Oh the woes of dating. You meet someone and he seems to be a nice person. Nervous butterflies fill your stomach with excitement as you prepare for your dinner date. Your date picks you up from your apartment dressed nicely, smelling good, and ready for a night out. The conversation on the way to the restaurant is appropriate and charming. You seem to be communicating. He is open and wise, willing to tell his life story.
As you enter the restaurant and wait for your table there is a little silence as you listen to the background music being played. Your table is ready, you sit down and then it happens. Before your date begins to ask if you know what you are going to order you feel a cringe. As you scroll the menu to find the entree you want to order he begins to say sweet things like "you are so different" or "I can see us getting married" or "you are so beautiful, I need you."
My ex-husband said these very words to me on your first date. I cringed on the inside as he confessed his love for me and was willing to commit to me in such a short period of time. So many things were running through my mind. I was thinking about all the times the guys I used to date were afraid to tell me that they loved me or was willing to commit. But here was guy that was willing to give what I was looking for. I jumped on the chance to be with this person. In the end he turned out to be an abuser and a con-artist.
In my article "Spot an Abuser on Your First Date" I give three points to look for in an abuser on your first date 1.Needy behavior 2. Jealousy and 3. Quick Commitment. I wrote this article based on my personal experience with abuse and the precursors to abuse in noticed in hindsight.
"Spot an Abuser on Your First Date"