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Valerie Ann Roeske

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Damn Poor us on the Edge of Life
By Valerie Ann Roeske   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, May 29, 2009
Posted: Friday, May 29, 2009

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Damn poor us for being only caterpillars without wings to fly

Life does not last forever, true ly I know all too well the deep numbness that comes over the heart and resides in the heart after a great loss, the deep pain and anguish, the emptiness, the unbearable loneliness, that overpowering numb feeling, the timeless aching that no-one else can feel or cure, the pain that lives deep within, that no-one can touch, feel or cure, beneath the smiles, beneath the hugs, so internally deep  it becomes the lonesome unattended sorrow and grief, so very unbearable at times that we tend to forget why we are left behind to suffer, why so suddenly our once comfortable life changed.  This great grief becomes part of our idenity, confusing the heart. We no-longer know who we are , what we will become, because of this sudden void, this unchangeable circumstance we are changed forever in many great ways, we can either identify ourselves as our loss, and simply loose who we are, we could tip-toe on the edge of life, or the edge of death, being unable to identify ourselves as individual again, or  we can engage our experience and make  this change  within.

What would it be someday if we could look at death and not see death but life, to really true ly understand the dash between the dates on a headstone, .... to recall and acknowledge, to really connect with life again, not to forget but learn from this experience, not to become existance ..... but to exsist again.

What would it be if someday we could true ly open our hearts again, universal, as light, to live again comfortablely, concerned, caring, loving, and open to new possibilities, to happen again, and true ly see the beauty that lives around us, expanding our concern for others, opening our eyes to life again, to heal, to hope, to cultivate ..... not so much as what we want, but to offer what is needed, to fall back to earth, and see love again, to see beauty in life, to true ly divinely love again, to identify our oneness, not to be loved but by being loving to those around us, to find hope again, to find life again, to find the purpose of our being, exploring life in a deeper sense, not to forget, but to live, exploring new pain, traveling new roads, to deeply love again, with acceptance, and appreciation, understanding what true ly lies beneath the surface of the heart, to have a new birth, a new beginnning, If ever you loved me the way I loved you, you will find peace with life again.


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Reviewed by Richard Orey 9/27/2009
My dearest Valerie, I am deeply touched by this expression of your
agonizing pain, as I believe any loving and compassionate soul would be. I have not walked in your shoes, but in my early life I felt enormous pain and abandonment and hopelessness, so I understand to at least some degree the anguish and despair you express.
In one of my postings titled, "Life Is But The First Part," I signal that being a caperillar without wings is a condition only affixed during our time on Earth, that God has a plan for us in our future that includes "wings to fly."

You are a kind and gentle and loving soul, Dear Valerie. I hope that by the time of my review posting here some of your pain will have diminished in intensity to allow you to go on with a new birth in a new beginning.

Bless you, Dear Heart. You are in my prayers.

Reviewed by Micki Peluso 5/30/2009

This was beautifully written, a sad reality, and after reading it I hope to become a "butterfly" one day. my daughter wrote a poem about her sister who was killed at 14 by a dwi--this is much like the essence of that poem.

Thanks for sharing

Micki Peluso
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 5/30/2009
Valerie...your closing lines bind the depths of emotional wealth into this lovely poetic is important to love above our self for another the selflessness of it is truly rewarding
and within the transformation of any emotion may we all know love's beauty...even those without wings

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