimes get upset when our friends and family, under stress, behave in a strange, indirect or childish manner.  We may get upset or misread their behavior by leaving them alone when they actually need our attention the most.

Do you know how your mate, friends or family behave when under stress? How do you communicate under stress?  Do you talk about the source of your stress with your friends right away?  Do you frantically clean the house or your car?  Do you run to the gym?  Do you rush to the refrigerator or your favorite store in the mall?   Do you look for a just cause to release your emotions?

Someone who has been raised not to ask for their needs will not speak up when they are hurting or stressed. They most likely withdraw and become quiet.  If we are the type that expects direct communication, we may take their lack of interaction personally and complicate matters by assuming their behavior is something personal against us or they do not need our support.

In the context of Tending to Your Garden Within, it is important not to generalize or expect certain behaviors from the plants in our garden within.  An effective gardener needs to learn how the plants react when happy or under stress.  The poem below describes this protective mechanism further.

 

Do Not be Fooled

 

Do not be fooled by the mean look.

 

Do not be fooled by the frown or lack of eye contact.

 

Tough appearances are not an indication of a lack of pain or suffering.

 

The withdrawn is seeking to connect in their own way.

 

You may not know how the withdrawn  

wants to connect and communicate.

 

It varies from personalities and communities.

 

See and feel the situation with your heart

not purely with your eyes.

 

Feel the walls built to dam the pain within.

 

An empathetic word, a smile, a hug or a phone call

may break the dam

turning the tough looking person into a grieving child.

 

See the heart rushing toward the dam.

 

Burst open the dam.

 

Copyright . 2011 by Shervin Hojat

 

Web Site Tend To Your Garden Within
f

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!



Books by
Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.



Tend To Your Garden Within

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..


Popular
Inspirational Articles
  1. SAVING FACE: from gangster, guns to Glory
  2. This is YOU and this is ME, Got It?
  3. Retiring As A Successful Failure: 4 ways t
  4. Never Miss An Opportunity To Say A Kind Wo
  5. Listen, Don’t Talk……just listen
  6. WHO WANTS CHANGE? WHO WANTS TO CHANGE?
  7. Zoetics: New Perspectives on Fundamental C
  8. Facing Our Fear
  9. Anticipate or Participate?
  10. I Will Not Abandon You!
  11. Having a Positive Christian Attitude
  12. Being Okay With Being Average
  13. Negative Emotions
  14. Accept Me: I’ll Fix You
  15. Good News/Bad News
  16. Joy & Sorrow
  17. Lovely Thoughts
  18. How Do you Numb Yourself?
  19. Reflections
  20. Spring Newsletter

You can also search authors by alphabetical listing: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen

© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.