Sometimes we need to take a look in the rear view mirror to receive new insight regarding what has happened in our past. Like me, you may have experienced intense moments in the past and perhaps are curious to view a new perspective on what has transpired.
Over time we may experience the same events with different people. Dealing with an issue we may have had with a sister when a teenager: now dealing with the same issue with a co-worker as an adult. We may be experiencing similar patterns, issues and feelings. Feelings can be those of being abandoned, being pushed around (losing self), not being loved, or fear of rejection. Looking back, we may realize that we have been dealing with the same issues for a long time and get discouraged at our progress.
Our personal and spiritual growth is continuous and evolving. We may repeat an issue (dealing with fear) several times in a span of many years which may seem old and repetitive. However, the depth and intensity of these issues most likely varies (we have learned and grown). Imagine being on a tree climbing up. We may be on the same location on the trunk of a tree, but a different height. The realization of pace and depth of growth is a great mechanism to gauge our progress and can be a source of self encouragement (instead of despair at seemingly slow progress). The poem below describes this issue further.
Reaching the Bottom
Swimming at the surface
guided by gentle winds and waves.
Comfortable, effortless at the surface
the only guarantee is change.
Change is a means to reach new frontiers of self awareness
we have not touched.
A change in wind and current takes the swimmer under the water.
Swimmer has been under the water many times before.
Swimmer feels frustrated for repeating seemingly old patterns again.
He thinks, I thought I was done with my schooling.
Swimmer sinks to the bottom of the ocean of his unconscious reality.
Nothing is in sight but dark murky waters.
Where is the bottom?
Where is the top?
Bottom of the ocean is further away this time.
Something has changed.
It is taking longer to get to the bottom.
What has gone wrong?
Panic covers the swimmer in the midst of darkness.
Hopelessly and helplessly sinking with no effort.
His feet touch the bottom unexpectedly!
A sudden surge of reactive force propels the swimmer to
the surface at an amazing speed.
Swimmer flies out of the water like a dolphin
and swims at the surface again.
Swimmer is more aware of his boundaries.
Swimming with expectations of going under
to experience new frontiers.
Copyright . 2011 by Shervin Hojat