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Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

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Accept Me: I値l Fix You
By Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.
Last edited: Sunday, July 22, 2012
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012



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Recent articles by
Shervin Hojat, Ph.D.

• Taking Responsibility
• Facing Our Fear
• The Trouble With I Don't Know!
• Idiot! You Did it Again.
• Why You Want to Live a long Time?
• Expressing the Taboo
• Being Authentic
           >> View all 129
What if the people we think we are helping think that they are unique the way they are? Do you still attempt to help them by trying to change them?

You may run into people who want to “help” others to change. They can spend a great amount of time and energy to take care of their fixer upper person.  This at the surface may be very noble.

Sometimes directing our energies to help others may not be in the highest good of anyone (distraction from helping self).  If we think that we are so special and unique that nobody should question us, then it requires we be considerate of others the same way!  What if the people we think we are helping think that they are unique the way they are?  Do you still attempt to help them by trying to change them?

 

Accept Me:  I’ll Fix You

Have you observed the paradox?

This is how it goes: 

Accept me the way I am.

I am unique and I love my uniqueness.

Do not suggest or tell me what to do!

All I ask you to do is accept me the way I am.

On the other hand:

I need to help you to “fix” yourself.

I can sense what you need without you asking me.

I will help you more than anyone else.

I want to help you so you become unique!

What a paradox!

Why do you want to be accepted the way you are and

not accept others the way they are?

Copyright . 2012 by Shervin Hojat

 

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Reviewed by Shoma Mittra 7/24/2012
Spot on Shervin!
Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader) 7/23/2012
I like how this wraps judgement and opinion up in the same package. This is inclusive of 'relationship friction points', of 'manipulation for dominance sake' and 'the smugness of being 'right' and 'need to control.' All of those in this presentation. Very insightful. Even 'attempting to "fix" people' is a nonacceptance of what is. I have done many years of what I call "collecting human strays," which included trying to 'help' individuals who appear to me to be 'floundering,' but surprising to me, to no avail. Once realizing that acceptance of 'what is' is the real fix, I can let go of the self-assigned, 'saving' endeavor'. Funny how this realization seems counterintuitive, though, isn't it? ~~ Diana

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